Posted on 12/03/2004 6:38:40 PM PST by qam1
I look around me everyday and I see beautiful women. It could be very tempting to go out and date them. Going out every weekend to the clubs and picking up an assortment of chicks like so many kinds of chocolates in a Valentine's Day gift. But I will not!
It has taken me years, but I am finally getting over the lasting effects of "Seinfeld."
Yes, "Seinfeld." What is considered the greatest show/sitcom of all time has also been the biggest plague/curse on my life.
Students currently attending the University are part of the "Seinfeld" generation. Society has branded us "Generation X," and that might be so, but within the all encompassing "Generation X" lies a subset of post-pubescent adultlings.
Growing up, we "Seinfeldites" would come to learn of the adult world through the dark shadow that is "Seinfeld."
There are two role models for men in "Seinfeld" -- Jerry and George.
If you could have your pick, Jerry is the obvious choice.
He has lots of money, travels all the time; his crazy friends get into all kinds of amusing trouble, and he meets women faster than a shirtless Colin Farrell at a sorority house holding DVD box sets of Friends and the most recent "embattled woman fights for her rights" Julia Roberts movie.
All I am saying is that he was getting laid, constantly. He was getting the fine booty that all men crave.
This left an indelible impression on a young man. This, I assumed, was the fate of all halfway decent looking men.
Life would be like an RPG in which you find the best women you can at the time, until someone better comes along. Then you level up. The goal of the game is to get the level up as much as possible while using the least amount of continues.
However, Jerry was not the only character that has influenced our nation's youth. George Costanza or "Can't Stanz Ya" depending on your pronunciation, has left the best minds of our time with serious mental diseases and complexes.
No matter how slick you think you are, enough Costanza in your life will cause you to doubt yourself and all you believe in. George was obviously the most despicable and interesting character on the show.
He would lie his way into sex, jobs, marriage, out of marriage, fake disability, race old people in 9-volt scooters, take naps under his desk, have sex with cleaning ladies in his office and was the cheapest bastard on the face of the earth.
As awful a person as he might seem on the surface, there is a little George Costanza in all of us.
And the more you watch him, the larger that little Costanza inside you grows, until there is nothing left but a 35-year-old bald man with no job, no prospects and no reason to get up in the morning -- except to read the daily news.
Just think what kind of a result just these characters have on the psyche of children. And these are only two of many sexual deviants and immoral miscreants "Seinfeld" would propagate!
What does a boy learn by watching Elaine or Kramer?
From Elaine you learn that most women have little sense of humor and are only funny when extremely pissed off.
And from Kramer you learn that you can get by in life, with no job and no money just by mooching off the guy across the hall.
Having spent years getting over the mental strain and irregular development caused me by this show, I have filed a class action lawsuit with Jerry Seinfeld and the creators of "Seinfeld."
The suit is being brought now, in part due to the fact that the DVDs were recently released, and I fear that I will have a re-lapse and years of therapy will have been for naught.
Students can get in on this suit by going to www."Seinfeld"_ruined_my_life.com
I especially liked the episode where Kramer was taking dog medicine for a cough. I'm laughing now thinking of it!
The final episode of Seinfeld was excellent precisely because it irritated so many fans. Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine figuratively end up in Hell precisely for being the kind of people they'd been over all the previous episodes.
"You, my friend, have just crossed the line between man and bum."
Uhhh.... no. Gen X is our parents. We are Gen Y. Or something.
Or the "break up" that wouldn't "take."
I've seen every episode a dozen times. I'm watching it now! (Nice game, pretty boy!)
I'm not sure I want to buy it on dvd when I can see it yet for free 6 times a week.
I think that's the point.
I can stand it... I think it's funny.
One of the best episodes involved the deaf female tennis linesman that Jerry picked up. The person that directed the scenes at the restaurant and the party where George's lip-reading plot is hatched and executed should have a statue erected in his honor. The timing and editing of the party scene is incredible.
Rocky and Bullwinkle was great.
I never got into Seinfeld.
I've never wondered about why.
yada yada yada... to each his own!
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you aren't sitting on the Pappy sofa.
It shrinks?
Like a frightened turtle!
Why does it shrink?
It just does!
She has hands? Never noticed.
The other parts keep my attention. Her mind! Yeah, her mind...
The greatest TV show ever....what was it?
When I was a kid, one of the neatest memories I have is of Sunday evening watching the Disney Hour and eating Campbell's soup. (I'm dating myself, here.)
I think Lassie was on before Disney.
But that Disney hour was the kind of stuff that made us dream. I hated to miss it.
We all know that Boris's last name is Badinov.
Can anyone tell me the last name of Natasha?
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