Posted on 11/17/2004 6:00:12 AM PST by kralcmot
AOL Admits 40% of Subscribers Don't Have Computers
Leading internet provider America Online (AOL) has confirmed a stunning statistic leaked by a dissatisfied employee last week, in documents sold to Fox News for an undisclosed sum.
"Well, I got the disk in the mail, and it said if I wanted to subscribed I should send money to these people," said Carl Lewen, an AOL subscriber in Kentucky who does not own a computer. "It never said anything about having to do anything with the disk. I thought it was kind of like a souvenir."
According to the documents obtained by Fox, AOL became aware as early as 2001 that a substantial portion of its subscribers had no idea what a computer was, much less how to use one.
"The fact that they opted not only to keep these clients, but actually pursue such customers with increasing aggressiveness, bespeaks a serious ethical collapse at AOL," said Wired News analyst Mary Kowshik.
AOL was able to get away with this, apparently, because so many people are unclear as to what the internet is, or what benefits to expect from an online account.
"I kind of thought it was like subscribing to the yellow pages," said Lewen. "We kept getting copies of the phone book, so I thought AOL was doing that. I also wanted the virus protection, because it was flu season."
It is unclear whether any charges will be filed against AOL. The only complaint on record at the Internet Fraud Complaint Center is from a dissatisfied AOL subscriber who grumbled that its vaunted pop-up blocking service failed to counteract her husband's Cialis.
(Excerpt) Read more at watleyreview.com ...
Tom, Tom, Tom .... (tsk, tsk)
please return to the web site and read the disclaimer. it's a spoof. like the onion y'know?
Why not? 40% of Democrats don't have brains...
I know of people billed by MicroSoft on their credit card who never asked for the service and never received even a bill.
ROFLMAO!!!
How friggin dumb can a person be and still remember to breathe!
This actually had me going for a minute...not because I'm an idiot, but because I'm well aware of how many idiots live in this country!
How else can you explain the popularity of reality television or the number of votes John Kerry received?
IDIOTS!
Yes, but AOL is still Internet For Dummies.
You are aware, aren't you, that the site you got this from is a satire site? If not, then believing that 40% of AOL users don't have computers really should have clued you in. This is not news. This is a satire!!!!!
Hey, you could substitute "New York Times" for "Watley Review" in that and it would be just as accurate.
FreeRepublic admits that 25% of its members don't recognize spoofs and sarcasm
Don't feel so bad. Before I was familiar with it, I had to look up Watley Review to realize they were a spoof site along the lines of The Onion. Satire isn't always that easy to spot--especially now that the internet allows anyone with a little HTML knowledge to become a pundit.
"I kind of thought it was like subscribing to the yellow pages," said Lewen. "We kept getting copies of the phone book, so I thought AOL was doing that. I also wanted the virus protection, because it was flu season."
OKay, this is sure my laugh for the day. Hah, Hah.
No way this is accurate. Somebody's trying to pull a fast one...
Unbelievable!!! ...... and I don't mean the part about AOL.
I throw them out except for the ones that come in metal tins. The tins hold spinnerbaits which I label and keep in my soft tacklebox.
I kept looking at the header for "the Onion". Having had an AOL account back in the Paleolithic dialup days, NOTHING would surprise me at all. Nothing.
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