Little Red Corvette (Kerry's mid-life crisis) - Hugh Hewitt

Weekly Standard ^ | 5/6/04 | Hugh Hewitt

[Steven W.]

Do pictures of John Kerry in his Lycra cycling suit make you wonder if he's running for the right reasons?

WHEN JOHN KERRY took a spill from his bike this past weekend, it triggered thoughts of Jimmy Carter's collapse in a road race, Gerald Ford's much-mocked stumbles, and of Kerry's own misadventures on the ski slopes earlier this year. But it wasn't until the pictures of Kerry on his bike appeared that the real damage was done. The electric-lemon Lycra look probably won't play well outside the metrosexual caucus, and it can't be particularly inspiring to the troops living in holes outside of Falluja. Presidents can golf, and they can run, but they can't get dandied up and dart around on bikes in tights and fluorescent helmets.

Kerry's obsessive, if ill-fated, displays of physical activity also raise issues other than decorum. I've seen this sort of behavior before in men of a certain age, usually from their early 50s to their early 60s. And then the thought stuck: Are John Kerry's presidential ambitions and the shape and images of his campaign more about a mid-life crisis writ very large than any underlying set of ideas?

First, note that there aren't a lot of ideas over at Kerry Central, other than the U.N. blathering which, in the aftermath of oil-for-food-for-cash-for-Kofi's-friends, doesn't even persuade United Nations employees anymore. And Kerry's paper thin record of Senate accomplishments over two decades doesn't provide us with a reason for his running either.

So who's to say that it all isn't just an effort to head-off old age via the biggest sideshow of them all.

There are warning signs of mid-life crisis. At least a couple of these--excessive time spent on personal appearance and the constant reminiscing about one's youth--seem spot-on in the context of Kerry. And the big gun experts on male mid-life melt-down, such as Jim Conway, author of Men in Midlife Crisis, warn that some candidates for mid-life crisis "seem to have a lot of power, leadership, and ability, yet many of them express great insecurity, and feeling worthless." Kerry may be hiding a lot of angst behind his façade of lift-tickets and SUVs and his Shrumian rhetoric.

Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Carter arrived in the White House before the age when the mid-life demons descend, and President Reagan and candidate Dole had passed the age of such smash-ups.

But Kerry's definitely in the danger zone. Maybe those Lycra shorts are just a cry for help. Maybe he needs help. Maybe what the Kerry campaign really needs is a red corvette.

[GraceCoolidge]

Your explanation makes sense, but I doubt some of it applies to Kerry. I doubt the Secret Service is likely to let cars get near enough to him to pose a risk. With regard to the other, shall we say "health" issues... I haven't seen anywhere how long Kerry's photo op bike ride was... I assume that would affect the necessity of the clothing? But in any case, though, I do think people might take his biking more seriously (or at least mock him less) if he wasn't also snowboarding, skiing, windsurfing, playing guitar, etc., etc. I think he's crossed well over into Alpha Male Overkill, don't you?

[TC Rider]

All this time I thought the Dodge 600 convertible was Kerry's Mid-life Chrysler.

[Hodar]

Kerry is again pretending to be something he obviously isn't. On that I would certainly agree.

[bayourod]

"In short, the biking clothes are ugly; but they are necessary. ...for a ride you have to experience, there simply aren't words.

Have you tried drugs. You can do drugs wearing baggy jeans and over-sized sweat shirts.

[TC Rider]

I was banned from DU for commenting about Johhny Edwards hair.

[Zack Nguyen]

other than the U.N. blathering which, in the aftermath of oil-for-food-for-cash-for-Kofi's-friends...

I haven't seen this addressed in the press at all, except talk radio. Has it appeared anywhere? Do even 1 out of 100 American voters know about it?

[evets]

[Watery Tart]

Posted all over FR at the time. There does, however, seem to be a four-legged extenuating circumstance.

Anyway, he got better. (Did he ever fall all the way down?)

Ineptitude failure to do research knows no political affiliation. ;o)

[cyclotic]

The point of that outfit, For a serious rider, not F'in is comfort and performance.

Lycra moves with the legs and does not bind. I rarely ride more than 5 miles without cycling shorts.

No serious rider wears a T-shirt. Sweat does not wick away. You need a fully sublimated and colorful (for safety and visibility) cool max jersey.

Helmet is obvious and mandatory (personally, not legally)

Gloves cushion the hands on the handlebars and especially for Lurch off protection in a fall.

The shoes have cleats on the bottom that fasten to the pedals with a quick release. Allows the rider to pedal both on the downstroke and the upstroke.

Course, Skerry's just a poser and does not rightfully wear the gear. He's just showing off for hte camera's on what was probably a three mile ride.

BTW, I'm doing a 200 mile ride over two days to support the Multilpe Sclerosis Society of Michigan. If any Freepers are interested in supporting my ride and this excellent organization, please Freepmail me.

[GailA]

Sounds about right. I know there is a professional name for people like this. They are habitual liars on top of being better than everyone else.

[maryz]

Well, thanks for that explanation. Makes sense. Was Kerry out for a 50 mile ride that day?

I'm not sure I'm convinced. Kerry (according to the papers) rides on bike paths. I believe the above one is in Cambridge. And he rides with a number of Secret Service agents (and apparently with at least one cameraman). I would guess he and the agents drive to the bike path.

I'm not sure it's the same as some guy riding alone down a main highway.

[NormsRevenge]

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (news - web sites), D-Mass. , speaks during a campaign stop at Colton High School Thursday, May 6, 2004, in Colton, Calif. (AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)

[GraceCoolidge]

Oh, come on, don't wait for your midlife crisis to do up the Camaro! Nice as the Bentley is, I still prefer our 1965 Impala SS 409 .... lucky for me, my husband isn't a midlife crisis kinda guy, he's a true blue wrench from way back.....

[MeekOneGOP]

Oh, sure. Absolutely. Help yourself.

I can't remember who made that up/I got that from.

I love it too, though.

[R. Scott]

Actually, I had my mid life crisis early.
When I was 42 I married a woman (a very fantastic, perfect woman!) of 28. I brought her into my world and she introduced me to her family. World’s apart.
I’d like to have another mid life crisis, but this one calls for the little red sports car. My Camaro is white - but I’d like to see it with the paint I had on my custom ’57 XL Sportster - gold base with candy apple red top coat; heavy in the front, light toward the back.

click here for web site

[R. Scott]

In short, the biking clothes are ugly; but they are necessary.

How did I survive all those teenage years wearing jeans and a T-shirt?

[R. Scott]

Very Good!

[R. Scott]

Would Exlax help?