Morford: Now, That's San Francisco (gay marriage ceremonies re-ignite urban pride)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, February 18, 2004 | Mark Morford, incontinent and proud!

[presidio9]

Friendly sex shops. Peet's. Dog parks. Stellar restaurants. Superlative tattoo artists. Fabulous weather. Unparalleled natural beauty. Organic foods. Fewer SUVs, more Priuses. Mission burritos. An overwhelming anti-Schwarzenegger sentiment. Sushi. Bush never visits.

There are things that make you happy to live in San Francisco, truly grateful, along with plenty of things that make you hyper-aware that you live in the country's most progressive open-minded convoluted messed-up liberal bubble, for both good and ill.

[Salman]

Note that the first thing he mentions about the place is the friendly sex shops.

You undoubtedly can find friendly sex shops in New York City, Boston or Chicago. But a "gay" guy from one of those towns would probably mention reataurants first.

[jimt]

A small group of conservatives, one a lawyer, needs to take action.

First, a group of say five, needs to go in and demand a license for their "marriage".

Next, a guy needs to go in and demand a license to "marry" his dog.

Third, another conservative needs to enter and demand a license to "marry" his car.

Then the lawyer needs to file a twelve gazillion dollar suit against the city clerk and the mayor if the licenses are not granted, or hold a press conference with his clients if they are. If homosexuals have the right to redefine the thousands of years old institution of marriage, there is absolutely no reason why it should stop at "two" or at "persons".

The homosexuals pushing this need to be shown up for the lunatics that they are.

[cspackler]

Ms. Morford forgot to mention among Frisco's "virtues" that they're subsidized by other people's (both state and federal) taxes

Absolutely. Have you ever been to SF? I've been put there on a couple of occaisions (one was during Halloween, please don't make me revisit THAT one...). I am still shocked at how expensive everything there is. Must be due to the cost of all of those wonderful "programs" they all love so much. Just another way of making someone else pay for what they thingk that they "deserve"

[dfwgator]

What that town needs is an enema (of course they'd probably love that).

[Rutles4Ever]

The judges that punted on this are absolutely out of their minds. There is absolutely no reason for a delay until March 29th to review this matter. The law is in black and white.

Any bets on which city will be next to disregard the will of the people?

Between abortion, gay marriage, cloning, and the cesspool mass media, the goats have clearly marked which side they are on.

Welcome the United Sewer of America.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

You wanna know what the really weird thing is, though...?

These past few weeks: there's scarcely any substantial, quantifiable difference between Morford's breathless fairy bleatings, and the piffle on Andy Sullivan's site.

[KarlInOhio]

I wish they took over Gary Indiana instead.

Gary is smart enough to export its home grown freak show.

[richardtavor]

If I were Morford, I would constantly check my position in relation to the San Andreas fault--because he will soon be sailing into the Pacific....

[Eala]

Countdown until the overzealous Admin Mod yanks the photo:
3... 2... 1...
posted on 02/18/2004 7:34:08

T + 1:21:nn and counting

[presidio9]

T + 1:21:nn and counting

That's because he's been busy with, um, more important duties and responsibilities.

[general_re]

[3catsanadog]

To hear these people talk, one would think that only gays have achieved true enlightenment in love and romance. That the depth of their love is something straights can only wish and hope to attain. That heterosexual love still is a neanderthal bopping his beloved's head with a club and taking her back to the cave.

[3catsanadog]

But I might have part of an answer. From what I can glean from some of my hate mail and the general conservative outcry, here is what the homophobes fear about same-sex marriage: bestiality.

No, stupid. That's down the road. What we fear is the slippery slope of changing age of consent laws so we can't even protect our own children. Of perverted gays using marriage to adopt children so they have their own play toy 24/7 in their own homes.

When this comes to pass, I may personally take this guy's epistle and shove it back in his face.

[3catsanadog]

The SF Mayor ordered his clerk's office to issue marriage certificates to homosexual couples.

One wonders that if the clerk's refused to disobey the law, the Mayor would have fired them for not breaking the law.

[3catsanadog]

Yep. Don't forget what we taxpayers are shelling out in AIDS research, and medicine for people who spend their free time looking for others to infect or catch the virus.

[3catsanadog]

If Time's Man/Person/Thing of the year 2004 is 2 queers kissing, I won't be surprised.

[Sam's Army]

Can't believe its still there....must be lunchtime or "bathroom break".

[Blue Scourge]

what...no barf alert..

[hattend]

When AIDS activists promote F'ing over abstinence for people with AIDS, I just don't think they're interested in stopping the disease or have AIDS victims' best interests at heart.

AIDS is easier to get under control than a cold or flu outbreak. StopAids.org indeed.

[Fraulein]

you live in the country's most progressive open-minded convoluted messed-up liberal bubble, for both good and ill.

Morford is living in a convoluted messed up bubble alright. His brain.

His cutesy naive saccharine false blah blah blah is nauseating. This guy always tries WAY too hard to keep convincing himself and everyone else just how great he has it. But the real truth about Mr. MORFORD is quite obvious: Obssessive-compulsive disorder, severe perversion, paranoia, narcissism, immaturity, delusions of granduer, borderline psychosis, dissociative flights of fancy; and every article appears as yet another predictable reenactment of some form of trauma repetition.

Look past the conflated and overused string of adverbs; look past the latent perverse symbolism, look past the frequent glib self-questioning ("What, too fluffy?"); look past all of the run on sentences and comma splices...and one will soon discover that he is trying desperately to compenate for something that is not there. His technique has become tired and predictably the same. He may think that he is creative and liberated, but clearly his mind is enslaved within the trap of some very specific psychological obsessions, which just get repeated from one article to another, over and over again, like a constant loop. YAWN.

In fact, when he is writing he becomes so very self-entertained and amused with himself that in the end any argument or content will have been abandoned and sacrificed for the sake of his merely attempting to find ways to construct sentences around certain words and phrases that he happens to like. Obssessional. And probably also a mama's boy.

MORFORD GET SOME MEDICATION AND A BETTER EDITOR