Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Hello, Uranus? Got Any Room? (The Mark Morford Column We've All Been Waiting For)
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, November 5, 2004 | Mark Morford, Spends a great deal of time at Uranus

Posted on 11/05/2004 5:55:20 AM PST by presidio9

I said it, you said it, pretty much anyone with a brain larger than a grape or a soul more nimble than a rock said it maybe a thousand times over. And you probably weren't even all that drunk when you said it and maybe you were even a little more than half serious and maybe you said it just like this: If Bush somehow snags another election, if the unthinkable comes to pass and the Dubya neocon nightmare refuses to end, well, that's it. I'm outta here.

Done. Over. Gone. Moving away. To Canada. Or France. Latvia. Uranus. Anywhere, really, that doesn't have Bush as leader and that doesn't make me openly ashamed to be a citizen and that doesn't make me feel like a sickened disillusioned ulcerated outcast in my own happily divisive country every damn day including Sunday.

You want a place, you say, that doesn't right this minute seem to be working heroically to make homophobia and born-again fundamentalism and pre-emptive isolationist warmongering and environmental ignorance a national religion. A place where SUVs aren't considered minor deities and where gay people aren't loathed for wanting to slice a wedding cake and where brazen heavily narcotized denial in the face of a veritable mountain of presidential lies isn't the national pastime.

Tempting, isn't it? To just move away to a sunnier, clothing-optional utopia and wait for it all to be over, for the dark days to pass and the Shrub era to sink into the tar pits of history and the fog to finally lift?

After all, most all of us on the progressive Left feel we truly faced the dragon this election, and we put up a valiant fight and marshaled as potent an army of dissenters and intellectuals and moderates and liberal crusaders and feminists

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: adamandsteve; chocolatestarfish; hersheyhighway; hyperventilating; lamentationofwomen; mandatorybarfalert; mba
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120121-138 next last
To: Reaganesque

ROTFLMAO!!!


101 posted on 11/05/2004 7:49:39 AM PST by Dawgreg (Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: presidio9


Morford threads are a riot, if nothing else than for the keywords. ROFL


102 posted on 11/05/2004 7:53:23 AM PST by Malsua
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator
Well said. :')
103 posted on 11/05/2004 7:53:37 AM PST by SunkenCiv ("All I have seen teaches me trust the Creator for all I have not seen." -- Emerson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: presidio9
But Markie, you ARE a sickened disillusioned ulcerated outcast in my own happily divisive country every damn day including Sunday.
104 posted on 11/05/2004 7:55:35 AM PST by SmithL (Do I seem like I'm gloating?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: presidio9

Yeah, Kerry said he had been drinking the night before the test or something. Same excuse used by loser arts majors I met in college who made 10s and 15s on their ACTs.


105 posted on 11/05/2004 7:55:51 AM PST by L98Fiero
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 68 | View Replies]

To: presidio9
Please tell me this was photoshopped. I am laughing so hard, it's making my stomach hurt.
106 posted on 11/05/2004 7:57:20 AM PST by MKM1960
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 99 | View Replies]

To: Question Liberal Authority

Before going off half-cocked, one should first ask " Is there life on Uranus " and more importantly I think " Is there life in Uranus " .


107 posted on 11/05/2004 7:57:44 AM PST by MAWG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: presidio9

The posted keywords are brutal on this one. LOL!


108 posted on 11/05/2004 8:02:40 AM PST by dennisw (Gd - against Amelek for all generations.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MKM1960

I made that one using a sign generator website (now defunct). Ain't technology wunnerful?


109 posted on 11/05/2004 8:02:45 AM PST by Slings and Arrows ("I heff good news and bad news. Good news is I saw Allah. Bad news is he was wearing a yarmulke.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 106 | View Replies]

To: presidio9

What's the longest thing in the world? Toilet paper. It streches all the way from the roll to Uranus!


110 posted on 11/05/2004 8:04:33 AM PST by Rollee (It's a great time to be alive! God bless America!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MKM1960

I think Slingsandarrows made it originally, but I have seen it several times. It's fake. Originally the kids were holding a sign photoshopped by one of Morford's sympathizers that said something like "This guy raped my sister."


111 posted on 11/05/2004 8:05:07 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 106 | View Replies]

To: Question Liberal Authority
You don't know crap about Uranus. It's colder than hell there. Like 350 degrees BELOW ZERO. Trust me. You'll want to bring a sweater.

And a flashlight.

It's dark there. Uranus' insolation is only 0.2% that of Earth's.

112 posted on 11/05/2004 8:11:28 AM PST by Chemist_Geek ("Drill, R&D, and conserve" should be our watchwords! Energy independence for America!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: MarcoPolo

Missy Morford is the perfect icon of the Democratic Party's base constituency.


113 posted on 11/05/2004 8:17:38 AM PST by ArrogantBustard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Slings and Arrows; presidio9
I am eternally grateful that I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I saw it. I just don't feel like trekking to Wallyworld today.
114 posted on 11/05/2004 8:17:43 AM PST by MKM1960
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 109 | View Replies]

To: Arnold Zephel

If you sprinkled Holy Water on Miss Morford, it would spit and sizzle and his head would spin around and he'd puke up green pea-soup.


115 posted on 11/05/2004 8:19:33 AM PST by ArrogantBustard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: presidio9
The first part of his/her column really got my hopes up. I thought he/she was really going to fulfill his/her promise and leave to torment some other country.

Alas, he/she is like all the rest of these crazy leftists - full of crack-pipe dreams and bullshiite. They really have no intention of leaving. Most any other country in the world would either lock them up and throw away the keys or line them up on chopping blocks. Like spoiled brats, they just throw endless tantrums and threaten to hold their breath until they die.

So, regrettably, I guess we are stuck with their squeals of outrage and continuing attempts to deconstruct our Constitution while they take advantage of our bottomess (sic) tolerance for another four more years....

116 posted on 11/05/2004 8:27:15 AM PST by Gritty ("You gotta start travelling with a bodyguard. Liberals are out of their minds!-Ann Coulter)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sauropod; hellinahandcart

Get over here and revel in Miss Morford's agony! :D


117 posted on 11/05/2004 8:29:33 AM PST by NYC GOP Chick (www.HillaryWatch.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Tijeras_Slim

His head has been up his anus for years. Maybe we should rename the planet Hisanus.


118 posted on 11/05/2004 8:31:09 AM PST by jackbill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: presidio9
After all, most all of us on the progressive Left feel we truly faced the dragon this election, and we put up a valiant fight and marshaled as potent an army of dissenters and intellectuals and moderates and liberal crusaders and feminists and enlightened activists as possible, considering.

And we supposedly had more of the youth vote and the disenfranchised single-female vote and the "Daily Show" vote and the Eminem vote and the celebrity vote and the humanitarian vote and the antiwar vote and the gay vote and the pro-choice vote and the Howard Stern vote and the immigrant vote, and still the dragon just sneered and hacked up another fireball of bogus fear and evangelical Christian self-righteousness and torched our glimmering sword of juicy hope into a smoking cinder.

And yet you still lost. LOL!

119 posted on 11/05/2004 8:31:44 AM PST by NYC GOP Chick (www.HillaryWatch.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fierce Allegiance

They'd probably be banning a lot of people. And it's become a bit of a tradition out here ;) .

LQ


120 posted on 11/05/2004 8:31:49 AM PST by LizardQueen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 91 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120121-138 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson