Desperate housewives, indeed [Ellen Goodman 'muses' about her favorite show]

The Boston Globe ^ | November 21, 2004 | By Ellen Goodman

[johnny7]

I'M NOT supposed to like "Desperate Housewives." It's either post-feminist or pre-feminist. It's too racy or too retro. It's either an example of the backlash or a product of the cultural collapse. The "DH" steaminess has the American Family Association railing against its sex in the suburbs. The "DH" locker room promo on "Monday Night Football" has the FCC in wardrobe malfunction mode.

[JennysCool]

Yup. You can never go wrong wrapping your story around a good mystery.

[Lokibob]

You didn't mention the mysterious single man who is working as a plumber, but carrys a gun and reports in on the activities of the neighborhood.

Boston Legal is one of the highlights of my TV week. I will always remember the line "I was fired from my last job for doing a half robin hood, I stole from the rich."

[Defendingliberty]

In the future don't put SS as a substitute for Secret Service.....

[rdb3]

Gimme kiss, johnny! Ain't I cute?

[JusPasenThru]

What a f__king bitch.

No offence Johnny, but couldn't you have come up with some slightly better as an analysis. This is pretty crude and IMHO gives Freepers a bad name. There are many more smart ways to tear apart Ms Goodman. What you have here is almost worthy of the DU though.

I dunno, it has the virtue of clarity and brevity, the soul of wit.

[Alouette]

her one son publicly committed suicide about ten years ago, protesting the First Gulf War.

I read her columns in the 70's and 80's, and she was a clueless twit then.

If she had one child and raised him in such a way that he threw away his life in a worthless "protest" then she is not only childless but they are both Darwin candidates.

[Nosterrex]

I've never watched the show, but maybe I should. Perhaps I'd find out why so many women are leaving their husbands and families. I'm a pastor in a conservative denomination, and there isn't a week that goes by that I don't have to deal with a divorce. 90% of the time it is the woman that wants the divorce.
These are middle class white families, too. Rarely is there any spousal abuse, or mistreatment involved. The husbands are usually good providers and good fathers. If there is unfaithfulness involved, it's usually the wife, not the husband.
I know this isn't a scientific study, just 25 years of my experience as a pastor, but I'm baffled by what I see. Maybe "DH" will give me a clue as to why these women find marriage so unbearable. Sorry for venting my frustrations.

[gobucks]

"It may not be a very Christian thought on a Sunday morning, but I can't help but think that Ellen Goodman's mother should *certainly* have had the RU486 pill available to her."

I would change the 'may not be a very Christian' to 'pains me to present, (but I am not really feeling very bright this morning so I will anyway), what is clearly an OVERWHELMING unchristian'.

Gee whiz ... and besides. Ellen's DAD is the issue. Every ELLEN I have met was basically cheated out the main essential required for every girl - A TRUE DAD that protects and makes her feel protected.

[BobS]

I can't make the connection to that show. I think it's all about horny women watching what other horny women do.

[Megben]

Love it too. And I'm shocked that I love it. From the previews and reviews, I expected it to be awful. Just a bunch of sleazy women. Instead, I was hooked from the first episode. While I wouldn't let my kids watch it, the writing is phenomenal and keeps you hooked.

[Einigkeit_Recht_Freiheit]

Right.

[WFTR]

I watched bits and pieces of episodes until they reached the one where Terri Hatcher loses her towel in the front yard. That episode was mildly exciting. I think one of the ladies is very attractive. I'll even admit that some of the plot twists are interesting. However, none of these things have been interesting enough for me to make time to watch this show for several weeks. Personally, I don't think that you'll find that much insight into the problem of women in your congregation leaving their husbands.

If I were you, I'd look to a couple of other problems. The first is that our society no longer seems to hold women accountable for stupid decisions. Women seem to think that unless someone gives them an executive-level job with a personal secretary and a corner office by the time they are 19, they will have such poor self-esteem that they'll just throw themselves at the feet of the nearest stupid man who treats them like dirt. Even if they do get the corner office, they'll claim that they still don't have self-esteem because some men are more interested in them for their appearance than for their corner office. Parents have to start training little girls to realize that they can't go through life turning off their brains and just chasing whatever scum knows how to play games with them.

You seem to be describing women who initially made pretty good choices and then later decided that they wanted to chase the scum. However, I suspect that much of the problem is the same. Too many women want the mystery of what is behind "door #2" and have come to believe that their lives will actually improve when they start chasing that fantasy. We have a society that no longer stigmatizes them for making that foolish and wrong choice.

The other side of the coin is that the average guy has a hard time finding ways to stay interesting. As the world becomes busier and busier, we spend more and more of our time just covering the basics of making a living and keeping up with all the pieces of paper that modern life forces us to chase. As a society, we need to make some reforms to reduce the amount of paper that we all chase. As individuals, men probably need more help in making themselves interesting to partners and prospective partners. Unfortunately, we need to find ways to do this without resorting to things that are completely foolish or superficial.

[1john2 3and4]

Too many women want the mystery of what is behind "door #2"

Sure....men do too. But why is it majority women?
Does "the stigma"...rather, the loss of it, somehow affect women more than men? Why?

men probably need more help in making themselves interesting

That's a thought-provoking idea. I'm sorry if this is too 'off topic'...(I don't watch the show). As you might guess, these issues are rather, ummm, personal, to me. It would be helpful for me to understand this stuff....the why of things, & all that. Thanks, john

[It's me]

I can only tell you what my husband of 23 years and I have come up with.

The women who want a divorce from clearly good men, simply do not have God in their lives. If they did, then God would be first, their husbands second and children third.

It works wonderfully for us. I never knew people married for so long could be so much in love.

[It's me]

That goes for husbands too.

[gaspar]

Pastor: I'm sure that you are aware that the major competition to the early Christian Church were the orgiastic sects with a female priesthood. The Christian fathers believed that womanhood was on the one hand the most faithful of the Christian followers, and on the other its most dangerous antagonists. This dichotomy was also understood by Muhammad, and accounts for the strict rules governing female participation in Islam.

What you are confronted with is a society having too much time on its hands, too few interests, and one bombarded by sexuality and sexual images. If you were a Roman you would be living in a post-Republican epoch (say about the time of Christ) when the glue holding the traditional institutions, including the family, was melting away. Rome could not survive the culture clash; today's Christians must.

[DOGEY]

I cannot decide who is the bigger idiot Ellen or MoDo.
There is a lot to consider.

[GunRunner]

Any additional info on this. Did he really commit suicide in public?