Posted on 11/19/2004 5:24:00 PM PST by LouAvul
..........snip............
Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.
Some past callers stand out.
"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.
Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.
And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.
Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.
"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.
(Excerpt) Read more at modbee.com ...
If you want to have some real fun, drop a frozen turkey in one of those turkey propane-fired deep fryers from about a foot in the air.
My sister did the "You mean you have to remove the gibblets
from the turkey FIRST?". Yep, baked them inside still in
the wrapper.
I remember getting to POSE with a turkey leg on thanksgiving
1967 at a mess hall in Vietnam, it was for the home town
papers, then it was on to the Turkey LOAF.
LOLOLOL!
I think I saw www.foodtv.com's Tyler Florence do that last year, in a Thanksgiving segment. He's due to be released from the burn unit, any day now.
(((:::just kidding:::)))
"Hi, my name is Teraysa Heinz Kerry. What is a turkey, and does it go with foie gras?"
The first time I tried to make mashed potatoes, I didn't know you had to cut the potatoes in pieces. Whole potatoes take a long time to boil. I'm a much better cook now.
Open a pressure cooker before the little bobbing-thingie goes down.
:)
THEN clean the ceiling.
Have no Fear...Carlo is Here... http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1278039/posts
This thread is funnier.
:D
OMG, My husband did just that while we were camping, scalding beef stew flew out 360 degrees.
They didn't let you eat the turkey leg? Was it a real turkey?
It is tough to open a pressured up cooker, that should be a clue not to do it.
I used to help my mother prepare the turkey each year. So, when she could no longer take care of it herself, I was ready to take over. It has been years since I have cooked a turkey but of the dozens I have cooked over the years all have been perfect. I don't understand why everyone thinks cooking a turkey is hard.
It was probably the same one W took to Baghdad last year...
Someone I know bones the turkey before stuffing and cooking. Then it comes to the table looking like a regular turkey and the hostess starts cutting slices right through the whole bird, with each one having stuffing in the middle. One year she tried it while pregnant and collapsed.
What's so complicated about that?
(Better stand waaaay back -- and have a fire extinguisher handy...)
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