FReeper Canteen ~ Camp Run-A-Muk! ~ Last Minute Gifts! ~ WooHoo! ~ Friday, December 17, 2004

My "VOICES", "kitty-katz", the Canteen Crew, and FRiends of the Canteen

[tomkow6]

 

 

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

 

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wake up!..............I got some MORE ideas.......why?......cause we gotta....huh?....I wanna sleep....no, GET UP!....we gonna go shoppin' AGAIN??.....
....YES!......I found alotta more neet gifts!....put a sock in it.....SHUT UP!... .....let's go shoppin'!....I WANNA SLEEP......get yer butt outta bed........wake me when it's over....

MORE

EXCITING Holiday GIFTS!

Welcome to  Camp RUN-A-MUK!

 
Where the Plan Of the Day is: Mirth...Merriment...and FUN!
Kick back! Relax! Tell a joke or two! Have a brew !

The BAR is OPEN!

We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul!

Welcome to the ULTIMATE Shopping guide, part 2!

Lady Jag once said, "Love is a battlefield." And she couldn't be more right.

It's a tough world out there... between dating, and work, and dating, and errands, and dating... life can eat you alive. To compete in the real world, you gotta be equipped. 

And that's where the Miss Army Knife comes in.

It's a complete field artillery kit that looks like an innocent Swiss Army Knife. But it contains everything you need to survive rough terrain or rough dates.

 The Miss Army Knife opens every which way and includes the following indispensable tools...

flashlight..perfume bottle..keychain..bottle opener..needle & thread..screwdriver..safety pin..scissors..corkscrew..ruler..mirror..nail file..pen..pill box..tweezers  knife

 

It's brilliantly designed and built to last. The uses are endless -- use the knife to carve your lover's initials on a fence post. Use the nail file to file it away once you dump him. Use the perfume bottle to attract a replacement. Use the flashlight to show him the door when you dump him. About the only thing you can't do with it is use the needle & thread to mend your broken heart.

The Miss Army Knife makes a wonderful and thoughtful gift, which makes us wonder what it's doing at Camp Run-A-Muk!

MR. MOUTHYMOUTH
Finger Puppet

This rubber finger puppet is so darn repulsive we just had to sell it.

It's made of flesh-like rubber, with a huge teeth, a flexible tongue, and eyeballs that seem to dangle on strands of exposed flesh.

Because it's so flexible, you can make all sorts of disgusting faces with it. It's more fun that a barrel of mucus!

HALF HAMSTER / HALF GODZILLA
IT'S THE SINGING AND DANCING
HAMZILLA!

Run! Flee! Beat it!

It's Hamzilla!

Dancing Hamsters have reached a new level of stupidity with this marvel.

It's a little stuffed hamster dressed in a Godzilla costume. That's right... a hamster in a monster costume. It doesn't get much stupider than this.

But there's more... When you press his Godzilla foot, he sings and dances a pretty heavy rock song. You probably won't my "voices", but here are the lyrics...

He picks up a bus
And he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings
Toward the center of town.

Oh, no. They say he's got to go.
Hamzilla!
Oh, no. There goes Tokyo.
Hamzilla!

As he dances, the eyes on the Godzilla costume light up.  He wears a shirt that reads "I Love Tokyo." As a final touch, the ferocious Hamzilla waves a city bus in his right hand and a ripped-out phone booth in his left hand.

If you know what's good for you, you'll buy a Hamzilla. You don't want to make him mad.

It's a well-known fact that hamsters are the most punctual creatures in the animal kingdom. Before clocks and watches were invented, people used to strap hamsters on their wrists to tell the time of day. It was not uncommon to hear passersby say, "Look at the time -- It's half past hamster!" Switzerland became famous for watches -- not because they were brilliant engineers -- but because their indigenous hamsters were exceptionally accurate timekeepers. 

So you can see why Camp Run-A-Muk is so excited to offer this incredible Hamster Clock for your consideration. It's by far  the most remarkable clock we have ever seen.

The colorful Hamster Clock features a furry, mechanical hamster inside of a hamster exercise wheel. Once every minute, THE HAMSTER RUNS and the hamster wheel goes around one revolution. The wheel is connected to an intricate series of 12 gears -- So when the hamster wheel goes around, it makes the clock's minute hand move 1-minute forward.

But we've save the most astounding fact for last -- the entire clock is DRIVEN BY THE HAMSTER. The timing mechanism is INSIDE THE HAMSTER itself. Each minute, when it starts to run, it forces the wheel around, setting the clock in motion. 

It must have taken a lot of engineering to get everything exactly right, but the clock works perfectly. The only drawback is that when the clock starts spinning each minute, it is kind of noisy. But what can you expect -- you have a running hamster robot, 12 gears, and a spinning exercise wheel -- it's gonna make some noise. 

How does the word in the box make you feel? 

 LIBERAL 

If the very mention of liberals makes you scream in frustration and pull the hair out of your head, then this punching bag might save your sanity, if not your very life.

That's right, my conservative cronie. Stop banging your head against the wall. Relief is here. The John Kerry Punching Bag is ready and willing to absorb all your pent up righteous right-wing rage. 

The John Kerry Bop Bag stands a mighty 46 inches tall with a sand-filled base so he pops back up after you bop 'em. A politician has to be thick-skinned, the Kerry Bop Bag is made of durable vinyl. As a finishing touch,  Kerry sports a pair of 3-D Boxing Gloves that squeak when you slug them. 

Of course, my "voices" don't encourage any real violence against our capable candidates. That's what great about the bop bag, no one gets hurt, and you feel a whole lot better!

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN PUPPY

Some people are not bothered by anything. No matter how serious the problem, they always look at the bright side. And if they get stuck with lemons, they make lemonade. In some places, these people are known as optimists. Around here, they're known as annoying.

And we suppose this toy can be considered annoying as well. It's a little stuffed puppy who refuses to let a rain storm dampen his spirits. When you press his paw, "Singin' In The Rain" plays and the pooch swings his umbrella from side to side.

The Singin' In The Rain Puppy is nicely executed. The pup wears a full set of rain gear, complete with coat, hat, and galoshes. The song that plays goes on for a long time and, thought we don't think it's Gene Kelly, it's a pretty good imitation.

When you think about it, the Singin' In The Rain Puppy teaches all of us a valuable lesson: Whenever storm clouds try to rain on your parade, just lift your head and sing! And when the men in white come to take you away, just tell them the singing rain puppy told you to do it!

FREE, with the purchase a 1-year subscription to
BURKA OF THE MONTH CLUB!

It starts innocently enough... You find a little kitten on your doorstep and "rescue" it. Then, somehow, another cat comes along, and you take that one in, too. Then another. And another. Before long, you look in the mirror and... OH MY GOD!!! You're a Crazy Cat Lady!!!!

If this doesn't describe you, then you surely know someone who does fit this frightening scenario. 

The people who designed The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure certainly must know such a person. Because this bizarre toy captures the Cat Lady Phenomenon to a "T"!

There she stands -- ratty bathrobe, checked pajama bottoms, headband, wild hair, and a fanatical look on her face. And she's surrounded by six cats that own her heart and soul.

The Crazy Cat Lady stands 5-1/4" tall and can be posed however you like.

Yes, you may be tempted to laugh at the Crazy Cat Lady. But, be warned, one day that Cat Lady may be yourself.

No cats, puppies, hamsters, or my "voices" were harmed in the creation of this opening!  Nor was Santa Claus!
Kerry got the crap beat out of him, but me or my "voices" had only a tiny bit to do with that.....

 

[tomkow6]

Blue Collar Christmas

[darkwing104]

Have you considered Burkas?

And give up my cape?...Never!
I am begining to worry about you...are you getting enough sunlight. Too much time away from the beach isn't healthy

[uncleshag]

Music for the Canteen
Just for acad1228's Secretary!
Troops! U.S.A. Cares!

The Twelve Pains of Christmas
Bob Rivers

Disclaimer: If you are not amused at this tune your humbugger may need tightening.
NOTE: Opening this cabinet may revoke any and all all warranties!

[uncleshag]

Ran outta dog pictures?
Dagnabbit!
Well, I guess you had to post something!


hehehe

[StarCMC]

HAMZILLA???? Too funny!!!

[tomkow6]

..........all I could find to post was that picture of Orvile Right!

[tomkow6]

Good morning, Star!

[uncleshag]

Praying now and Uncleshag's family is adding SSG Michael Webb and the families of these 3 American Heroes to our evening prayer list. We always hate to hear this kind of news, but we do so much appreciate the information.

[uncleshag]

Good Morning, Star!

Sleep well?

[aomagrat]

Today's classic warship, USS John M. Bermingham (DE-530)

Evarts class destroyer escort

Displacement. 1,140
Lenght. 289'5"
Beam. 35'1"
Draft. 8'3"
Speed. 21 k.
Complement. 156
Armament. 3 3", 4 1.1", 9 20mm., 2 dct., 8 dcp., 1 dcp.

USS John M. Bermingham (DE-530) was laid down by Boston Navy Yard 14 October 1943; launched 17 November 1943; sponsored by Mrs. J. M. Bermingham, widow of Lt. Comdr. Bermingham; and commissioned 8 April 1944; Lt. M. Beerman in command.

The new destroyer escort conducted shakedown off Bermuda and arrived Charleston 9 June to begin her vital convoy escort duty. Departing 14 June, she escorted the ships to the English Channel; and, after steaming to Belfast 23 July, she returned to Boston 2 August 1944. She then underwent further training in Casco Bay before arriving New York 28 August to join an unusual convoy.

John M. Bermingham sailed 19 September with other escort vessels to convoy a large group of Army tugs and barges for use in the important captured ports of northern France. During the arduous crossing, rough weather claimed several tugs and many of the vitally-needed harbor barges. Only a heroic effort on the part of escorting ships brought the remainder of the convoy to safety at Plymouth 20 October. After a week of searching for straggling barges, the ship joined a return convoy and arrived New York 21 November.

After training, John M. Bermingham was assigned to regular convoy runs between American ports and Oran, Algeria, in support of the giant land offensive underway in Europe. She made three voyages to Oran in the month that followed, arriving New York 29 May 1945. Her mission in Europe completed with the fall of the Axis, the ship arrived Miami, Fla., 20 July for duty as a school ship at the Naval Training Center.

John M. Bermingham sailed to Charleston after V-J Day, arrived 9 September, and decommissioned 12 October. She was scrapped in March 1946.

---

John Michael Bermingham was born in New York City 5 July 1905 and graduated from the Naval Academy in 1929. During the 1930's he served in many ships, including Wyoming, Utah, and Augusta, and at various shore stations. In 1940 he was assigned as Executive Officer of destroyer Stewart and at the outbreak of the war in the Pacific was second in command of the four-piper Peary. During the first Japanese attack on Cavite 10 December, Peary's commanding officer was wounded and Lt. Comdr. Bermingham took command. The ship was assigned to offshore patrol and came under heavy air attack many times in the days to come. Only brilliant seamanship during bombing and torpedo attacks 26 and 27 December saved her from destruction. Despite the Japanese air superiority, Bermingham succeeded in bringing his ship to Darwin, Australia, to operate with allied forces attempting to hold Malay Barrier. Peary operated with cruiser Houston in February, and was anchored at Darwin when the Japanese attacked with bombers 19 February 1942. Bermingham got his ship underway and attempted to maneuver in the restricted waters; but, despite valiant antiaircraft fire, his ship was hit with five bombs. Lt. Comdr. Bermingham and about 80 of his crew went down with the ship. He was posthumously awarded the Navy Cross for his courage and leadership while commanding Peary during this crucial early period of the war.

[mylife]

Good morning Tom

[mylife]

Prayers Up

Are we still cleaning out that rats nest?

[StarCMC]

BOYER, TERRY LEE

Name: Terry Lee Boyer
Rank/Branch: O2/United States Air Force
Unit: 497th TFS
Date of Birth: 22 September 1938
Home City of Record: Visalia CA
Date of Loss: 17 December 1967
Country of Loss: North Vietnam
Loss Coordinates: 211700 North  1051500 East
Status (in 1973): Returnee
Category:
Aircraft/Vehicle/Ground: F4D
Missions: 40
Other Personnel in Incident: Kenneth Fleenor, returnee

Source: Compiled by P.O.W. NETWORK from one or more of the following: raw
data from U.S. Government agency sources, correspondence with POW/MIA
families, published sources, interviews.

REMARKS: 730314 RELEASED BY DRV

SOURCE: WE CAME HOME  copyright 1977
Captain and Mrs. Frederic A Wyatt (USNR Ret), Barbara Powers Wyatt, Editor
P.O.W. Publications, 10250 Moorpark St., Toluca Lake, CA 91602
Text is reproduced as found in the original publication (including date and
spelling errors).
UPDATE - 09/95 by the P.O.W. NETWORK, Skidmore, MO

TERRY LEE BOYER
Captain- United States Air Force
Shot Down: December 17, 1967
Released: March 14, 1973

Captain Boyer was born in Los Angeles and moved with his family to Visalia
where he attended schools through high school. Following a four-year tour of
duty in the U.S. Submarine Services, Captain Boyer attended the College of
the Sequoias and Fresno State College where he graduated with a degree in
Business Administration. In 1965 he entered the Air Force, was commissioned
a Second Lieutenant and proceeded to pilot training in both Arizona and
California. In October of 1967 he was assigned to fly F-4 combat missions in
Viet Nam. Captain Boyer was shot down and captured in December, 1967.

"I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, the American people,
for what you have been to me during my imprisonment: a source of courage.
The love, honor, and gifts you have bestowed upon me since my return have
meant a good deal to me. I have yet to determine in my own mind what I have
done that is deserving of this consideration.

"For some reason, you people insist on calling me a hero. I would like to
say that I am not the hero- you, the American people, are the heroes. You
have made the United States what it is, and I thank you for it.

"I have made this statement time and again during my speaking engagements
and I would like to make it again to you now.

"We were not a hand-picked group of Americans sent to prison cells in Hanoi.
No, we were just average American citizens like you and your neighbors. But,
by the grace of God, you could have been sitting in that prison cell instead
of me. I know that had you been there, you would have felt and acted as we
did. We did not want to conduct ourselves in any manner that would be
unworthy of the love and respect you have always bestowed upon us, your
military men.

"It is this love and respect that makes Americans the wonderful people they
are. It is this love and respect that has enabled the American people to
build the greatest nation in the world.

"I was indeed very fortunate to have been able to serve and represent a
nation of people such as you, my beloved Americans. My heartfelt thanks go
out to each and every one of you. May I never conduct myself in a manner
that would reflect in discredit upon the American people."

November 1996
Terry Boyer retired from the United States Air Force as a Lt. Colonel. He
and his wife Vicki reside in California.

Note from Star:  These guys rarely see themselves as heroes, just as the MOH 
recipients don't see themselves as heroes, but they ARE my heroes!  God bless
them all!!

[StarCMC]

Prayers for SSG Webb and the families of the fallen.

[txradioguy]

Your Family Might Be Hooah If...

~Your newborn must attend Rip within the first 30 days of life...
~Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam...
~Your children clear housing before going to college...
~You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in you floorboard as part of a routine tune-up...
~Your station wagon is equipped with blackout lights...
~Your kids volunteer to pull air guard on the school bus...
~Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
~You give the command "Fix bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner...
~Your kids show their meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on seperate rations...
~You make your daughter sign out on Prom Night...
~You refer to your spouse affectionately as "the wifely unit."
~Your wife conducts an AAR hotwash after sex...
~Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "phase three recycle."
~Your kids get an LES for their allowance...
~You threaten to punish your spouse for having dinner too late by reducing her to "Wife First Class."
~Your kids recite their ABC's phonetically...
~Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command" ceramony...
~Your dog's name is "Ranger."
~Your son's name is "Ranger."
~All your possessions are military issue...
~Your kids fashion silly putty to look like Claymores and put them at the perimeter of the backyard...
~your newborn's first words were "all OK Jumpmaster."

[Valin]

I have new windows!
LIFE..IS..GOOD

[txradioguy]

Yes we are still cleaning it up. SSG Webb described it to me a couple weeks ago as "the wild west".

We've got the place secured...but it will take some time still to mop up what's left of the insurgency.

[StarCMC]

Good morning OH SILLY ONE!

This is for you!

[uncleshag]

You know, we all have problems. Not everyone is instantly happy at Christmas, Hannakuh, whatever else... Sometimes one just gets the blues over little things.

Music for Bummed out Shoppers!
Tunes for the Canteen Crew
A Great Gift Idea is a Relient K CD!
HEY! Troops! AMERICA Cares!

I Hate Christmas Parties
Relient K

[Lady Jag]