Posted on 11/19/2004 5:24:00 PM PST by LouAvul
..........snip............
Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.
Some past callers stand out.
"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.
Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.
And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.
Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.
"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.
(Excerpt) Read more at modbee.com ...
Hilarious, I want more stories.
My sister boiled a package of hot dogs for 2 1/2 hours. I had an aunt call me up and ask me how long should she boil corn dogs! Thank goodness there are only 2 really bad cooks in the family.
"No I didn't stuff it before I cooked it. It was already full of stuff when I bought it. "
Hi, my name is Teraysa Heinz Kerry.
On tonight's show, 23 ways to spice up that plebian
Turkey with Ketchup.
She should have used a Tom turkey.
My sister thought she was following mom's instructions.
She survived.
Did you ever try staring in an oven window slowly growing dim for eight hours?
ooo, a projectile.
Yes, you can thaw, cook, and then refreeze the cooked turkey. I do it all the time.
Oh it was real alright, had a nice tablecloth, a nice plate
with dressing, potatos, green beens etc.
I don't know how many marines held that turkey leg.
I was always reminded of that Bill Mauldin cartoon
where the photog is telling a dogface," Congratulations
soldier, you are the 2000th GI to pose with that coke,
you may drink it."
Is he the one that can't quite pronounce the name of his own show? "FooNiWahWah"
One year Thanksgiving was at my cousins. A notoriously ditsy blonde if there ever was one.
She was so proud to have cooked a turkey for the first time!
Unfortunately, we heard a big ' POOF-BOOM' noise.
Upon opening the oven, after checking the house for what it could have been, we found an exploded turkey.
Meat stuck on the oven walls in all directions- bony carcass in pan.
She had PACKED the bird with bread stuffing, but had also not known there was a paper bag inside with the neck, giblets, etc in it. That was jammed in there too.
Result- exploded turkey.
I think we salvaged some of the dark meat from the bottom.
She's never lived it down. lol
That WKRP is so funny,WOW
The year: 1973. Homemaking 101. Recipe said: Grease and flour bottom and sides of cake pan. It did not specify the INSIDE of pan. True story.
Our microwaves first victim was a tick my Dad found on the dog. We watched it explode & giggled like idiots. It was Dads idea so he had to clean it up. It was also his brilliant idea to microwave the turkey that year because my mother was ill. That was the worst turkey ever, but worth all the years of teasing we have gotten out of it.
THEN clean the ceiling.
rofl
I did that once myself.
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