[Luddite Patent Counsel]

The baking of Cosmic Bread intereferes with the natural flow of Phlogiston. These bakers are committing crimes against humanity, and must be immediately arrested and summarily executed. Apparently, if it's good enough for the voices in my head, it's good enough to be listened to by the British government.

[handy old one]

Does this person have any electrical appliances, lights or motors in use. EMF has the same effect as Microwave radation except at a long range.

[The Duke]

The bread may have problems, but I bet the fruitcakes continue to flourish. :)

[wolfpat]

I bet if the picture were larger, you'd see the tin foil hat on the baker's head.

[Lazamataz]

'Cosmic' bakery's phone mast fear

Nominated for the Wierdest Headline of the Month.

[nuconvert]

"radio waves will ruin its "cosmic bread". "

You know my last batch of cosmic bread was ruined by radio waves.....had to throw it out. Just wasn't cosmic anymore.

[MineralMan]

"Cosmic Bread" = Regular Price times 3.

[_Jim]

Recommended course of action for the wireless provider intent on installing 'the radio mast' (sic) -

- install the 'mast', even install Heliax and antennas, but skip installing any RF hardware (by not installing the RF hardware and line interface rack the temptation to actually 'turn up' the site will not be an issue, plus, it would be impossible for said site to emit/tramsit RF energy)

- field the complaints from the bakery, carefully noting in all correspondence that the particular cell site ('radio mast') is not in service as of those dates

- quietly, at some prudent point, install the RF equipment and 'tun up' said cite.

- observe for the presence or absence of 'complaints'.

[austinmark]

'Living process' The bread is certified by the Demeter licence, issued by the Biodynamic Agricultural Association, which promotes farming based on a holistic and spiritual understanding of nature. Timothy Brink, development officer for the Demeter sign, said the 50 metre rule was "a precautionary measure". "It is because so little is known yet and there is so little research to prove that radiation from mobile phone masts is safe. "Making the bread is a living process, similar to yoghurt, where the dough rises and develops with the yeast. "Our concerns are about microwave radiation affecting the baking process.

"Making the bread is a living process"..... huh......?

"yoghurt"..... ???? (maybe more Painful to swollow???)

You just KNOW everyone there owns a cell phone, do they worry about Brain Tumors ? I bet they even use Sun Block (SPF 10,000) just to guard against Solar Flair burns & it's Radiation. These people all sound "Half Baked" to me. ;)

[HairOfTheDog]

Jimmy Buffett believes in Cosmic Bakers...

Fruitcakes
By: jimmy buffett, amy lee
1994

--spoken:
You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she
Runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told
Me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers
Took us out of the oven a little too early. and that’s the
Reason we’re as crazy as we are and I believe it.

Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered
Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I don’t want it.
I don’t want that much organziation in my life.
I don’t want other people thinking for me.
I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the
Movies. I don’t want a 12 lb. nestle’s crunch for 25 dollars. i
Want junior mints.

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! I’m mad as hell! and I don’t want to
Take it anymore!

[jonascord]

A classic example of having just enough knowledge to be really stupid. If he/she/it know more about EMF, there would be no worry, and without out ANY knowledge, Ditzo could continue to blame the phase of the Moon when the dough fails to rise...

[sumocide]

Thanks a lot, I lost ten IQ points just by reading that photo caption.

[ApplegateRanch]

Would wrapping the bakery in tinfoil help? Maybe tinfoil on the outside, and gold leaf on the inside, seperated by an air-gap...

[tricky_k_1972]

Want to read about what happens when these nut balls get control, check out this book it is a great read.

Fallen Angels:

In a nutshell two astronauts crashland into the middle of a future US where most technology has been outlawed in favor of an extremist form of environmentalism.

(Link to full book free online)

[6SJ7]

Cosmic muffins that won't rise to a higher plane because of a radio tower? This bakery has bigger things to worry about. Have they considered how they have tortured the lowly grains of wheat to make this bread? Is wheat not a living thing? < tinfoil hat off >

[altura]

I just ate some Artisan bread. They call it french bread but it is sweet and has something baked into it that looks like ants.

Oh, well.

[P.O.E.]

I plan to stand out front and play my theremin in protest.

[LibFreeOrDie]

These guys are nuts! According to their standards for producing baked goods (and these are only a few):
* Alcohol in all forms is prohibited.
* Baking in foil is prohibited (so no tinfoil hats around apparently).
* Microwave ovens may not be used for thawing.
* Baking in high frequency infra-red ovens is not permitted.

http://demeter.net/standards/st_processing_e04.pdf

[CMOTB]

They could just build a Faraday Cage around their bakery, that would block the signals from the tower AND any other radio signals entering the building. And of course all the electrical energy being emitted from their own appliances would stop radiating out into everyone else's space.

[reformedliberal]

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