Posted on 01/04/2005 12:24:26 PM PST by Keyes2000mt
The words were said countless thousands of times last year as a minister concluded the ceremony. "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder." But so often man and woman do.
While gay marriage has been roundly condemned in most churches (and rightly so), you will not hear much about divorce. In many cases, if divorce is discussed in church, it's talked about as this horrible circumstance that comes upon people, listed in the same breath as automobile accidents or serious illnesses.
The Bible is quite clear on the issue of divorce. Malachi 2:16 says it clearly, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away (i.e. Divorce)..." Hate's a strong word and Christ reiterates this in the New Testament. Yet, in the church, even in Conservative churches, a man is more likely to feel uncomfortable with pierced ear than with a couple divorces behind him.
There's good reason why the church and conservatives are skittish about this topic. There's no one who doesn't know someone who's been divorced. They fill our church pews every Sunday. We know them to be decent folks who agree with us on a lot of cultural issues. Randall Terry, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all been divorced.
We also know folks who have been victimized by their ex-spouse: abused, cheated on, and treated like dirt. Or, perhaps you dear reader have had a divorce where you weren't at fault and that you didn't choose.
On the other hand, most Christians know very few homosexuals and even less know homosexuals who'd like to get married. The odds of a pastor offending a large tither whose gay and wants to get married is quite small.
To say our current divorce rate is a national sin is not to say that all divorcees are to be condemned and treated as despicable outcasts. The church should be compassionate, but even as Christ said, "Go and sin no more," It must be proactive in dealing with divorce.
Divorce must be taught against strongly in the church. The church as a community should be dedicated to helping preserve the marriages of the church. Strengthening the marriages of believers should be considered as important if not more so than evangelism. Children of broken homes often wander spiritually and in many cases fall from faith. Thus, a large church may win 100 converts, but if it produces 40 broken homes in the same year that leads to 100 angry and embittered children, it is not truly building the Kingdom of God.
Also, church discipline should be used when appropriate for those who divorce without just cause and refuse reconciliation efforts. Watching Cornerstone Television, I saw former NFL player and Pastor of Antioch Bible Church Ken Hutcherson. He organized the Mayday for Marriage rally in Washington, DC opposing gay marriage. Call him anything you like, but don't call him a gay-hating hypocrite. Hutcherson said that in the past year, he'd censured five members of the church, including some for ending marriages without just cause.
The structure of most Protestant Churches is anti-authoritarian and the idea of church discipline is scary to most of us as we've heard horror stories about how cults have abused it. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and a biblical use of church discipline could aid in preserving marriages.
Secular Action
The devastating number of divorces is an area where the interests of church and state collide. Studies have shown that divorces lead to economic problems for states and communities, as well as the long term problems that come from children of broken marriages. It's no accident that the richest states are those with the lowest divorce rates.
The fact is that anyone who finds themselves in a bad marriage made a mistake at one time or another. Half the time, their biggest mistake was getting married in the first place. To prevent these bad matches or to help get the marriage off on a better start, marrying couples should be required to undergo several hours of marriage classes and/or marital counseling from a licensed minister or marriage counselor.
Secondly, no-fault divorce laws must be reformed. Marriage is the most important relationship a person has legally, yet it has all the force and effect of a month-to-month lease thanks to no-fault divorce laws. The laws should be reformed so a no-fault divorce can only be obtained if both parties consent. This would also reduce the court costs associated with issues of custody and division of the property as a no-fault divorce could only be obtained if both parties were agreed on it.
Those who believe in gay marriage have pointed to divorce as an argument against those who seek to protect marriage from same sex unions. I reject the argument that one evil prospering requires that we allow another blow to traditional family values. However, preserving the family is about more than one single issue and if we're going to be serious about it, we have to address all the issues that threaten the survival of the Family.
Well,it sounds as though both of you are good parents and only want THE best for your daughter. :-)
Likewise!
Anyway, I think I'm going to follow your earlier suggestion and jump off this thread. It is depressing. So many people have been so badly hurt (physically and emotionally) in their relationships and marriages. I hope that God will heal their hearts and give them happiness and peace.
As you know,I pretty blunt and say what I mean. :-)
Yuk.
Glad that's over for you.
Heading to bed.
Have a good rest.
Actually,it got VERY idiotic quite a way back!
Perhaps a statement that leads to the resolution? ; )
No good can come of threads like these.
And why these little boys,who hate women (even though they claim to LOVE women),are oh soooooooooooo rigid in their belief that death is far better than the "sin" of divorce,I'll never know.
You are,of course,absolutely correct.
"Evidently, then, you have found a lie in the Bible. The Bible says: Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
So, people who develop paranoid schizophrenia were trained up in it? Same with depression? OCD?
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
LOL
WRONG..........I faced reality more than 16 years ago when I walked out on the abusive SOB. And it was perfectly moral and perfectly right for me to do so.
You don't have to like what I did - but you are not God and are in no position to judge me or my decisions.
I was not in violation of netiquette rules when posting to exnavychick......she asked a question about a post I had made to both of you. I answered her question.
I have to commute now, and will be OOC. Before I dash:
"I just don't like seeing it turn personal."
It was your clique that turned it personal.
"I don't presume to know better than God."
You do presume to know better than what He has told us.
"If what my little "clique" (as you call it) was making you want to puke, maybe you could just think it was because you disagree?"
No. However, your clique was engaging in a great deal of personal abuse just because they disagreed with people. I might note that, since I don't have a dog in that fight, I think my opinion of their conduct somewhat objective.
"It was expressing a viewpoint that you didn't agree with."
It was expressing abuse of other posters.
"but I feel you have been far nastier to me than I have been to anyone on this thread."
I don't think so at all.
"You, on the other hand, seem to be quite happy to offend me."
I only posted what I did because the behavior of your clique offended me.
By the way, when do you plan to take issue with the people on your side of the question for terms like "Bible thumper" and "idiotic?"
The only forgiveness I asked for from God was for not having left the abusive SOB I was married to years before I did.
No, I certainly am not.
You have FReepmail, sir.
YUP!!!!
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