Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Kids are Overrated
No Marriage.com ^ | 11/05/04 | Embittered Young Guy

Posted on 11/05/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by iheartusa

There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster. The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think. However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know: Children are overrated. For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy. They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on. Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject. The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do". Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.

I decided not to have kids or a wife... And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45..... Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality. My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".

I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails. People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.

NoMarriage.com manual will help you determine if you are ready and want to have children in the near future.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: parenthood
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 221-240241-260261-280281-292 next last
To: LPStar
They can choose not to have children. I won't force them.

You make it sound like a person should feel guilty for not having children, which given the situation is very wrong of you.

241 posted on 11/06/2004 3:03:36 AM PST by Paul C. Jesup
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 240 | View Replies]

To: MagnumRancid

I think the tax returns are the most important!


242 posted on 11/06/2004 3:14:14 AM PST by DooDahhhh
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: Aquinasfan
So true!! I have 5 kids and what really ticks me off is

when my baby killer co-workers tell me how grateful

I should be... To which I reply Well looks to me YOU

made YOUR choice now You have to live with it.
243 posted on 11/06/2004 3:18:56 AM PST by fivekid ( Bud The Chud)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: fivekid
my baby killer co-workers tell me how grateful I should be...

That's a switch. Up here in MA, the few people with large families usually hear, "are all those YOUR kids?"

They don't know what joy they're missing. It's tragic really.

244 posted on 11/06/2004 4:24:24 AM PST by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 243 | View Replies]

To: Pacothecat
But before I had children I never knew love could be this huge, this rewarding, this encompassing, this intense.

Welcome to FR.

Yes...those of us with any amount of love in our hearts to begin with grows that love when they have kids. But this guy sounds self-obsessed to the point where even his own children wouldn't interest him. Just my opinion.

245 posted on 11/06/2004 4:46:18 AM PST by Pharmboy (With Republicans like Arlen Specter, we don't need Democrats)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 151 | View Replies]

To: Fudd

"I walked into by home after work yesterday, and was treated like a hero by two small children"

I got the same reaction from my dog.


246 posted on 11/06/2004 5:35:09 AM PST by Mrs Ian Thorpe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: Cogadh na Sith

Just asking.


247 posted on 11/06/2004 9:32:23 AM PST by baseballfanjm
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 234 | View Replies]

Comment #248 Removed by Moderator

To: Dianna
Your attitude bugs me so much, and I'm trying to figure out why.


Perhaps you should address my words, instead of attempting to infer an "attitude." Or at least articulate what you believe the objectionable attitude to be.

(My attitude on the issue is that couple should be fully aware of all the costs and benefits, the potential joys and sorrow of child rearing, and then make a decision that best suits their long-term happiness. And except for the fully informed part, that is what most people do.)
249 posted on 11/06/2004 9:37:11 AM PST by Atlas Sneezed (Your Friendly Freeper Patent Attorney)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 213 | View Replies]

Comment #250 Removed by Moderator

To: Cogadh na Sith
I'm just sick of getting every thing I work for taken from me by ball-busting b*&%es like you.

You know there are plenty of woman bashing sites out there for guys that have problems relating to women. I'm sure they would happily except your venomous spewing of hatred towards woman. This is a conservative website where both men and woman enjoy the exchange of thoughts and ideas. We can disagree, for that is what this site is all about but to attack me for my gender is not exceptable to me. I have never taken anything from you nor has 99% of the women in the world, to blame all women for one or two in your life, and odds are with me here, that no woman on this site has "done you wrong". Bitterness is so predictable and unattractive. I'm sorry your life has not worked out in a way that you wanted but you can not attack me because you no longer have a woman in your life to kick around. Have a nice day.

251 posted on 11/06/2004 12:15:28 PM PST by MontanaBeth (NEVER FORGET)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 233 | View Replies]

To: MontanaBeth
attack me because you no longer have a woman in your life to kick around

No. I defended myself when you accused me of being homosexual.

You went for the nastiest, most dishonorable put-down immediately. It's telling.

252 posted on 11/06/2004 1:16:30 PM PST by Cogadh na Sith (--Scots Gaelic: 'War or Peace'--)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 251 | View Replies]

To: LPStar
I kind of resent this. It's as if you're saying if you don't have kids somehow you're not a productive member of society. Hogwash. Additionally, just because you aren't a biological parent doesn't mean you're not having an impact in the life of a child. What you're saying is a slap in the face to involved aunts, uncles, cousins, big brothers and big sisters. If I go to work everyday to make a living I don't know how in hades I'm freeloading off of anyone.
253 posted on 11/06/2004 3:20:21 PM PST by iheartusa (Searching the Internet far and wide to bring you thought-provoking controversy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 238 | View Replies]

To: xJones

A lot of people don't even realize there is a choice when it comes to having children. Society exerts a strong pressure on people to reproduce and many people succumb to this pressure even though deep down they don't want to be parents, at least that's what a lot of childless by choice people say.

Also, when you don't have kids a lot of people get bent out of shape about it. They assume all kinds of things about you: you're a child-hater, you had a horrifying childhood, you're immature, you're selfish, and so on. People also demand to know why you don't have children, which if you think about it is slightly rude. I've had a lot of that.

I don't have any because I have a serious illness. But I do like kids. It's not a big heartache to me not to be raising any of my own. If I wasn't chronically ill I may not have had kids anyway. I never really had an aching need like some women. I've never felt the "call" to motherhood, if there is such a thing. I would say that the majority of people do not make an informed choice about parenthood. About half of all children are not planned.


254 posted on 11/06/2004 4:13:10 PM PST by iheartusa (Searching the Internet far and wide to bring you thought-provoking controversy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: Fierce Allegiance
"I recall quite a while back you discussing that you had no offspring, but were close to a friends kids. Am I right?"

Right. I love kids but am cursed to have none. They seem to like me--or at least tolerate me.

I can tell you from direct observation that for all the problems they cause, they are the greatest blessing in the world.

I have a circle of friends who meet for lunch; all childless. I tell them we are the losers of the world: children are your only hope of immortality. We have failed to project our genes into the future; hence: losers. It doesn't matter how smart or talented you are; nature does not care. It cares about the genes, not the "gigantic lumbering robots" the genes have constructed to ensure their transmission.

That is the practical bit. The spiritual bit is even more important, and ineffable.

--Boris

255 posted on 11/06/2004 4:36:16 PM PST by boris (The deadliest weapon of mass destruction in history is a Leftist with a word processor)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: iheartusa
I don't have any because I have a serious illness. But I do like kids. It's not a big heartache to me not to be raising any of my own. If I wasn't chronically ill I may not have had kids anyway. I never really had an aching need like some women. I've never felt the "call" to motherhood, if there is such a thing. I would say that the majority of people do not make an informed choice about parenthood. About half of all children are not planned.

I'm very sorry to read of your serious illness, and hope that your health improves. And my two kids have four very loving aunts and uncles that for reasons didn't have children. That's how it goes and, like you, they truly love kids.

And thank you for a very good reply. There is no question that a great many people have babies they don't want every day. The newspapers regularly carry reports of babies being killed by their mother's boyfriends, all that. We can choose 1. abortion, 2. giving up the baby for adoption, or 3. keeping the baby. Giving the baby up for adoption is so infrequently done that childless Americans are flocking to China, Russia, Rumania, etc. to adopt.

I think that along with basic sex education, there should be some responsibilty classes (besides carrying that stupid sack of sugar around in high schools). There really does need to be that sense of responsibility, of what will you train a baby to be? And if you don't know what you'd do, or you're in an unstable relationship, then birth control is the easiest thing on earth to find.

256 posted on 11/06/2004 5:00:34 PM PST by xJones
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 254 | View Replies]

To: boris

If you have nieces and nephews, your genes are being carried into the future! My 3-year-old niece is practically my spitting image. Everybody says so. She came to my house and saw a picture of me at her age and exclaimed, "this is me!" And I am frequently mistaken for my aunt's daughter. You may be childless, but you belong to a family and a bloodline. If you don't have the kids, for whatever reason, somebody in the family will. We all live on in the hearts and minds of people who love us.


257 posted on 11/06/2004 5:20:17 PM PST by iheartusa (Searching the Internet far and wide to bring you thought-provoking controversy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 255 | View Replies]

To: Beelzebubba
Perhaps you should address my words, instead of attempting to infer an "attitude." Or at least articulate what you believe the objectionable attitude to be.

Looking at my post....ah, here it is:

I suppose it comes down to this... How much value is there in always doing as you choose? To never have to sweat it out for someone else?

And...

I think it's a shame that people jump onto the bandwagon of, "Let's please only ourselves and never do anything difficult because it's so much easier and FUN that way!" There is value in extending yourself for others. People of character do hard things and work through them. They see the reward is in the process of learning and growing.

I apologise for not directly quoting your statement which is (approximately) "Hey, honey let's fly off to Chicago for the weekend!" It might have helped me to be more clear. Your attitude seems to be, "I don't want to have kids because, boy, they'd really interfere in my ability to please myself at every moment (ie fly off to Chicago on a whim).

258 posted on 11/06/2004 5:51:20 PM PST by Dianna
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 249 | View Replies]

To: Cogadh na Sith

Not only bitter but delusional as well. Let's end this little conversation, you are a _ _ _ _ _. Lang may yer lums reek.


259 posted on 11/06/2004 6:01:13 PM PST by MontanaBeth (NEVER FORGET)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 252 | View Replies]

To: iheartusa

This guy is such an authority on something he has never experienced!


260 posted on 11/06/2004 6:07:01 PM PST by Exit148 (Founder of the Loose Change Club. Every nickle and dime counts!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 221-240241-260261-280281-292 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson