Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
Clever doctoring of a photo. Trying to make a point by deception?
No soup for you.
Well, if so, he failed in his attempt at humor with me. The dry reading didn't show even one drip of satire in my opinion.
But it bored me enough to maybe ignore it. I could have easily have written the same drivel based on Star Trek, Starsky and Hutch, or even H.R. Puffnstuff.
LOL, was that the same "weekend away" with the friends with the ugly baby?
I don't know what was the greatest show ever. I did like Andy Griffith in the B/W days. When it was in color, it wasn't as good.
Elaine " I don't know how you guys walk around with those things "
Something to that effect.
That was just my take. Did you find the show funny? This might have something to do with it. I don't think there is a real website.
I thought so too, and that's why I loved them. The Seinfeld characters were the overwrought blue-state urbanites we can all look down on.
The sea was angry that day my friends... like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
No googling - promise!
Fatale
I saw the picture posted on 112 of this thread the other day, that was my first thought, man hands.
They're real baybee - and they're spectacular.
I started watching in about the 5th year or so. Hilarious even coming from an insane Larry David.
http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheStrike.htm
Seinfeld is funny, sometimes years later when you meet similar characters or situations. I've met women that look ugly and beautiful in different situations. I've collected 12 Subway stamps to get a crappy free 6" sub (w/ the purchase of a drink and chips). And I celebrate the joys of Festivus Day. Perhaps one of the best episodes in Sitcom history was on Seinfeld that had all the elements mentioned.
The Andy Griffith Show
Dick Van Dyke
The Odd Couple
The Danny Thomas Show
And a few others. In that order. Those were the best.
One time Boris Badenov was undercover as a lion tamer, under the name "Claude Badly". I didn't think anything of it until about halfway through the episode when it suddenly hit me, and I about fell out of my chair.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
He's the perfect curmudgeon.
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