Posted on 10/04/2004 7:31:17 AM PDT by dead
Nadine Davidoff has had enough of men assuming that what gay women really want is a bloke.
When you see two girls walking down the street arm in arm there are a few of safe assumptions you could make about the scene; either the girls are friends or they are gay - they could even be partners. However, a certain subset of heterosexual men inexplicably arrive at a completely different conclusion: that the girls are putting on this display for their benefit and that they secretly want the men to join in the fun.
Who knows where this misconception comes from? Centuries of male privilege perhaps; a notion that everything in this world is created for their enjoyment? But this is the post-feminist age and men have long since ceased to be our supreme rulers. Which poses the question: what part of the word "gay" do these men not understand?
We are not helped, of course, by the likes of Madonna and Britney Spears, who recently engaged in a tongue-twister for precisely the purpose of revving up heterosexual men. I am sure they enjoyed themselves (well, Britney surely did) but did they realise that this wanton publicity stunt trivialises and misrepresents every genuine display of affection between lesbian women?
A case in point; one warm Sunday afternoon, I was walking along Bondi Beach hand-in-hand with my girlfriend. Deep in conversation, we suddenly became aware of a fat, hairy man barrelling towards us with his arms outstretched. "How 'bout a threesome ladies?" he leered as he attempted to enfold us in a group hug. It didn't take us very long to come up with an appropriate response to this invasion, and we promptly told the fool to bugger off. But sometimes, it's a little bit more tricky.
For example, my girlfriend dropped me off at yoga one evening, and as we parted, she gave me a quick kiss goodbye. "Nice kiss, girls," drawled a male member of the class as he stepped into the room. As I followed him into a quiet candlelit studio with members of the class already deep into their postures, it didn't seem quite right to ruin the serenity with a loud four-letter word.
It does help though, to have your mother on hand. Strolling past Ravesi's in Bondi one hot afternoon (yes, hand-in-hand with my girl) the hairy boofheads spilling out of every open window could not contain their excitement, and proceeded to hassle us with catcalls and whistles. By now, quite used to this graceless display, we walked blithely on. Not so my mother, for whom this was a new experience. "What's wrong with you all?" she scolded as she turned to face them. "They're not doing it for your benefit."
I have never seen a bunch of men sink faster into their beers. Clearly, if there's one thing heterosexual men are still afraid of, it's their mothers.
Let's say they are either 1)above 3 on the Kinsey Scale, or 2)better actresses than I think they are.
Editorial: Do you ever actually bother to read what other people post? Ever hear of adjectives and adverbs?
The power women have comes from the man. She can say no all she wants and he can still bonk her on the head and take what he wants.
It is cornerstone of civilized human behavior for the man to give the woman the power to say no. It isn't intrinsically hers.
HLA!!!!
"The power women have comes from the man. She can say no all she wants and he can still bonk her on the head and take what he wants. "
Amazing!
Your post is a generalization that holds true only in certian arenas, and only with certian women. What you're saying only applies when the man is bigger and stronger than the woman, a situation that may occur often but does not occur always. This being the case, you cannot state this as a failproof truth, since it is not failproof.
Paging Bill Clinton....
You're nitpicking on that one. Look at the status of women in Arabic Muslim societies, even today. It isn't very far removed from what he posits.
It certainly wouldn't be Britany and Madonna. ;^)
The man's name is "Samuel Colt".
Yeah look - even some radical feminists support the Taliban enslavement of women because we have no right to impose our values on their society. Moral relativism run riot.
No, I'm not nitpicking. Would you prefer a society similar to the Arab Muslim one that you mention? My only point was that he cannot state something as a truth when it obviously is not. What he is talking about are societal and phyisical differences, not emotional and intellectual ones. These differences may change from relationship to relationship and from era to era.
"The power women have comes from the man. She can say no all she wants and he can still bonk her on the head and take what he wants.
It is cornerstone of civilized human behavior for the man to give the woman the power to say no. It isn't intrinsically hers."
You are wrong, and on several levels. Let's start with the biological level, OK?
Throughout the animal kingdom, it is the female which decides what mate to accept. Males perform all sorts of dances, sport all sorts of plumage, etc., in order to get a female to accept them as mates. We do the same as humans. We court our females, offering them gifts, as many birds do. We dress well (at least some of us do), groom our plumage, and strut about, as do many animals, in hopes that a female will notice us and accept our advances.
Yes, men can rape women. It's an abberation of nature for a male to rape a female, however. We are justifiably angered at rape, and ostracize the rapist. It goes against nature.
I'm afraid your understanding of the relationship between the male and female of the human species is skewed for some reason or another.
Again, I am trying not to be unkind to some of you, since I know you aren't stupid. But really, is it that hard to comprehend what I am saying?
Are there women stronger than men? Yes. But that says nothing about the psychological difference between men and women.
I never said that it is impossible for a woman to be stronger than a man. So why are you putting those words in my mouth? If that is what you think I said, go reread my post.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Everyone knows that lesbians are really only frustrated women looking for a caveman type man to take over their lives for them.
The power women have comes from the man. She can say no all she wants and he can still bonk her on the head and take what he wants.
And then said:
Are there women stronger than men? Yes. But that says nothing about the psychological difference between men and women. I never said that it is impossible for a woman to be stronger than a man. So why are you putting those words in my mouth? If that is what you think I said, go reread my post.
That should be clear enough. Do you want to try again?
Some people have a misconception that men cannot be sexually harassed. For them I have only two words JANET RENO, comin' around the desk at'cha.
Amen!!!
I think gays and lesbians don't want legal equality.
The status quo (limited social acceptance compounded with some opposition and soft bigotry) is what they want, to make a fuss about their "situation".
If they even had full social acceptance, they'd be just ignored, for them a fate worse than "discrimination".
Perpetual victims...
Duh. Thank you for the blinding revelation.
"I suspect most men would shrink at the reality of a threesome. (pun intended)"
I'm always up for the challenge.
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