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The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel
The Morning News ^
| March 2, 2004
| Paul Ford
Posted on 03/03/2004 8:14:52 AM PST by CJ Wolf
(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)
Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.
Assorted Jews: Crucify him!
Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].
Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.
Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.
Assorted Jews: [laughter]
Off Camera: Cut!
* * *
Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.
Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]
[Cell phone rings.]
Jesus: [hands shake furiously]
[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]
Roman soldier: Jim? That you?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
Soldier: Want me to get it?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Jesus: Hey, Mom.
* * *
The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.
Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.
Judas: Hateth you.
Jesus: Who's on first, right?
Judas: [laughs]
Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?
Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!
* * *
Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).
Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]
Off Camera: What is it?
Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.
Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.
Off Camera: [laughter]
* * *
Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.
Take 3
Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]
Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!
Take 4
Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Take 10
Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.
Take 12
Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.
Take 14
Jesus: My God! Why have you...
[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]
Off Camera: Cut!
Take 35
Off Camera: Come on, Jim.
Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Off Camera: [Applause]
Off Camera: We got it!
Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.
|
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: thepassion
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To: Ichneumon
I never "belittle or mock" people merely for trying to be "righteous". I do, however, sometimes point out when people are edging towards looking like a parody of the real thing. And seeing "evil -- evil, evil, evil, did I mention evil?" in a lighthearted bit of comedy is not only a gross misapplication of the true meaning of "evil", it's like the Church Lady character that sees "SATAN!!!" behind every little thing she personally disapproves of. Have you ever wondered why the "Church Lady" was invented? I wonder how many people were deterred from being too "churchy" or too much like the "Church Lady" because of the mockery.
As for me "dwelling on it" or seeing evil everywhere because...heck, I can't get your logic so I won't even try to summarize it. But, anyway, if you look at my posting history you will see no evidence to support your assertions. Just click on my name and then click "Find in Forum".
181
posted on
03/03/2004 1:26:59 PM PST
by
Spiff
(Don't believe everything you think.)
To: Psalm 73; PonyTailGuy; Bryan24; Centurion2000; nmh; Spiff; Right_Handed_Writer; Kaslin; Hon; ...
My opinion? - No, I don't think it was like the set of "CaddyShack". From Jim Caviezel's call to Rush Limbaugh (trascript and audio file at that link):
"Ripped my hands out of the chains, and collapsed. And then after that, Mel tried to lighten up the situation. He started wearing the Bonzo nose and (laughter)."
If Gibson can wear a clown nose while directing this film, I'd say that the folks who found the "outtakes" humorous were more on the mark than the folks who were indignant due to their belief that such levity could/would/should never occur during the filming of such a movie.
From the same call:
CAVIEZEL: Yes. I got struck by lightning, and (laughter) about three seconds before it hit I knew it was going to happen. It was like you were in the eye of a storm or something, like in a hurricane. RUSH: Did you wonder (laughter) what was going on when these things were happening?
CAVIEZEL: Yeah, I looked up in the sky and said, "You didn't like that take, eh?"
And:
"During the scourging scene, I got hit. When they came in with these whips, they were supposed to hit a metal board behind me, but one of them hit me square in the back. You know what happened? I went 'ouch' and I couldn't breathe. It was an automatic response. When the guy hit me, I said something I shouldn't have. I added, 'I know I am playing Jesus, but I feel like Satan right now.'"
Actors (and directors) joke around and laugh on sets, even this one. I'm sorry if that offends some people.
To: Spiff
Have you ever wondered why the "Church Lady" was invented? Yes, because unfortunately there *are* some people who mistake their personal dislikes for "the work of Satan", and so on.
I wonder how many people were deterred from being too "churchy" or too much like the "Church Lady" because of the mockery.
Not enough, since there are still folks "too much like the Church Lady" around, who use their religious beliefs as an excuse for condemning everything they don't themselves like, and trying to pass the buck for their own smugness off to God or Satan.
As for me "dwelling on it" or seeing evil everywhere because...heck, I can't get your logic so I won't even try to summarize it.
Try reading my first post to you again, I believe I was quite clear.
But, anyway, if you look at my posting history you will see no evidence to support your assertions.
I see enough evidence right here in this very thread. Your ability to see "evil" in a bit of humor makes your view clear. Anyone who can write, "We're all just seeing evil at work" when they read something like the piece that started this thread is capable of "seeing" evil just about anywhere they choose to, and apparently chooses to at the drop of a hat.
To: Ichneumon
Actors (and directors) joke around and laugh on sets, even this one. I'm sorry if that offends some people. We know this. However, the blooper reel that is the subject of this thread was INVENTED. It didn't happen. The author is mocking the film and thereby those who were moved by the film. I explained clearly in an earlier why the film would be mocked.
184
posted on
03/03/2004 1:41:27 PM PST
by
Spiff
(Don't believe everything you think.)
To: Spiff
However, the blooper reel that is the subject of this thread was INVENTED. It didn't happen. OK, so these are not the actual outtakes. Are you claiming this film had no outtakes? Or that it is blasphemy to speculate on the content of the outtakes?
185
posted on
03/03/2004 1:50:49 PM PST
by
Alouette
(Mitul d'min kadam Shemayo malchusa v'shalim b'ammaya)
To: Ichneumon; Spiff
Perhaps Spiff himself is evil pretending to be good. Which is it Spiff, do you consider yourself Good or Evil?
And how do you know?
If you don't mind me asking.
186
posted on
03/03/2004 1:51:43 PM PST
by
CJ Wolf
To: Spiff
[Actors (and directors) joke around and laugh on sets, even this one. I'm sorry if that offends some people.] We know this.
Tell that to the folks who bristled at the idea that anyone would show levity on the set of *this* film.
However, the blooper reel that is the subject of this thread was INVENTED. It didn't happen.
That doesn't make it not funny, or automatically offensive.
The author is mocking the film and thereby those who were moved by the film.
I'm sure it looks that way through your "evil is everywhere" glasses, but that doesn't make it true. Try reading the author's emails.
I explained clearly in an earlier why the film would be mocked.
Yes, and I explained clearly why I thought you were going overboard.
You seem determined to see "evil" and "mocking" in even the most inconsequential of things.
To: Ichneumon
Please leave me out of your pings. I have no interest in reading you go on about this.
I suspect I have been on a hellavu lot more movie sets than you. I know that levity goes on in the most pious of situations. So whateth?
My points were simple. This blooper reel does not exist. The writer made it up. The jokes the writer used were not particulary fresh or funny--or even plausible.
But PLEASE DO GO ON BEATING YOUR CHEST about how you aren't offended by this and therefore no one else should ever be. It is so INTERESTING!
188
posted on
03/03/2004 2:09:59 PM PST
by
Hon
To: Ichneumon
Actors (and directors) joke around and laugh on sets, even this one That may be, but it doesn't mean that Gibson is going to allow the outtakes to be seen by the public. It would destroy the mood. When I see a movie, I want to believe the sets and the monsters are real. It's like seeing the animatronics for Jurassic Park and then seeing the movie. The willing suspension of disbelief is much harder to accomplish after you've seen the ropes and painted backgrounds. After you've seen Caviezel talking on his cell phone and using obscenities, it is that much harder to believe he's Jesus. It's the same reason I can no longer see movies with Tim Robbins or Sean Penn or Janeane Garafalo in them. Knowing that they are America-hating idiots makes it impossible to believe the heroic or benign characters they portray in their movies.
189
posted on
03/03/2004 2:21:07 PM PST
by
giotto
To: biblewonk
Amen!
190
posted on
03/03/2004 2:26:17 PM PST
by
newgeezer
(Just my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary. You have the right to be wrong.)
To: CJ Wolf
Not real. They weren't speaking English.
191
posted on
03/03/2004 2:32:17 PM PST
by
Sloth
(We cannot defeat foreign enemies of the Constitution if we yield to the domestic ones.)
To: CJ Wolf
ROFLMAO!
To: Bryan24
What makes you say that? Cavaziel was struck by lightning, you know.
To: biblewonk; newgeezer
What I find lurking in the background is this... Catholics have been brought up with a rich background of statues and candles and artwork and are used to looking at these things as a visual reminder of Him... this movie is another one of those beautiful, visual reminders - but not the real thing.
I wonder if the problem is that maybe non-Catholics or non-High Anglicans or non-Missouri Synod Lutherans are coming from a more aesthetic background that eschews statues and artwork and other things like candles or altars or stations of the cross (the movie depicted the stations) or the rosary (the movie depicted the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary) and they are having a hard time separating artwork depicting Jesus with Jesus himself?
I know I am not wording this well, but what do you think?
To: dead
I'm sure they had some chuckles, but this is just stereotypical and goofy. Yeah, like Mel wearing a clown nose on the set, or James looking up and saying "you didn't like that take, huh?" after he was zotted.
Oh wait, those things did happen.
To: Capriole
From my experience, these exchanges sound right on target.I agree. I found them very realistic as well. Too realistic and mild for them to have been made up by someone trying to cause trouble.
IOW, if they were made up outtakes, they would have been much worse.
To: stands2reason
They were made up...
197
posted on
03/03/2004 3:03:28 PM PST
by
k2blader
(Some folks should worry less about how conservatives vote and more about how to advance conservatism)
To: stands2reason
You really actually believe that, while shackled to a stone being whipped, Caviezel had his cellphone tucked into his bloody loincloth?
Some people will believe anything!
198
posted on
03/03/2004 3:03:55 PM PST
by
dead
(I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
To: love n hate tattoo
You don't know. Your opinion.
To: Ichneumon
If youre looking for trouble
You came to the right place
If youre looking for trouble
Just look right in my face
I was born standing up
And talking back
My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack
Because Im evil, my middle name is misery
Well Im evil, so dont you mess around with me
Ive never looked for trouble
But Ive never ran
I dont take no orders
From no kind of man
Im only made out
Of flesh, blood and bone
But if youre gonna start a rumble
Dont you try it on alone
Because Im evil, my middle name is misery
Well Im evil, so dont you mess around with me
Im evil, evil, evil, as can be
Im evil, evil, evil, as can be
So dont mess around dont mess around dont mess around with me
Im evil, Im evil, evil, evil
So dont mess around, dont mess around with me
Im evil, I tell you Im evil
So dont mess around with me
Yeah!
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