What Are You, On Drugs?

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 12/8/4 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

With so many Americans popping prescription meds, who needs nature and sex and exercise?

The odds are very good that you are on drugs.

Right now. This minute. As I type this and as you read this and as false Texas dictators rise and sad empires crumble and as this mad bewildered world spins in its frantically careening orbit, there's a nearly 50/50 chance that some sort of devious synthetic chemical manufactured by some massive and largely heartless corporation is coursing through your bloodstream and humping your brain stem and molesting your karma and kicking the crap out of your libido and chattering the teeth of your very bones.

Maybe it's regulating your blood pressure. Maybe it's keeping your cholesterol in check. Maybe it's helping you sleep. Maybe it's helping you wake the hell up. Maybe it's opening your bronchial tubes. Maybe it's brightening your terminally bleak outlook.

Maybe it's adjusting your hormone levels or controlling your urge to weep every minute or relaxing the blood vessels in your penis or cranking the serotonin to your brain or pumping carefully measured slugs of alprazolam or fluoxetine or sertraline or atorvastatin or esomeprazole or buspirone or venlafaxine or any number of substances with Latin-rooted jawbreaker names through your flesh in a bizarre dance of miraculous vaguely disturbing death-defying scientific wonder.

Forty-four percent of all Americans. That's the latest number. Almost half us are popping at least one prescription drug and fully one in six are popping three or more, and the numbers are only increasing and this of course doesn't count alcohol or cigarettes or bad porn and it doesn't count the mad megadoses of jingoistic flag-waving God-slappin' fear -- which is, as evidenced by the last election, . . . .

[day10]

Due to the thread title I just could not resist:

Mr. Hand

[redhead]

"Moderation in all things. Allergies and asthma both have increased way beyond what can be attributable to missed diagnoses. The current theory about why this is happening is because we shelter our kids from germs and dirt so much, their immune systems have nothing to do and begin attacking food particles etc. We need our medications, but we need nature too."

LOL! What you said...

Allow me to point you to an article I wrote a couple of years ago on this very subject.

[ArrogantBustard]

Love your tagline ... John Cusack in what is, by far, his best role ... and one of the most hilarious (and least known) comedies ever.

I want my two dollars!

[GeekDejure]

What Are You, On Drugs?
=====
Who Are You, To Ask?

[ez]

9 out 10 starving, parasite-ridden hunter/gatherers wouldn't agree with you.

Morford thinks the natural state is a peaceful nirvana with "natural rhythms and and sustainability." He would be shocked to land in the natural state where every day would be a struggle to find and keep food and he would have to fight and kill the people who were agaist him.

The man does not understand real human nature...

[Nataku X]

Good article... we need to figure a way to get children to actually play outside, too... seems almost impossible to give children a normal childhood with all the perverts, lawyers, and zealous CPS'ers out there now.

[LexBaird]

What are you, asking me?

It should either be, "What? Are you on drugs?" or "What are you on, drugs?" Morford needs a better editor, preferably one that will cut him off at two sentences.

[Moleman]

"What are you people...on dope?"

~Mr. Hand

[Skylos]

ROFL

[AZ_Cowboy]

44% of all Americans on drugs? Well, hot diggity, that almost explains that 48% that went for Kerry. I imagine the other 6% can be written off as the natural percentage of mentally defective, as dictated by the Bell Curve model.

Do you think the title of that column happened to be what the editor said to the fellow when he turned that thing in?

[The Loan Arranger]

What is this guy, the gay Hunter Thompson?

[Angry Republican]

Is it ever not Bush's fault?

[William Terrell]

. . .or relaxing the blood vessels in your penis. . .

What? So you don't have an erection? Who the hell take a drugs like this? Feminists?

[Angry Republican]

"Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?"
"The only thing I know how to have any fun doing. Trying to take over the world!"

[stockpirate]

What a wonderful article.......I love to read the crap and how bad this guys "feels" after his side lost.....

[valkyrieanne]

I *hate* it when liberal writers use the editorial "we," like "Forty-four percent of us are ..." yadda yadda. It's just too *cozy* - especially if you're *not* in the Victim Group of the Week.

[gonzo]

"...After a week of HGTV instead of O'Reilly and Hannity & Colmes, my BP dropped 20 points!..."

Me too, Miss Marple. I just watch the ads on Brit Humes' show to see if there's anything interesting on the 'O' or H&C. Otherwise, it's the Wings Channel and FR.............FRegards

[expatguy]

LOL

[Bob Ireland]

What an utter non-sequeter... in this creep's fevered mind there are more associations than even Sigmund could keep up with.

Thank God these idiots are unravelling!

[OBTW: has it become mandatory to take Rx drugs now?]

[bd476]

from the article: "...as false Texas dictators rise"

That's pure unadulterated libel.