Posted on 12/02/2004 2:40:42 PM PST by swilhelm73
Feb. 14 — On Valentine's Day, what's the very best way to tell someone you love them?
In one of the elegant black-and-white ads run by the DeBeers diamond cartel, a distinguished man announces solemnly: "I love this woman!" But there's a better way to say it, the ad suggests: Give her a diamond. Or a bunch of them. And she'll love you back.
That's what the man in the ad does — and it gets quite a reaction: "Oh, I love this man! I love him, I love him, I love him!" says his lucky lover.
Which makes me ask: Why a diamond? Why not a ruby or an emerald, or what the heck — a tractor, a toaster or a kitten?
Why did diamonds get to be the love and marriage thing? Why do couples — everywhere — who wish to declare their love go out and pay big bucks for diamonds?
Is It Because They’re Rare?
One reason I was given is that diamonds are so scarce.
But Donna Bergenstock, a marketing professor at Muhlenberg College, points out their scarcity is a myth, one created long ago by DeBeers, the South African company that's dug up most of the world's diamonds.
"There are … billions of dollars of diamonds sitting in vaults — in London, in South Africa — that DeBeers specifically keeps off the market in order to artificially raise the price of diamonds," she says.
The supply is so vast that if DeBeers hadn't controlled the world market for decades, diamonds would be much cheaper.
"The diamond is really just a piece of carbon. It's just a rock," says Bergenstock.
The Power of Marketing
So why is this rock a symbol of love? Because DeBeers told us it was.
Since 1940, DeBeers' brilliant ad campaign has been convincing Americans that diamonds mean love.
According to Bob Garfield of Advertising Age magazine, the DeBeers campaign is one of the most effective ad campaigns of all time.
"Unlike most advertising, people just completely bought it," Garfield says. "It created out of whole cloth the notion that at your engagement you must give your intended a diamond."
Years of listening to this propaganda has convinced us that giving diamonds is an age-old tradition.
This is just a sales pitch. In the 1930s, when my parents were married, it wasn't customary for men to give women diamond rings.
It wasn't just ads. DeBeers cleverly lends diamonds to celebrities and movie stars.
The rest of us have to pay for our diamonds — and DeBeers is very specific about how much men should spend. "How else can two months' salary last forever?" the company's ads say.
DeBeers' message is "the bigger the diamond, the more you love her," says Bergenstock.
Are They So Special?
Is it really just a sales pitch, or is there really something special about diamonds, a sparkle that makes them unique?
We tested that idea. We went to Grand Central Station in New York with two rings. One was a piece of cubic zirconia, worth about a dollar. The other was a $10,000 diamond.
I asked people which they liked more.
Most people could not tell the difference. Of dozens of people we asked, nearly half picked the cubic zirconia.
Yet women told us, even if they had preferred the look of the imitation, they'd still rather be given the diamond. "It just makes you feel like you're special," said one woman. "I know what I want on my finger, and it has to be the real thing."
We'll spend more for a rock because a South African cartel has run a great ad campaign? Apparently we will.
Give Me a Break!
Now it happens that the producer and editor of this story, and I, are men. So maybe we're missing something. I'm curious what women will say on the message board ….
*Important Diamonds* are rare - the kind most of us purchase are not. *Important Diamonds* are those with a provenance to Royalty or scandal; with a hefty price tag to match.
The kind most of us purchase are not a good investment and certainly aren't important. DeBeers has created an entire culture of diamond giving to support their business. My great Aunt's engagement ring was an Alexanderite - and that was only 60 years ago - and Great Uncle was LOADED!
I have seen a film of a warehouse with literally millions of carats worth of gems DeBeers is hoarding. Diamonds are an artificially priced commodity that should sell, in a free market, for lots less than rubies, emeralds or sapphires.
So beautifully said, and so true.
Actually I prefer amber, garnets, tanzanite and amethyst.
Diamonds just don't do it for me unless they are colored diamonds which are indeed rare and quite out of my price range.
Thank you.
Which fish pond? I have a fake diamond locator !!!
Are you talking about me? LOL ;-)
Whatever. I’m quite happy with my 2 carat platinum setting. Oddly, I get a lot of compliments on it from men. Women glance and act like they didn’t see it. It’s kind of amusing. I also hope it is a conflict diamond. I'm mean too >:)
'Blood Diamonds'
This gal likes pearls and opals. I don't see any big deal about diamonds. If a setting is pretty it would be just as pretty with a CZ. But, I'd still rather have pearls.
Yeah, color is much more interesting! :-)
Pearls are good too. And jade. I adore jade, there is nothing like the silky feel of a good piece of jade.
I like those smooth silky feels too!
And in my even simpler tastes, I really like malachite. Green is my favorite color so jade and malachite are really nice to me.
It is even more lovely because he took the time to find out what I loved and get it for me.
I don't think that's entirely true. There's a lot of below awareness associations going on. What she loves is security.
The fact that you can give her a diamond means you can give her security. The fact that you gave her a diamond means you're hers, so the set of the behaviors that we know as an expression of love is directed at you.
Should you at some time lose all, with some evidence that you will never recover, she will divorce you and the reason given for the divorce will never be the above. She can't be forthcoming with the real reason because it is universally acknowledged to be bad and few will willingly think of themselves, and want others to think of them, as a bad person.
This is not bad. This is nature. It's the driver software that comes with the womb feature. Just as it's the driver software that comes with a man's linear/logical feature the makes him listen to a tearful problem and try to solve it instead of sympathizing with it.
There are exceptions but most of them reside as characters in works of fiction.
I'm sure that if they had done the same experiment with real Rolex watches versus fake Rolex watches, half the people would have said that they liked the fake Rolex watch more. If two items look exactly alike, and you can only compare the two items by looking at them, why should anybody be surprised that about 50% of the people would like one item and the other 50% would like the other item.
I'd like to think that a Jewish diamond merchant made money off of my purchase, and then gave part of the proceeds to Israel so they could kill members of the intifada. That's my contribution to whirled peas.
I inherited a 3 carat marquis cut diamond solitaire ring from my MIL, it's really beautiful, but there's almost nowhere to wear it...not church, or work, going out casually...I never saw her wear it either...
I'm going to give it to my DIL for her 25th anniversary, in 11 years.
I also inherited a 18" strand of real pearls from my mother...Daddy gave them to me when she died, shortly before I had my first child...he said, "Mom wanted you to have these," and we both cried...those I will give to my daughter someday.
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