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To: petconservative
2 posted on
09/13/2004 11:59:54 AM PDT by
MEG33
(John Kerry has been AWOL on issues of national security for two decades)
To: petconservative
3 posted on
09/13/2004 12:00:13 PM PDT by
Red Badger
(If you shoot from the hip enough times, eventually you'll shoot yourself in the a$$......)
To: petconservative
4 posted on
09/13/2004 12:03:00 PM PDT by
wolicy_ponk
(Kerry, follow me no closer than 1000 yards, or I'll teach you what a real purple heart is. -T.Peck)
To: petconservative
Buy it today and receive a free introductory subscription to www.expert-witness.com.
We'll verify that forgery for you. If you can manage to get just three or four elements of handwriting to match the original signature, we'll certify that signature for you as authentic.
Offer only valid for signator's deceased for at least 5 years.
5 posted on
09/13/2004 12:04:25 PM PDT by
DannyTN
To: petconservative
The BEST Thank you -- Very Creative !!!
6 posted on
09/13/2004 12:04:31 PM PDT by
BellaBlackLab
(BellaBlackLab)
To: petconservative
I'll wait for the OSS version.
To: petconservative
Just a few suggestions in casde you circulate this funny piece further (and I hope you do!).
Font selection - Once you have selected the machine type, font selection is limited to only those fonts actually available for that machine. No longer will you make stupid mistakes like selecting Times New Roman for amemorandum that were was supposed to be outputted typed on an IBM Selectrics.
...
Key emulation - Only those keys actually on the selected machine type are activated. Special features such as subscript and superscript will appear only as that machine would have outputted it. Some extremely amateur forgers have actually used features such as a reduced font sized superscript th's "th" in documents that were supposed to have been from a normal typewriter. Our product will prevent such simple mistakes.
Copy machine emulation - Before you print out your document you can have it automatically appear to have been run through a copy or fax machine multiple times. Lettering will look aged and blurred with random specks will appear according to our specialized algorithm.
Margins and document centering - Each document created is slightly different to account for the non-exact centering available of manual machines and the variance of paper feeds. Nobody will be able to overlay your forgery with their his own created forgery and have them exactly line up.
...
Subject lines- Automatically uppercased as this is the standard for military memorandums. Rank selector. Select from the service and the rank for the individual who you are forging. This is especially helpful for those whom the closest they have been to the military is when they protested outside the gate. Prevents mistakes in the abbreviations used in military rank.
8 posted on
09/13/2004 12:08:25 PM PDT by
sionnsar
(Iran Azadi ||| Resource for Traditional Anglicans: trad-anglican.faithweb.com)
To: LibreOuMort; Mont-3-7-77
9 posted on
09/13/2004 12:08:59 PM PDT by
sionnsar
(Iran Azadi ||| Resource for Traditional Anglicans: trad-anglican.faithweb.com)
To: petconservative
Great!
This will be a big hit with CBS and Komrade Kerry's Kamp.
10 posted on
09/13/2004 12:15:05 PM PDT by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop lying to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
To: mhking; JohnHuang2; Ernest_at_the_Beach; MeekOneGOP; nutmeg; Ragtime Cowgirl; petconservative
The laugh of the day and the Freepers on your ping list will probably enjoy this.
11 posted on
09/13/2004 12:16:44 PM PDT by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop lying to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
To: Travis; Squantos; doug from upland; RonDog
This is the perfect gift for John Forges Kerry and the lunatic mediots who lie everyday for him.
12 posted on
09/13/2004 12:18:00 PM PDT by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop lying to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
To: Smartass; devolve; Happy2BMe; PhilDragoo; petconservative
Something for our graphic arts gang to have some fun with.
13 posted on
09/13/2004 12:19:10 PM PDT by
Grampa Dave
(When will the ABCNNBC BS lunatic libs stop lying to Americans? Answer: NEVER!)
To: petconservative
Cool! Where can I get one?
14 posted on
09/13/2004 12:20:20 PM PDT by
Revolting cat!
("In the end, nothing explains anything!")
To: petconservative
15 posted on
09/13/2004 12:25:48 PM PDT by
BufordP
("I wish we lived in the day when you could challenge a person to a duel!")
To: petconservative
Is this available for Mac users as well, or do only PC users have the ability to forge successfully? (LOL)
16 posted on
09/13/2004 12:28:53 PM PDT by
randita
To: petconservative
17 posted on
09/13/2004 12:30:42 PM PDT by
kabar
To: petconservative
To: petconservative; Grampa Dave; MeekOneGOP; PhilDragoo; devolve; potlatch; Prime Choice; ...
heeee heheheh... Miker$oft sure knows how to make a buck - ping.
19 posted on
09/13/2004 12:37:36 PM PDT by
Happy2BMe
(51 days until November 2nd)
To: petconservative
'ol "Danny Boy" RatherNOT is kicking himself now...If this product had been out one month ago.
20 posted on
09/13/2004 12:43:46 PM PDT by
skinkinthegrass
(Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :)
To: petconservative
21 posted on
09/13/2004 12:52:31 PM PDT by
rudypoot
(Kerry sold out the US for political gain before now and he is doing it again.)
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