Posted on 11/29/2004 1:59:05 PM PST by Clive
My fella and I were going out of town. He was driving his "super reliable" car into which he pours nothing less than premium gas and synthetic oil and which, incidentally, is so much better and safer than my car that the two can never even be compared.
To boot, his car just got a tune-up and that became the launching point for a lecture about car maintenance habits and how I do not have any.
He should know. He's been working on my car all weekend. So blah, blah, I never check my oil (I forget), my tire pressure (um, my tire pressure measuring stick is broken), my radiator fluid (as if I even know where my radiator fluid is ...) and so on and so forth.
In fact, my car is in such shoddy shape, I should not even drive it anymore. Instead, I should just drive his car (which I'll simply refer to as super reliable from now on) but I have to remember not to start it in second gear because that WRECKS HIS CLUTCH.
In passing, my car-savvy fella mentioned that during his tune-up, the mechanic told him to consider replacing an ignition module or something of that sort. The mechanic, my fella concludes, is probably wrong and there is no problem with the car.
You should listen to the mechanic, I said, using up all the car advice I felt authorized to give. With your luck (he has the worst luck of anyone I know) the car will break down in the middle of a road trip and you'll be stuck there forever.
About 45 minutes later we were sitting on the side of the highway with the hazard lights on waiting for a tow truck.
That's right, Mr. Awesome-car-care-premium-gas-guy was digging around under the hood swearing and, to make matters worse, we gave the tow truck the wrong directions and were stranded for almost two hours at sub-zero temperatures in a car that would not start.
Two hundred bucks later, super reliable was in the shop and is there still, waiting for several hundred bucks worth of parts and labour.
In the meantime, the car's owner is driving my car (the one that does not have enough radiator fluid, the back doors do not open and is, overall, totally unreliable) to work.
Before I point out why this episode confirmed my attitude towards vehicles, consider this.
A couple of years ago I was driving my super junky K-Car along Highway 2.
I was just past Leduc when my tire seemingly exploded.
I pulled over, stupidly, on the left side of the highway and immediately realized I was stuck in the middle of six lanes of whizzing highway traffic.
I got out of the car, examined the tire (yep, it was flat) and pondered what to do next. I decided to walk to Nisku and call someone.
But before the traffic subsided for long enough to cross to the other side of the highway, some guy had already pulled over, put on my spare and asked me out for coffee.
Now I know I should learn how to change a flat and check my air tire pressure, but where's my incentive?
Obviously obsessive car maintenance, synthetic oil and all, does not eliminate breaking down on the side of the road.
Furthermore, if all of a sudden I learned to care about my spark plugs or my air filter, then so many guys would be deprived of the car-related lectures and rescues in which they secretly delight.
Besides, not knowing anything about cars means I generally listen to my mechanic when he says something needs to be fixed.
And let's face it, if it had been me driving ol' super reliable when it broke down, I could have got a ride back to town, and probably coffee, instead of trying not to die from the frost while waiting for the tow truck.
Suckers the second they walk into any shop.
Dear Penthouse Forum...I never thought this would happen to me, but I was driving in my college town the other day and noticed this girl's car had broken down by the side of the road...
...when suddenly a giant alligator from the nearby swamp crawled out and began to...
Also -- it's nearly December. Don't forget to switch to winter air in your tires!!
I swear they all went to the same prep school.
Ex #2 was collecting royalties from some ancestor....
/john
Ping!
I WANT to know and take care of my own car maintenance! I hate more than anything going into an oil-change place and feeling like they're scammin' me.
You think I could change the oil myself on a Bug?
Just check the gage thilly.
Don't know what I'd do without her.....
Muleteam1
agreed
Geez, this woman makes single women look bad!
When I was single I used to routinely change my own oil, brake pads, thermostat, etc. And I'm not a woofer like Helen Thomas - I just like cars :lol:.
LQ
Suppressed masochism, maybe?
you are right. pointless. there is no point.
I never check my oil (I forget)
Patrycja Romanowska:
Someday when you run out of oil while crossing the desert, and you spin a bearing, and get a $5000 bill for a new short block you won't forget anymore...
When I ask to have it spin-balanced, they laugh at me...
Hey!
Florence King got paid big bucks for writing stuff like this most of her adult life.
And I still enjoy enormously reading her stuff from time to time when I feel like being cheered up.
And check your disgronificator for rust!
You know, in high school, some friends of mine actually had a girl convinced that her blinkers weren't working because she was low on "blinker fluid."
Wait. You said when you used to be...
Never mind!
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