Help lines hear Thanksgiving horror tales

modbee ^ | 11-19-04

[diamond6]

Hilarious, I want more stories.

[Arpege92]

My sister boiled a package of hot dogs for 2 1/2 hours. I had an aunt call me up and ask me how long should she boil corn dogs! Thank goodness there are only 2 really bad cooks in the family.

[AppyPappy]

"No I didn't stuff it before I cooked it. It was already full of stuff when I bought it. "

[tet68]

Hi, my name is Teraysa Heinz Kerry.

On tonight's show, 23 ways to spice up that plebian
Turkey with Ketchup.

[Old Professer]

She should have used a Tom turkey.

[bannie]

My sister thought she was following mom's instructions.

She survived.

[Old Professer]

Did you ever try staring in an oven window slowly growing dim for eight hours?

[AirForceMom]

My ex sister-in-law was hosting the family Thanksgiving for the first time, she was trying to get everything right. My parents turned off the highway a few blocks from their house. They could smell something kinda overpowering. She had a cold at the time and couldn't smell the stuffing and put in 1 and 1/2 bottles of thyme. The turkey was tinged green.

[bannie]

ooo, a projectile.

[LouAvul]

Yes, you can thaw, cook, and then refreeze the cooked turkey. I do it all the time.

[tet68]

Oh it was real alright, had a nice tablecloth, a nice plate
with dressing, potatos, green beens etc.

I don't know how many marines held that turkey leg.

I was always reminded of that Bill Mauldin cartoon
where the photog is telling a dogface," Congratulations
soldier, you are the 2000th GI to pose with that coke,
you may drink it."

[ErnBatavia]

.foodtv.com's Tyler Florence

Is he the one that can't quite pronounce the name of his own show? "FooNiWahWah"

[crazyhorse691]

If you close up the neck hole and drop it in with the body-cavity opening down, it will launch itself several feet in the air.
_______________________________________________________________

Its because of stunts like that that my wife will not let me have one of those turkey fryers. I betcha I could get 10 feet out of that bird. Food is to eat, not play with. Then why did they make potato cannons?

[ClearBlueSky]

One year Thanksgiving was at my cousins. A notoriously ditsy blonde if there ever was one.
She was so proud to have cooked a turkey for the first time!
Unfortunately, we heard a big ' POOF-BOOM' noise.
Upon opening the oven, after checking the house for what it could have been, we found an exploded turkey.
Meat stuck on the oven walls in all directions- bony carcass in pan.
She had PACKED the bird with bread stuffing, but had also not known there was a paper bag inside with the neck, giblets, etc in it. That was jammed in there too.
Result- exploded turkey.
I think we salvaged some of the dark meat from the bottom.
She's never lived it down. lol

[Boazo]

That WKRP is so funny,WOW

[small voice in the wilderness]

The year: 1973. Homemaking 101. Recipe said: Grease and flour bottom and sides of cake pan. It did not specify the INSIDE of pan. True story.

[Old Professer]

There is something terribly wrong with FR's server or these posts when it comes to pictures; I can download this site in 6 seconds after I exit FR: http://cagle.slate.msn.com/politicalcartoons/ but it takes over a minute to load a single picture while in FR.

[Feiny]

Our microwaves first victim was a tick my Dad found on the dog. We watched it explode & giggled like idiots. It was Dads idea so he had to clean it up. It was also his brilliant idea to microwave the turkey that year because my mother was ill. That was the worst turkey ever, but worth all the years of teasing we have gotten out of it.

[delacoert]

Open a pressure cooker before the little bobbing-thingie goes down.

THEN clean the ceiling.

rofl

I did that once myself.