Rathergate -- the gift that just keeps on giving
by JohnHuang2
Surfing the Internet in my pajamas recently, I noticed a new rumor making the rounds. Something about this biggie anchor getting duped by fake documents. Now, if the documents are not what we were led to believe, I'd like to break that story. I'd like to break the story that an iceberg sank the Titanic, but, like the sinking Dantanic, some pajama guy scooped me on that one too.
Taking water in deep water out of sight of land, the crew of the CBS Dantanic, unable to plug a massive hole in their story, sent a massive distress signal Monday, claiming they were victims of accurate documents which were fake but still stood by the thrust of the story revealed in the fake documents as very solid. (New CBS motto: 'Trust us, we get it half right'. Or, 'Sixty half-truths in 60 Minutes'. 'We won't totally mislead you'. 'If we get tripped up, we let you know in 12 or 13 days, or when Bloggers smoke us out'. 'Even our questionable documents are accurate'.) CBS says an Unimpeachable Source misled them.
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The admission comes exactly 10 Ice Ages after the initial "60 Minutes" airing of documents purportedly generated on a Vietnam-era typewriter with awesome computing power by Bush's computer geek squadron commander who didn't type or keep personal files and was a big Bill Gates fan. The Unimpeachable Source, grassy-knoller Bill Burkett, says he once happened to see Bush's service record files in a trash can with 'FORTUNE SON BUSH HAS BEEN A-WALL!' scrawled on top and says he once happened to be passing by the office of a general yelling, 'COVER UP BUSH'S TERRIBLE SERVICE RECORD OR I'LL SHIP YOU TO PANAMA TO CONTRACT A DISABLING DISEASE!' and says he once happened to overhear a Bush aide order the Texas National Guard to shred all files stamped with 'BUSH IS A DESSERTER!!'.
Then, in '97, came the clincher, a terrible moment seared in his memory, says Burkett. An aide to then governor Bush walked up to him and told him: 'You must improperly alter Bush's service record and delete any embarrassing info -- THAT'S AN ORDER!' Burkett refused, so, as punishment, he was shipped to Panama to contract a disabling disease, says Burkett. Dan Rather says this proves Burkett had no ax to grind, although, in February, Burkett retracted his story, telling the Houston Chronicle that his allegation of Bush shipping him to Panama "was not accurate." This made Burkett an Unimpeachable Source. Rather now admits he and Burkett, who has a history of being an unimpeachable nut, have known each other for 30 years but Rather says he had no idea Burkett was a nut. In an August commentary for Online Journal, Burkett crowed that he had "reassembled" Bush's service record. To do this, Burkett used a special technique called Reconstructing Repressed Document Memory for documents plagued with Repressed Memory Syndrome.
Burkett now denies having forgery relations with those accurate documents and claimed the source was fellow ex-Guardsman George Conn. Then Burkett admitted that was a lie and that the source of the accurate documents or forgeries was Lucy Ramirez whom no one has been able to locate. Burkett insists the documents are real but has no way of proving it. Then he admitted that was a lie and that he burned the originals. So when Unimpeachable Burkett says, 'I didn't forge anything', Dan says you can take it to the bank.
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The CBS network, retracting the fake memos but not the story strongly backed up by the fake memos, insists questions raised in the fake documents have not been answered. CBS says that, though the documents can not be authenticated, the story has been authenticated because of the documents. The Docu-
ments Malfunctioned but not the story. Interviewed on a local CBS Affiliate in New York on Monday, Rather said the core of the story is genuine and that the only thing which remains questionable is the evidence. The memos, the heart of CBS's case that Bush is unfit for command, explosively reveal that Bush is a son of wealth (Bush could've picked less wealthy parents to be born to) and so he got special treatment by a colonel who wasn't even at the Guard at the time who pressured Bush's commander to 'sugar-coat' Bush skipping a flight physical he didn't need to take because he'd already been transferred to Alabama to work on a political campaign. (The question, 'Did Bush or didn't Bush attend that unnecessary flight physical 32 years ago?' is one that has the nation deeply shaken, I'm sure.)
Rather said mistakes were made. "It was an error that was made, however, in good faith and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition without fear or favoritism." It was in good faith that Rather forgot to nail down the source of the memos, forgot to nail down the chain of custody, forgot to check for forgeries, forgot to check for antique Microsoft typewriters, forgot to listen to document experts, and forgot that Bill Burkett is a rabid Democrat with a long history of attacking Bush, which means Burkett must be working for . . . Karl Rove! (See Tom Shales @ Washington Post and Maureen Dowd.) In fairness, Dowdy says she gives little credence to 'Rove did it!' conspiracy theories so she devotes 90% of column space to 'Rove did it!' conspiracy theories.
Network president Andrew Heyward ordered an "independent review of the process by which the report was prepared and broadcast to determine what actions need to be taken." (The report should be ready the day after the elections.)
Rather says if anybody lied to the public, it was Burkett, not he, and if anybody screwed up royally it was producer Mary Mapes, not Rather, who only runs the place. Now, in the spirit of trying to carry on the CBS tradition of not playing favorites, we learn that Mapes contacted Kerry's chief campaign spokesman Joe Lockhart to get him to call Burkett who wouldn't give Mapes the accurate documents unless Lockhart gave Burkett a call so Burkett could give him the heads-up on what's going down with the documents. Lockhart admits he called because he couldn't wait to get campaign advice from some nobody from Texas, so the whole thing was all so very innocent. Burkett was so enthralled telling Lockhart how to run the Kerry campaign that he forgot to mention the memos, so the subject never came up. So here we have Cleland, Burkett, Lockhart, Cahill, Mapes -- nope, no collaboration here at all.
My gut says this is only the beginning. Each day hereon will bring a new revelation, more damaging than the one before. One thing's for sure: With the Clinton A-Team of Carville, Begala, Lockhart, McCurry aboard, the Kerrytanic is taking water and sinking fast. By Election Day, the ship will have sunk. Hillary! will then say, Mission Accomplished. Get set -- the manure is about to hit the fan.
Anyway, that's...
My two cents
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