That's all I can say.
Posted on 10/05/2004 5:27:26 PM PDT by SandRat
Only days after learning her son had died fighting in Iraq, Karen Unruh-Wahrer collapsed and died suddenly in her Tucson home.
Now the fallen soldier and his 45-year-old mother will be honored together at a visitation in Tucson this evening.
Although the cause of Unruh-Wahrer's Saturday death has not been released, friends say her family is blaming it on "a broken heart" over losing her son, Army Spc. Robert Oliver Unruh, 25, to enemy fire near Baghdad Sept. 25.
"She was very, very devastated - she just couldn't stop crying," said Cheryl Hamilton, a friend and co-worker who had seen the distraught mother several times during the week after her son's death.
"Her grief was so intense - it seemed it could have harmed her, could have caused a heart attack. Her husband described it as a broken heart," said Hamilton, manager of respiratory care services at University Medical Center, where Unruh-Wahrer worked as a respiratory therapist.
The family declined to speak to the media Monday, said Tanja Linton, spokeswoman for Fort Huachuca, where Robert Unruh will be buried at the Southern Arizona Veterans' Memorial Cemetery on Friday.
Hamilton described Unruh-Wahrer's daughter, Amie, 25 - sister to "Robbie" - as "totally destroyed by all this."
Because Unruh-Wahrer was only 45, and her doctors could give no medical explanation for her death, an autopsy was performed Monday. Results will not be available until relatives are notified, said Dr. Bruce Parks, Pima County chief medical examiner.
Unruh-Wahrer suffered chest pains Thursday and was seen at UMC's emergency room, where she underwent tests for heart trouble. She returned home that day and reported feeling better Friday, Hamilton said.
But after seeing her son's body Saturday morning, Unruh-Wahrer collapsed that night in her kitchen. Her husband, Dennis Wahrer - also a respiratory therapist - immediately began CPR, along with several other family members, but without success, according to a police report. Unruh-Wahrer was pronounced dead at St. Joseph's Hospital just before midnight.
On Sunday, a message from Unruh-Wahrer's co-workers at UMC was read to the congregation of Catalina Foothills Presbyterian Church, announcing her death and asking for prayers for the family.
"Everyone gasped when they heard who it was," said Rebecca Boren, a church member and Star free-lance writer.
"The family doesn't attend here, so many of us don't know them personally, but everyone knew this was the mother who had lost her son in Iraq. The message said she had died of a heart attack - but that it was really a broken heart."
Sudden death in a seemingly healthy person who has suffered a devastating shock is a phenomenon known to doctors who specialize in cardiac care.
"It's very hard to prove a 'broken heart,' but we do know what happens in circumstances like this, and that it can occur at times of intense strain," said Dr. Monty Morales, a cardiologist with Pima Heart Associates.
"I have seen that happen. What can be more stressful than losing a child?" he asked.
"We don't go so far as to say the cause is a broken heart, but it is certainly possible that a heartbreaking event is the trigger for this."
After hearing of the double tragedy, the president of Military Moms of Greater Tucson, Mary Quintana, said:
"It's terrible they have to go through this. Our hearts go out to them. Why God allows something like this to happen, when they're already going through such hardship, I just don't know."
Speaking through Hamilton, Dennis Wahrer said he wanted to ensure political overtones are not cast on the war in Iraq in the wake of his son's, and now his wife's, deaths.
"Karen would not have wanted that," Hamilton said. "What she said after Robbie died - that 'we're at war . . . war takes soldiers and those soldiers come from families' - that's how she felt. She understood that. She knew the risk was part of being in the military. "
As a combat engineer, Robbie Unruh had the especially dangerous job of supporting frontline troops in their movements through hostile territory. He had been in Iraq less than a month when his unit was attacked with small-arms fire and he was fatally wounded.
Hamilton described Unruh-Wahrer as "wonderful to work with."
"She was a supervisor, and very fair to everyone. She loved being a respiratory therapist, especially in the neonatal and pediatric intensive care units. She really loved taking care of children," Hamilton said. "Ev-eryone here at UMC is devastated. It's just unbelievable."
The joint visitation will begin at 5 p.m. at Heather Mortuary, 1040 N. Columbus Blvd.
After a private ceremony for the family on Wednesday, Unruh-Wahrer's body will accompany her son's in the procession to Southern Arizona Veterans' Memorial Cemetery in Sierra Vista, for his burial. Plans for Unruh-Wahrer's interment have not been finalized.
That's all I can say.
So sad.
Sometimes you don't need proof. Sometimes you just know.
Prayers for the family.
I can think of nothing harder to bear than the loss of a child, under any circumstances.
Praying for the healing of this family. Why, oh why can't freedom be free?
No parent wants to outlive their kids. What awful pain. Jesus Lord, accept and bless these two.
Sometimes I feel as if a part of me dies whenever I learn of the death of one of our Troops. This is a very sad story. I can almost understand the loss of the will to go on after such a devasting event in one's life. I feel terrible about this.
Words fail me now.........God have mercy on their family and friends .
A lucky woman- to have had the end of her days come so that she could be with her son and not have to live the half-life of grief.
That's sad. It's too bad her husband wasn't able to comfort her effectively.
It wouldn't shock me if Kerry found a way to use this.
You're right...
My maternal Grandmother died on 21 March 1965---Grandad followed 3 weeks later...
"Officially" it was a massive Heart Attack--but even the Doc said it was a broken hear (they had been married 55 years)
Even so, Lord Jesus, come!
So sad...prayers to the family and loved ones. When we lost my nephew in Afghanistan over the summer it was devastating, then my wife lost her brother a week later due to an unexpected heart attack and our grief was compounded. Takes much strength with the help of our Lord to overcome loved ones deaths so close apart.
May he give this family the strength that they need.
Double devastation for the father/husband, daughter/sister...Prayer for the family...
May God comfort and strengthen all those left behind.
Just seeing those words in print brings hope. Thanks.
RIP Spc Robert Unruh, and your Mom as well.
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