Bin Laden eludes Wile E. Coyote (leftist satire alert)

Humor Gazette ^ | March 24, 2004 | John Breneman

[EveningStar]

Osama bin Laden narrowly eluded capture by an elite Special Forces unit led by Wile E. Coyote, according to an exclusive TV Guide story by investigative reporter Clark Kent.

Agent Coyote used an Acme jetpack to catch up to the speedy bin Laden on a rock-strewn dirt road in Afghanistan, but the mission was aborted when the relentless Coyote accidentally flattened himself with a 20-ton anvil meant to crush the elusive terrorist.

Pentagon sources confirm that Mr. Coyote is one of several animated agents who have volunteered to help fight for truth, justice and the American way.

Acting on sensitive intelligence developed by Beavis and Butt-head, U.S. ground forces led by Bugs Bunny and Speed Racer penetrated a suspected al Qaida compound with air support from Woody Woodpecker and Snoopy (aka the Red Baron). Popeye reportedly punched one terrorist in the face so hard that his neck stretched approximately 20 feet before his head snapped and wobbled back into place.

To help defuse tensions in the strife-torn Middle East, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld reportedly is grooming a covert unit led by Scooby-Doo, Mr. Magoo and Winnie the Pooh.

"America's arsenal of superheroes is unmatched by any nation in the world," said Rumsfeld, noting that Superman, Wonder Woman and Fat Albert stand ready for deployment to trouble spots around the globe. Rumsfeld also announced the creation of a new Internet surveillance task force headed by Mighty Mouse.

Rumsfeld said the cartoon fighters will help make the war on terror more popular among the nation's children. However, he again deflected questions about alleged financial wrongdoing by the defense contractor, Acme.

President Bush committed his full support to the cartoon initiative after a White House strategy session with Batman and Tweety Bird. The president then retreated to the Oval Office to huddle with Homer Simpson, Yogi Bear and Bullwinkle for advice on communicating his message to the American people.

[EveningStar]

All you need to know about this site:

Michael Moore cites Gazette in March 4 "Must Read"

[EveningStar]

This "satirist" views Osama as a cute little Roadrunner.

[nuconvert]

Sorry. I only got 1/3 way thru.

[kenth]

If nothing else, at least it's more direct in the showing the left's disdain for our troops. They pretend to care, but the military is nothing more than a bodycount or example of incompetence to them for use in furthering their political goals. Why else do they pretend to mock the President for not having found bin laden or wmds yet? The President is not personally searching, our guys are and they are the end targets of the vitriol of the left.

[headsonpikes]

The Left's cartoon super-hero must be Chicken Little!

[EveningStar]

No need to apologize for not wanting to read treasonous garbage.

[EveningStar]

More like Chicken****

[BykrBayb]

Even knowing it was going to be a liberal slant, I was prepared to laugh, but it wasn't funny. It was just insulting to our troops.

[Bob]

This is supposed to be humor? It's pathetic.

[EveningStar]

Pathetic is right. Casting the US as the buffoon and Bin Laden as the hero.

[LisaMalia]

Idiots. Let me add to that, traitorous idiots.

[CyberAnt]

Excuse me .. aren't these the same people who are castigating the President for making jokes about WMD ..??

And .. here they are making jokes about our soldiers hunting for Osama ..??

How come we don't see any soldiers' families getting upset about this ..??

If I have to explain .. you are on the wrong website.

[EveningStar]

Those were pretty much my first thoughts.

[EveningStar]

This guy should hook up with Michael Moore and Ted Rall. They can call themselves Traitors R Us.