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By JOHN COLES TWO lesbians lived as a married couple for 13 years by convincing the world one of them was a MAN. Lucy Kong and Susan Abberstein fooled everyone by acting as husband and wife after Susan transformed herself into a fella. She wore mens clothes, took male hormones that boosted her muscles, grew a moustache and changed her name by deed poll to Samuel. No one noticed anything odd as the pair married in an official register office ceremony with proper papers. And they even had a test-tube child to complete the fake picture of a normal happy family. The boy, now 12, only learned the stark truth about his dad in recent months. Pretty Lucy, 37, finally blew the lid off the incredible sham yesterday. Her decision to talk follows a bitter split from her 47-year-old husband, who she accused of becoming a domineering bully. Lucy said: To the outside world we were man and wife, a normal heterosexual couple. We went everywhere together as an ordinary Mr and Mrs.
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The 'wife' ... Lucy has lifted the lid on her marriage |
We had a joint bank account as Mr and Mrs Abberstein, and a joint mortgage as a couple like anyone else. I couldnt deal with lads it was easier with her But in reality, all the time we were two women living together and far from being normal. The bizarre relationship began when Lucy fell in love with Susan at the age of 16. Lucy said: Id had one serious boyfriend when I was 15. But it was a stormy relationship and after a year we broke up.
I moved into my own flat and soon got to know Sue, who was living opposite. At the time she was experimenting with becoming a lesbian. Shed already had two long-term relationships with girlfriends.
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Hug from 'dad' ... Susan with test-tube child Ben |
I was attracted to her because she seemed very self-confident and she showed a lot of interest in me. I knew I was quite pretty as Id had lots of attention from blokes. But I wasnt able to deal with it. It just seemed easier to be with her. Within two years the pair decided they wanted to marry. And they would carry off the charade by turning Susan, who always said she wanted to be a man, into Samuel. She cut her hair short and began wearing shirts and trousers. She took male hormones, which gave her a moustache. And soon, as her voice got deeper, she had to start shaving. In 1985, Lucy and Samuel were the first pair to get a home through the Hull Housing Association on Humberside. And the happy couple posed for a picture with the citys mayor.
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Dapper ... Susan in dinner jacket with Lucy at do |
They married the following year. Susan, the daughter of an RAF bomber crewman, easily passed as a man. And she did not have to produce her birth certificate at the ceremony. Lucy, whose dad was half Chinese, half Japanese, said: We decided to get married because we loved each other and it seemed the right thing to do.
We wanted to live together and get a house together and it just seemed natural. I had doubts about the marriage but I felt it was too late so I went ahead with it. I do remember thinking, Why am I doing this? But it never occurred to me that the marriage wasnt actually legally binding. She added: Sue was so convincing as a man that everyone was fooled.
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Mother's 'boy' ... Sam with his mum Shirley |
Soon afterwards, the pair decided to cement their bond with a child. Their only option was IVF treatment with donor sperm, costing £2,500. Lucy conceived at the first attempt and son Ben was born in 1992. Susan was determined to be a model dad. Lucy said: She was a very doting parent, very attentive, just like youd want a father to be. She was present at the birth and was very caring and loving towards Ben. The name of Samuel was put on Bens birth certificate as the childs father. Lucy said: In the early days of the marriage I just completely blocked out the fact that we were living this lie. We were posing as a man and a woman and I had convinced myself we were husband and wife, and that to all intents and purposes it was a normal marriage. But every now and then something would come up to make me realise the person I was living with was actually Susan. It would be a shock, like a sudden cold shower.
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Sham ... marriage certificate |
The rest of the time I would forget who she really was and think of her as Sam. The relationship began to unravel in the late 1990s. She got much stronger than a normal woman Lucy began to feel trapped by their secret. And Susan started to demonstrate a darker, domineering side. She took one male hormone pill a fortnight throughout the marriage. And Lucy said: They would cause really violent mood swings. She was physically violent towards me on occasions and got noticeably stronger than a normal woman. She told how the marriage became like living in a plastic bubble that she feared would pop at any moment. Though the pairs closest relatives knew they were both women, Lucy felt isolated and unable to talk to anyone. She said: Sues behaviour dictated that was the way it was, that we werent able to talk to anyone else. I knew I was living a lie and towards the end I didnt like going out with her. I was in denial at the end. We had serious problems but I couldnt discuss them with anyone. Sue would call me a slut and a whore if ever a man looked at me. She was totally jealous and just wanted me for herself. Lucy walked out in 1999, taking Ben with her, after telling Susan she was making her life hell. She still acts as man and says shes inter-sexual She went to start a new life in Cornwall. And she soon met a REAL man, with whom she had a daughter, Millie, now four. Strangely, even though their marriage was never legal, Lucy and Susan went through formal divorce proceedings. Their split was made official last week on the grounds they had lived apart for five years. They have not spoken in all that time. Lucys relationship with Millies dad collapsed but she is now an item with 55-year-old writer Richard Hope-Hawkins. He said: I love Lucy very much and would love to be with her permanently. We have a very full and fulfilling sexual relationship. Susan still goes by the name of Samuel and acts like a man. She lives with another woman called Rebecca in Yorkshire and is a care worker. She said yesterday: I am inter- sexual. But she refused to discuss her marriage to Lucy. |