Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Seinfeld and Co. ruined my life
BGNews ^ | 12/2/04 | George Valko

Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1

I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!

It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."

Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.

Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.

Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."

There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.

If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.

He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.

All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.

This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.

Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.

However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.

No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.

He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.

As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.

And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.

Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!

What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?

From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.

And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.

Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."

The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.

Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News
KEYWORDS: bullwinkle; genx; getalife; seinfeld
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 161-180181-200201-220 ... 261-278 next last
To: Quinotto
What I was wondering was what about a "Master of my domain" competition for the FReepers?

I'm out....

181 posted on 12/03/2004 9:05:54 PM PST by Libertarian444
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 179 | View Replies]

To: not2worry

Those are great skits. I also love the Consumer Report skits with Akroyd and Bergen. Bag O' Glass; what a riot!


182 posted on 12/03/2004 9:06:16 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Half a league, half a league rode the MSM into the valley of obscurity)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 171 | View Replies]

To: Quinotto
What I was wondering was what about a "Master of my domain" competition for the FReepers?

I'm out.

183 posted on 12/03/2004 9:07:44 PM PST by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 179 | View Replies]

Comment #184 Removed by Moderator

To: Hank Rearden

HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the info (and the mental image) :D


185 posted on 12/03/2004 9:08:38 PM PST by Quinotto (On matters of style,swim with the current,on matters of principle stand like a rock-Thomas Jefferson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 183 | View Replies]

To: Hank Rearden

Not that there is anything wrong with that!


186 posted on 12/03/2004 9:10:13 PM PST by KTpig
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 183 | View Replies]

To: kizzdogg
I've always loved Seinfeld. But of all the family that I didn't have living in New York, I don't think any of them liked it. I always thought it was more of a New York thing.

Never been to New York. Loved Seinfeld. Funniest show ever.

187 posted on 12/03/2004 9:12:01 PM PST by wi jd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Quinotto
What I was wondering was what about a "Master of my domain" competition for the FReepers?

But do we all feel comfortable within the confines of the "honor system"?

188 posted on 12/03/2004 9:13:13 PM PST by wi jd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 179 | View Replies]

To: qam1
Do You really want to improve your life?......

I mean really improve it??...

Then get rid of your TV.

They don't call it hellivision for nothing....or the BOOB TUBE.

I could never understand why anyone would watch a program or movie more than once.

Get away from TV and read a good self improvement book and you will see a major difference in your life.

Seinfeld will do nothing for you.

189 posted on 12/03/2004 9:27:13 PM PST by Radioactive
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BlazingArizona
The Seinfeld characters were the overwrought blue-state urbanites we can all look down on.

I thought it was 'relate to'. Oops!

190 posted on 12/03/2004 9:28:02 PM PST by Lijahsbubbe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 150 | View Replies]

To: Radioactive
Seinfeld will do nothing for you

Don't you like to laugh? Laughing is the best!

191 posted on 12/03/2004 9:29:11 PM PST by Lijahsbubbe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 189 | View Replies]

To: Lijahsbubbe
Don't you like to laugh? Laughing is the best!

Yes I do like to laugh...but Seinfeld is not funny.

I could not stand to watch it...it just was not funny.

I still say that spending any part of your life watching TV is such a waste .

Life is too short to watch TV.

192 posted on 12/03/2004 9:33:05 PM PST by Radioactive
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 191 | View Replies]

To: Radioactive
Get away from TV and read a good self improvement book and you will see a major difference in your life.

Apparently, it makes you grouchy as hell.

193 posted on 12/03/2004 9:41:36 PM PST by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 189 | View Replies]

To: sully777

http://seinfeldscripts.com/TheSerenityNow.htm


194 posted on 12/03/2004 9:45:35 PM PST by sully777 (Our descendants will be enslaved by political expediency and expenditure)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 173 | View Replies]

To: qam1

I think Jerry was hiding something. He would always go dates with these beautiful women, but never for more than a few days at a time.


195 posted on 12/03/2004 9:50:46 PM PST by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kirkwood

He took It out.

It?

It.

Out?

Out.


196 posted on 12/03/2004 9:51:23 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs (Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 136 | View Replies]

To: Hank Rearden
Did I post with a Grouch HTML code?
197 posted on 12/03/2004 10:10:34 PM PST by Radioactive
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 193 | View Replies]

To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
He took It out.

It?

It.

Out?

Out.

What in the world are you talking about??? I have no idea what this refers to.
198 posted on 12/03/2004 10:22:33 PM PST by Kirkwood
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 196 | View Replies]

To: Fester Chugabrew

I think its a NY thing. I never thought it was funny in the least, and I found the characters extremely annoying. I only ever caught the show by accident or by duress (being with someone who forced me to sit through it with them) so I don't know the entire storyline, but they all seemed like bitchy, whiny, shallow, disloyal, dishonest, petty and selfish azzsholes. I need to empathize with at least one character to get into a show- I felt nothing but revulsion for any of these characters.


199 posted on 12/03/2004 10:24:17 PM PST by puppetz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Luddite Patent Counsel; Clemenza
As long as you're not even a little Newman, you're probably O.K.

Or Kenny Banya :)

200 posted on 12/03/2004 10:37:26 PM PST by valleygal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 161-180181-200201-220 ... 261-278 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson