Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Hellz Bellz! This drives me nuts. They were up when I posted them - but then again, they were already in my cache. I can never get this right with the complicated MSN picture service. Do you know of a site that allows you to upload photos and and redirect them?

[I_dmc]

That reminds me, whats the current social acceptability rating of long hair on men? Is the "long haired hippie pot-smoking commie" reaction still the norm?

[I_dmc]

To clarify, no nose rings or other piercings, no brush or comb in back pocket, or other possible "things that reinforce a sterotype of long hairs".

[expatguy]

You could try baby oil to get it out, but it will take a while to get the baby oil rinsed out later.

Where are they gonna get the baby?

[Southern62]

I asked my wife but she was laughing too hard to respond - sorry...

[Jaysun]

I hope that this one works. I've been shaking my fist at the heavens for half an hour now! I find it impossible to use my MSN account to store the images (even though I've been paying for that service misery), so I can now comfortably say that MSN sucks like an airline toilet. It wouldn't take a lot to convince me that Bill Gates is the AntiChrist at this point. OK, I uploaded these at imagetown.net and it was a breeze. No signing up for passwords, no popups, imagetown.net is the Anti-AntiChrist.

[Jaysun]

I asked my wife but she was laughing too hard to respond - sorry...

No problemo. Where the peanut butter and the idiot were one, they are now two. We solved the problem about 24 hours ago. However, I encourage you to continue to read the thread anyway as this has turned into quite a laugh machine. When you're ready to know the fate of my brother-in-law you can go to post 463.

[proud American in Canada]

Good morning, Jaysun....

I love this thread! Thanks for the pictures. You have a lovely wife, btw. :)

[theophilusscribe]

I imagine so! Thanks!

You realize, of course, that you have created a historic moment which will undoubtedly become part of the FR culture—even as much as vey, series, moose, cheese, and SoreLoserman.

Well done! :o)

[Jaysun]

I love this thread! Thanks for the pictures. You have a lovely wife, btw. :)

Hey Good Morning! How are things going up there? I fell for the same "lovely" ploy years ago. I later discovered that it was just a trap. Sure, she may seem lovely on the surface, but she's just like a Venus fly trap. She lures you in with her scent and nice colors and it all seems great at first.....until she clamps down on you and begins dissolving your body with her saliva. Really she's - what in the hell did I just write? I had to get up for a second and when I came back and looked over this I discovered that I'd inadvertently written x rated message. I'm going to leave it as is so that you can see what I'm talking about. Anyway, my wife is great.

[Jaysun]

I imagine so! Thanks! You realize, of course, that you have created a historic moment which will undoubtedly become part of the FR culture—even as much as vey, series, moose, cheese, and SoreLoserman. Well done! :o)

Thanks. This was totally unplanned. We were just a group of sozzled oafs looking for some help. I'm glad that it's allowing all of these people to smile.

[Jaysun]

That reminds me, whats the current social acceptability rating of long hair on men? Is the "long haired hippie pot-smoking commie" reaction still the norm?

I'd like to know what moron is in charge of deciding what the newest fashion will be. The current one seems to have a fetish for refugees, because that's what he's dressing everyone up as.

I have some family in college right now. It appears to me that all of the gents are trying their damnedest to look like "Shaggy" from Scooby-Doo. The girls are no better - but it's mostly their jeans with those short crotch areas and that flared hip thing that they've got going on that makes them bad. I don't get it. I've yet to see anyone look good in those pants. It makes even the best shaped woman look like she's got a trampoline for an ass. Not to mention the way the low cut forces their pudgy little bellies over the sides of their jeans and into our public places. I'll stop.

[theophilusscribe]

That's how these magical moments happen, my FRiend! Hope your Brother In Law (and everyone else involved!) recovers from the trauma soon.

:o)

[reflecting]

That reminds me of a song

This magic moment
so different and new
was like any other
till there was no "goo"

This thread has given us all a bad case of the sillies

[RottiBiz]

Really enjoyed reading this thread! Suspense was killing me and was glad to have the mystery resolved.

Please add me to the picture ping list. Thanks.

[Jaysun]

Whatever he got in his hair, use the same thing to get it out unless it is a squashed slug! Nothing will get that out but a set of clippers.

Thanks for your help. We somehow managed to purge him of his sin yesterday. He's purified and refreshed. I have to comment on your squashed slug disclaimer. That's a very specific thing to mention, so I take it that you must have somehow managed to get a squashed slug in your hair. We used to salt them - I'm getting way off track here.

As I was saying, we've already unsoiled my bother-in-law. But, and this is a big but, there's lots of fun to be had by you. If you take some time to pour over these post I guarantee you that you'll have a hearty laugh. If you want to know the what and how of my brother-in-law's recovery you can find it on post number 463.

[Jaysun]

Really enjoyed reading this thread! Suspense was killing me and was glad to have the mystery resolved.
Please add me to the picture ping list. Thanks.

I'll convey your delight to the hairless wonder. We're having a good time over here too. We're here until Sunday. I'll put you on the list. He claims that he's got a wig in route to the lodge as we speak (I can't imagine who would bring it). If true, that should also provide some good photo opportunities. I've put you on the list. Thanks.

[Flipyaforreal]

OMG Jaysun, you are hysterical. Great pictures of you and your wife too, btw, thanks :) CanNOT wait to see the BIL, lol!!

[Jaidyn]

Thanks for the hilarious information! My hair turned orange from a coloring gone wrong, but Loreal came to the rescue. As far as the slug story goes, several years ago at our dock, I found a slug and decided to put it on a hook and catch a big catfish. (A friend put it on for me...a rough job since even he wouldn't touch the slug with his bare hands). Anyway, when I went to throw the line in the water, the slug fell off and landed in my hair. I became hysterical and the guys came to my rescue, only they were drinking beer and eating SALTY popcorn. The slug started melting in pieces (just where the salt touched it) and it took some time to get the slug [itself] out. The melted yukky part would not come out at all. We used the same crap discussed on this thread to no avail. I ended up cutting what I could off my already short hair and finally bought a baby comb to get it out. It took about three trimmings before I was satisfied it was all gone.

BTW, has your friend seen this thread? It is hilarious and could make for a good script in some off-the-wall comedy.

[Jaysun]

BTW, has your friend seen this thread? It is hilarious and could make for a good script in some off-the-wall comedy.

I haven't shown him the thread. He's really a unique bird in a lot of ways. I told someone earlier that he still considers himself "famous" because he was part of a team that won a local bowling tournament in 1997. He couldn't handle the attention.

One of the guys here is helping us think through something like that. His Dad turns 96 on Tuesday - God Bless Him - and he used to write screenplays. We feel like we could make a script for a stage play that depicts the actual event. We've been discussing what happened in detail and it's astounding what a twisty and surprising story this is.

Think about it. He ran out of hair goop and decided to try peanut butter. He avoided us - and might have worked it out alone - if his empty peanut butter jar hadn't been discovered on top of the toilet (that alone suggest something pretty wacky), then he claims that the PB's intended use was to clean something else out, but he won't tell us what that something else is. We later found out that he lied, but his initial refusal to tell what the 'mystery substance' was really makes you wonder (as demonstrated on this thread). He's then subjected to a series of bizarre treatments - that leave his hair clean while also leaving his hair in a frizzy discolored mess. Then he agrees to shave it off.

I mean, this is insane. There's a lot of coincidences that you never see coming and they all string together to leave him completely humiliated and hairless. We're going to see if it's possible to tell this story on stage in a couple of hours. If it's feasible, we'll put it together and see what happens.