'Cosmic' bakery's phone mast fear

BBC ^ | 12/20/2004 | Staff

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

The baking of Cosmic Bread intereferes with the natural flow of Phlogiston. These bakers are committing crimes against humanity, and must be immediately arrested and summarily executed. Apparently, if it's good enough for the voices in my head, it's good enough to be listened to by the British government.

[handy old one]

Does this person have any electrical appliances, lights or motors in use. EMF has the same effect as Microwave radation except at a long range.

[The Duke]

The bread may have problems, but I bet the fruitcakes continue to flourish. :)

[wolfpat]

I bet if the picture were larger, you'd see the tin foil hat on the baker's head.

[Lazamataz]

'Cosmic' bakery's phone mast fear

Nominated for the Wierdest Headline of the Month.

[nuconvert]

"radio waves will ruin its "cosmic bread". "

You know my last batch of cosmic bread was ruined by radio waves.....had to throw it out. Just wasn't cosmic anymore.

[MineralMan]

"Cosmic Bread" = Regular Price times 3.

[Rebelbase]

"EMF has the same effect as Microwave radation except at a long range."

At the yeast you'd probably get a rise out of the bakers if you told them that.

[fso301]

Nominated for the Wierdest Headline of the Month

As Rush says, you can't make this stuff up.

[_Jim]

Recommended course of action for the wireless provider intent on installing 'the radio mast' (sic) -

- install the 'mast', even install Heliax and antennas, but skip installing any RF hardware (by not installing the RF hardware and line interface rack the temptation to actually 'turn up' the site will not be an issue, plus, it would be impossible for said site to emit/tramsit RF energy)

- field the complaints from the bakery, carefully noting in all correspondence that the particular cell site ('radio mast') is not in service as of those dates

- quietly, at some prudent point, install the RF equipment and 'tun up' said cite.

- observe for the presence or absence of 'complaints'.

[handy old one]

And telling them no more easy to use gagets to speed up the job. Back to the OLD way by hand and fire light!! HAHAHaHa!!

[_Jim]

EMF has the same effect as Microwave radation except at a long range

EMF (electromotive force)

or

EMF (electromagnetic fields)?

One is/can be just a battery (the first) while the second if an E-H (electro-magentic) 'field' capable of propagating through space on its own (literally: radio wave).

In the case of the 2nd term, EMF is the same as Microwave radiation.

In the case of the first, I presently have a fluorescent kitchen lamp that has failed and when it blinks I can hear the 'arcing' in my PC speakers as it creates spikes on the AC line ...

[austinmark]

'Living process' The bread is certified by the Demeter licence, issued by the Biodynamic Agricultural Association, which promotes farming based on a holistic and spiritual understanding of nature. Timothy Brink, development officer for the Demeter sign, said the 50 metre rule was "a precautionary measure". "It is because so little is known yet and there is so little research to prove that radiation from mobile phone masts is safe. "Making the bread is a living process, similar to yoghurt, where the dough rises and develops with the yeast. "Our concerns are about microwave radiation affecting the baking process.

"Making the bread is a living process"..... huh......?

"yoghurt"..... ???? (maybe more Painful to swollow???)

You just KNOW everyone there owns a cell phone, do they worry about Brain Tumors ? I bet they even use Sun Block (SPF 10,000) just to guard against Solar Flair burns & it's Radiation. These people all sound "Half Baked" to me. ;)

[HairOfTheDog]

Jimmy Buffett believes in Cosmic Bakers...

Fruitcakes
By: jimmy buffett, amy lee
1994

--spoken:
You know I was talking to my friend desdemona the other day she
Runs this space station and bake shop down near boomtown. she told
Me that human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers
Took us out of the oven a little too early. and that’s the
Reason we’re as crazy as we are and I believe it.

Take for example when you go to the movies these days, you know.
They try to sell you this jumbo drink, 8 extra ounces of watered
Down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents. I don’t want it.
I don’t want that much organziation in my life.
I don’t want other people thinking for me.
I want my junior mints. where did the junior mints go in the
Movies. I don’t want a 12 lb. nestle’s crunch for 25 dollars. i
Want junior mints.

We need more fruitcakes in this world and less bakers!
We need people that care! I’m mad as hell! and I don’t want to
Take it anymore!

[Lurker]

Naw, that would make too much sense.

What's empirical data when you've got 'cosmic forces' at work?

L

[jonascord]

A classic example of having just enough knowledge to be really stupid. If he/she/it know more about EMF, there would be no worry, and without out ANY knowledge, Ditzo could continue to blame the phase of the Moon when the dough fails to rise...

[GSlob]

"These bakers are committing crimes against humanity, and must be immediately arrested and summarily executed."
Well, before applying thermal treatment to the bakers for being possessed by a pythonic spirit, one should inquire further: so-called Cosmic Bread being sold in Great Britain, there must be some consumers of it. While a healthy doubt should be given to their opinions (who knows how kooky and wacky they are or even have to be to consume that kind of stuff), one should inquire from them about how good a bread it actually is. Besides, the kookiness might be contagious.

[sumocide]

Thanks a lot, I lost ten IQ points just by reading that photo caption.

[ApplegateRanch]

Would wrapping the bakery in tinfoil help? Maybe tinfoil on the outside, and gold leaf on the inside, seperated by an air-gap...