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(SATIRE): Korean Mushroom Cloud Was Nuclear Test, Says Kim Jong Il!!!
http://www.thebentinel.com/040912-korean-blast-was-nuclear.html ^

Posted on 09/12/2004 10:11:07 AM PDT by maquiladora

PYONGYANG, North Korea - DPRK leader Kim Jong Il broke North Korea's silence Sunday on the explosion detected in its northern province of Ryanggang, resulting in a mushroom cloud over two miles in diameter. "In view of the danger we face in sharing the globe with an aggressor such as the United States," read Kim Jong on KCNA, "We felt we could no longer sit at the negotiating table while our enemies prepared for invasion on our soil. To prove our sincerity as well as our might, we launched this test of our nuclear arsenal. Let the world take note, and take heed."

(Excerpt) Read more at thebentinel.com ...


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: explosion; humor; lies; nknukes; northkorea; nukes; proliferation; propaganda
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1 posted on 09/12/2004 10:11:10 AM PDT by maquiladora
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To: maquiladora

Not according to the US.


2 posted on 09/12/2004 10:12:08 AM PDT by MEG33 (John Kerry has been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security)
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To: maquiladora

Kim Jong Il is full of crap. If it were a nuclear blast, we would know it. Too many people have too much equipment for it to not be detected.


3 posted on 09/12/2004 10:12:23 AM PDT by Excuse_My_Bellicosity (Gun-control is leftist mind-control.)
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To: maquiladora

4 posted on 09/12/2004 10:12:28 AM PDT by drwiii
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To: maquiladora

This is a case where I'd feel a whole lot better seeing KJI quoted saying this by a major media source. Who is "The Bentinel"?


5 posted on 09/12/2004 10:12:58 AM PDT by RightOnTheLeftCoast (You're it)
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To: maquiladora

LOL.

I think you need to add the "Humor" keyword.


6 posted on 09/12/2004 10:13:04 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (hoplophobia is a mental aberration rather than a mere attitude)
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To: maquiladora

Surely the UN will seek prosecution for violating the Nuclear Weapons test ban.


7 posted on 09/12/2004 10:13:21 AM PDT by weegee (What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
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To: maquiladora

Blah Blah Blah nuke dud... We have surveillance capable of determining whether or not it was a nuke... Kim John blah blah blah...


8 posted on 09/12/2004 10:13:31 AM PDT by tomnbeverly (Do not let the UN make decisions for the protection of the United States... VOTE for George W. Bush)
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To: maquiladora
That means it probably wasn't.
9 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:10 AM PDT by COEXERJ145 (Hannity Was Right, FReepers Tend To Eat Their Own)
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To: maquiladora

You should have mentioned that this is from a satirical site.


10 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:11 AM PDT by Miztiki
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To: RightOnTheLeftCoast

Dan Rather's new lead story?


11 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:12 AM PDT by weegee (What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
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To: maquiladora

Either the good guys are conspiring to shush everything up to minimize public hysteria about NK testing its nukes, or North Korea's government just shot itself in the foot (in more ways than one).


12 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:12 AM PDT by dr_who_2
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To: maquiladora
The mushroom will turn out to be a toad's stool.

Leni

13 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:15 AM PDT by MinuteGal
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To: maquiladora

I think they just got caught in their bluff.

Kim truly is crazy enough to think nobody would be able to tell it wasn't nuclear. And, that close to the Chinese border, China would kick their ass because of the fallout.


14 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:31 AM PDT by sharktrager (Nobody deserves our hostility when they are in a time of need.)
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To: maquiladora

not that I believe this, but -- he nukes himself? how much empty land do they have anyway?


15 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:34 AM PDT by heartwood
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To: RightOnTheLeftCoast

lol at "bentinel"

getbentinel hehehe

everything anyone does in the world is an excuse to bitch about the united states.

some woman in russia "OH MY GOD ...it is the fault of the united states that i drank too much vodka last night and that this sack of potatoes is too heavy"


16 posted on 09/12/2004 10:14:36 AM PDT by thirteen stars
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To: maquiladora
From this site:

-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --

You need to add humor to the keywords, though I don't thnk this is funny.
17 posted on 09/12/2004 10:15:08 AM PDT by Mike Fieschko ("Daddy, are there bad men on your planes?")
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To: maquiladora
Ok, before you get carried away, heres the rest of the article, pinch of salt alert!

Secretary of State Colin Powell called the admission "ludicrous, ill-timed, and patently false," pointing to mounting evidence that the explosion and resulting cloud was caused by conventional explosives, likely due to an accident. "Just when this closed nation should be exposing the area to national scrutiny in a bid for international aid to help it deal with the aftermath of this horrific blast, they are instead using it as a bargaining chip. Kim Jong Il is no better than Saddam."

Officials with KCNA, the North's official news agency, said that Powell was "misinformed" and that they "possess evidence that positively identifies the explosion as having resulted from a nuclear weapon test." The evidence is considered to be conclusive, but, said one official, "Release of the materials at this time would constitute a national security breach."

Seismograph stations surrounding North Korea report detecting the blast, but that the signature is not consistent with a nuclear test. "It registered more like an above-ground chemical explosives blast," reported one such station, "In fact, the signature suggests it was a timed series of twenty-five blasts, approximately one-half second apart." This lends credence to the theory that an outside agency entered North Korea and purposely sabotaged the site, thought to be a nuclear weapons research facility. "That would be an awful shame," said Powell, when asked about the possibility, "But it was a fairly inexpensive operation. I mean, it would be inexpensive. I assume. If that's what it was."

18 posted on 09/12/2004 10:15:12 AM PDT by maquiladora
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To: maquiladora

It could have been a nuke test that was so bungled that that the yield was way down with pyrotechnics way up. Thus lots of smoke, but not much of a thud to be picked up by seismographs.


19 posted on 09/12/2004 10:16:32 AM PDT by dennisw (Allah FUBAR!)
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To: maquiladora
He's full of crap. Can someone please give him an enema?

No, wait...he'd probably enjoy that.

20 posted on 09/12/2004 10:17:02 AM PDT by mass55th (It's the superscript, stupid!!!!)
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