Posted on 11/05/2004 11:52:42 AM PST by iheartusa
There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster. The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think. However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know: Children are overrated. For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy. They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on. Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject. The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do". Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.
I decided not to have kids or a wife... And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45..... Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality. My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".
I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails. People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income. More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.
NoMarriage.com manual will help you determine if you are ready and want to have children in the near future.
Luckily I am very close to my oldest son. I think he actually knows what happened. He cant talk about it either.
Agreed. I help out my bro & his wife by babysitting whenever they need. It's nice to be able to "rent" my nephews for a few hours and then return them. ;)
Are you being a bit sarcastic?
So come all the way out of the closet, I'm not stopping you.
I just took my job as Mom very, very seriously.
Since it is probably their fault, they should feel guilty.
I know that feeling. My husband and I went to Bermuda last year for a week. Our boys are 6 and 8, and were with their grandparents. After three days we just kept talking about how much or boys would have liked the snorkeling etc. On day number four we caught an early flight home; and will return again in a few months with the boys.
My husband and I have been together since college and had great trips etc. prior to having our children. But I will never travel again without them...I just don't know how people can do it; we felt that part of us was missing when they were so far away.
Well, isn't it good he's not going to get married or have kids?
Mrs. Neanderthal is a lucky woman. : )
Tearful sympathy to you and your wife.....
No, actually I was assuming the writer of the article thought that. But one reason for having kiddies at least USED to be so that you would have somebody to take care of you when you were too old to take care of yourself. That antedates captitalism.
But I bet that guy who wrote the article hasn't thought about who would support him when he got old ....
Actually, I know this. It took us 7 years to have our one and only and we damn near lost her.
My point, if I had one, is that from ancient times there has been one important aspect of having children that this guy overlooked: Kids take care of their aged parents.
I am not seriously suggesting that SS be restructured that way. But I am suggesting that the author think about how he is enjoying his kid free life-style and is also going to receive payments from the great income redistribution program known as Social Security. You may have been a victim of childlessness (and my heart goes out to you), but he has CHOSEN -- and boasts of it -- to receive a part of his suport in his old age from the children of others.
I'm just sick of getting every thing I work for taken from me by ball-busting b*&%es like you.
You're response has proved my case, thank you.
Stop playing....
After my father and mother had a BIG dysfunctional family (9 kids) my father told me that. He had kids out of an extension of his own vanity.
I wonder how many people in the X and Y Generations are not having children because they cannot afford to raise them due to all the taxes they have to pay to support S.S. and the aging Baby Boomers...
That's definitely one consideration I've taken into account.
Every productive person you interact with is that way because some parents chose to make the effort. Your doctor is the result of many thousands of hours of dedicated parenting. So is the supermarket checker, your car mechanic, your food supplier, your Internet forum creator, and so on. Without parents and children, there is no society. If you aren't putting in thousands of hours of child-rearing effort to help create productive citizens, you are freeloading off of someone else's work. Any break that parents get is minimal in light of the work that parents do to make productive citizens and perpetuate society.
I have two great kids whom I really enjoy and I have high hopes they will be a great contribution to society.
Stuff it. This isn't 30 years ago. Look around, nearly every orangization in the country seems to want to take their pound of flesh from the young generations of this country.
For example, colleges had driven up prices for admission to the point where to get a degree a 20-something young adult has to take out a loan that they will paying off well into their 40's and 50's.
This does not include other problems, like this country's corrupt tax system. Or the anti-male/father laws, regulations and court rulings which force fathers to be wage slaves to the mothers of their children while they have no right to contact, nor raise their children.
In this type of enviroment, I am suprised there are not men like the author of thie article that have choosen not to have children.
They can choose not to have children. I won't force them.
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