The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel

The Morning News ^ | March 2, 2004 | Paul Ford

[CJ Wolf]

(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)

Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.

Assorted Jews: Crucify him!

Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].

Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.

Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.

Assorted Jews: [laughter]

Off Camera: Cut!


* * *

Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.

Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]

[Cell phone rings.]

Jesus: [hands shake furiously]

[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]

Roman soldier: Jim? That you?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Cell phone rings.]

Soldier: Want me to get it?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]

Off Camera: [laughter]

Jesus: Hey, Mom.


* * *

The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.

Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.

Judas: Hateth you.

Jesus: Who's on first, right?

Judas: [laughs]

Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?

Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!


* * *

Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).

Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]

Off Camera: What is it?

Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.

Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.

Off Camera: [laughter]


* * *

Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.

Take 3

Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]

Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!


Take 4

Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]

Off Camera: [laughter]


Take 10

Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.


Take 12

Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.


Take 14

Jesus: My God! Why have you...

[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]

Off Camera: Cut!


Take 35

Off Camera: Come on, Jim.

Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Off Camera: [Applause]

Off Camera: We got it!




Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.

[O.C. - Old Cracker]

I wrote my master's thesis...

Bwhahahaha!

[k2blader]

It's always best to stop while you're, er, ahead.

See #139...

[Moonman62]

I have to admit, "I can see my house from up here" is funny.

Yep, right until he gets struck by lightning a little bit later.

[Chunga]

"Looking at the original source, it seems real to me.

All movies have blooper reels. Don't confuse the movie with the bible. Don't confuse the actor for Jesus."

Do you really think Jim Caviezel's cell phone interrupted a take? Do you really think he kept it in his "blood-soaked loincloth?"

If you're going to make a point, please try to do it without insulting intelligences.

[Theo]

I know. One would think that it'd be fun to write on the topic of "humor," but it was a year of social-life-killing stress. It was (and is) a fascinating topic, but that thesis was a burden to write....

:-)

[LisaMalia]

I always loved that Elvis song.

[Phsstpok]

If Michelangelo while paiting the Sistine Chapel dropped some paint on a priest walking by, would THAT have been funny?

Ummmmm...... Yes?

I have a feeling the real Michelangelo would have tittered behind his hand if paint fell on a priest. I have a feeling he would have giggled out loud (until discovered) if it had hit the Pope. I know Charlton Heston and Rex Harrison probably had many moments in their movie about that great work when they "went up."

I too winced at the jokes in this piece about this movie. I also laughed. I think Jesus would have laughed too. Remember, He WAS human, no matter what you believe about his being divine. He experienced all that being human means, including the very human response to foolishness and the absurd situations that are inevitable in life. That is a big part of what makes his willing sacrifice so meaningful.

[Cooter]

Mel's Other 'Passion': Practical Jokes!

[kidd]

Several posters on this thread have made the claim "its only a movie"

However, the attempt at humor is made using the characters that the actors are portraying, rather than the actors themselves. IOW the "humorist" uses:

1) "Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here." rather than
2) "[Caviezel]: Hey! I can see my house from here."

The first is intended to be offensive; the second is simply lame.

This is another attack on Christianity.

[Celtic Conservative]

For all these people that think Jehova doesn't have a sense of humor, these is only one thing to say:

Duck-billed platypus

Funny!

I loved the movie. I have also done amateur theater. I have to agree with what others have said about humor on the set. (yes I know the source article is a lame attempt at humor and is not true). With such a serious subject matter the instinct is often to "break up" when mistakes are made, and happen often in rehearsals. It happens, and I don't believe it detracts from the message of the movie overall. And the seriousness of the subject matter also explains the various lame attempts at humor I have seen. To many the subject matter is so "heavy" and serious that they do not know how to handle it well. The result is inappropriate humor. (anybody remember the space shuttle jokes?). IT's an attempt to keep the subject matter "safe" or "at arms length". It's only human, and when I see it I don't see the jokes, I see people struggling with ideas and thoughts that are difficult to them.

CC

[longtermmemmory]

Perhaps this is borderline, but this was a MOVIE being made. Time place and manner. I am curious if they actually caught the lightning strike on film.

I don't see them doing the set upt. HOWEVER, remmber Gibson is a prankster.

BTW the house from here is a veeeeeeery old joke.

[Capriole]

It's possible that they were made up. But even if they were made up, they were exactly the sort of thing that does happen, and I'm sure did happen in the course of making this movie. Most of the goofs like this I've been a part of have been much more crude, so these were evidence of a lot of restraint on the part of cast and crew.

[nutmeg]

read later

[Rightly Biased]

My understanding is Mr. Gibson used Humor to lighten things up quite a bit during the filming of the movie.

I belive God has a sense fo humor and irony. (He gave us humor as humans)

Frogs as a plauge that is wrought with humor and irony.

Worship the True Christ not the actors or the movie

[Ciexyz]

Cool, the actors needed something to relieve the grimness.

[gitmo]

C138,
Some of us are still in a daze from the impact from the movie. This can be an intrusion on that continuing experience.

That being said, a couple of these are really funny, assuming they really happened. The mote in the eye, and "I can see my house" especially.

It is a movie. I think God had His hand in the movie. And I hope they had some fun while they made it.

[PJ-Comix]

Wouldn't the dialogue be in Aramaic?

[freedumb2003]

My God has a sense of humor. I know this after looking around at my coworkers.

I know so by looking in a mirror.

[mikrofon]

Take 33

Jesus: My God, my God! .... Why have you-

[Second lightning strike]

Off Camera: Pop goes Caviezel

CUT!

[mikrofon]

Mel clowns it up on the 'Passion' set.