Cosmic muffins that won't rise to a higher plane because of a radio tower? This bakery has bigger things to worry about. Have they considered how they have tortured the lowly grains of wheat to make this bread? Is wheat not a living thing? < tinfoil hat off >
Don't forget the wee yeasty-beasties; they bake them alive, or at least all the ones they don't starve to death by failing to continue feeding them as the multiply during the rise-time.
Talk about cruelty. 'seed' the dough, let them multiply beyond all reason, then let them starve, then 'cremate' them, including any living survivors.
No wonder YHVH banned leavened bread! Only pagans could be so cruel.