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Dean Connects With Indian Group (Humor)
Self | January 2, 2004 | Sloth

Posted on 01/02/2004 12:34:27 PM PST by Sloth

[SIOUX CITY, IA] -- Vermont Governor Howard Dean, presumptive front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination, made a brief campaign stop at yesterday's monthly conference of the Western Iowa Association of Indian-Americans. Chairman Sanjeev Sharma, M.D., and Vice Chairman Naveen Kumar commenced the meeting with some introductory remarks about the upcoming caucuses, Bobby Jindal's recent gubernatorial race in Louisiana and the outsourcing of technical employment to India-based firms.

Shortly thereafter, Governor Dean appeared from behind a curtain sporting buckskin pants, war paint and what appeared to be a child's plastic headdress. The Governor enthusiastically saluted the crowd with the Atlanta Braves' "Tomahawk chop" and an improvised rain dance.

"How. It heap big honor, be here with you," Dean began. "Me thank you and Great Spirit for chance to have pow-wow." Dean smiled and bowed to Sharma, saying, "You great medicine man. Me medicine man, too. Me proud to call you kemosabe."

"Me here on sad occasion, " the governor continued, turning to face the crowd. "Big chief Bush, him send heap many braves and squaws, fight in Iraq. Many braves and squaws scalped. If me big chief, no braves and squaws die. Me smoke-um peace pipe with Iraq."

The candidate then turned to domestic issues. "Me made chief of Vermont tribe many moons ago. Me heap experienced with budget process and fiscal mechanisms. If me big chief, me give you much wampum! Big chief Bush give no wampum, make squaws and papooses starve. Bush no help braves stop drinking firewater."

"Indians good," Mr. Dean concluded. "Dean good. Bush bad. May Great Spirit bless America."

Reaction was mixed within the audience. WIAIA board member Vinaya Chandrasekhar, an immigrant from Jamshedpur who works as an engineering consultant, seemed somewhat put out by the brevity and simplicity of Dean's message. "I do not understand why he said the things he did. I do not think he properly understands our interests," she said.

In contrast, Greg Packer, a highway maintenance worker from New York (not a member of the group), was very supportive of the governor's statements. "Me think chief Dean right on. War bad. Bush bad. Dean good. Dean make-um heap good big chief."

After the speech, Dean spoke with reporters and elaborated on his campaign strategy. "I try to reach out to people where they are. I want to show every demographic that I'm sensitive to their concerns and needs. These people are America. They're who I am. I am an Indian. I'm a poor migrant farm worker. I'm a teenage incest victim who needs an abortion. I'm a gun-toting bigot. Yo soy una soccer mom. That's the message we're trying to get across."

The governor said he prepared for the visit by listening to Paul Revere & the Raiders' Indian Reservation during the drive from the airport.

Dean subsequently made several other stops in the tri-country area; at the last, a speech before a chapter of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, he somberly recounted memories from his childhood. "I was watching a NASCAR game last week, and during half-time, I started thinking about how much I personally owe to organized labor. Growing up black in rural Mississippi was not easy. Before supper every night, Dick Gephardt's dad would remind our family that the union was the only reason there was food on our table."

"Me Howard Dean. Me next President of United States."


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: dean
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To: Sloth
Reaction was mixed within the audience. WIAIA board member Vinaya Chandrasekhar, an immigrant from Jamshedpur who works as an engineering consultant, seemed somewhat put out by the brevity and simplicity of Dean's message. "I do not understand why he said the things he did. I do not think he properly understands our interests," she said

This was my favorite part. The Clueless Indian Immigrant. Sometimes they just totally don't get us. Can't you just hear it?
61 posted on 01/04/2004 3:25:36 PM PST by johnb838 (Understand the root causes of AMERICAN anger.)
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To: Sloth
Thanks for the ping!

Dean subsequently made several other stops in the tri-country area; at the last, a speech before a chapter of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, he somberly recounted memories from his childhood. "I was watching a NASCAR game last week, and during half-time, I started thinking about how much I personally owe to organized labor. Growing up black in rural Mississippi was not easy. Before supper every night, Dick Gephardt's dad would remind our family that the union was the only reason there was food on our table."

This was the perfect clincher to a superbly hilarious piece...LOL!

62 posted on 01/04/2004 4:09:14 PM PST by LucyJo
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To: Sloth
MY GOD, this guy is an idiot!! a heap big idiot!!
63 posted on 01/04/2004 4:21:29 PM PST by Canadian Outrage (All us Western Canuks belong South!!)
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To: Mo1
Mo, if the Demorats aren't embarassed by this, then there's no hope for them. This is the most idiotic thing I have seen to date. The guy is a horses A$$!! heap big one at that.
64 posted on 01/04/2004 4:25:53 PM PST by Canadian Outrage (All us Western Canuks belong South!!)
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To: Sloth

ROTFLOL! Excellent!
Thanks for the ping!

65 posted on 01/04/2004 4:34:17 PM PST by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: johnb838; Sloth
Yes, Vinaya really made it special. Good job sloth, ping when you post more.
66 posted on 01/04/2004 4:55:05 PM PST by NonValueAdded ("Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists." GWB 9/20/01)
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To: SAMWolf
PERFECT!!
67 posted on 01/04/2004 5:00:13 PM PST by Mo1 (House Work, If you do it right , will kill you!)
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To: Canadian Outrage
Mo, if the Demorats aren't embarassed by this, then there's no hope for them.

Yep .. but they think in their mind there is hope

Should be fun to watch them implode

68 posted on 01/04/2004 5:01:26 PM PST by Mo1 (House Work, If you do it right , will kill you!)
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To: Mo1
I think they will impode. They are getting nastier and nastier amongst themselves. Dean sounds like a good Candidate for Ontario and Quebec.
69 posted on 01/04/2004 5:05:05 PM PST by Canadian Outrage (All us Western Canuks belong South!!)
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To: Sloth
Thanks also for the Ping! Too funny! :D
70 posted on 01/04/2004 6:04:24 PM PST by GOPCajunLady (Secretary of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy)
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To: Sloth
LOL. Thanks for the ping.
71 posted on 01/04/2004 10:38:01 PM PST by Bubba_Leroy
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To: Sloth
Another great from a master of sarcasm.

Got to listen to Rush for a few minutes this morning while I was trying to get out the door to work.

Little ole Howie's Mom stuck her foot in his mouth recently. It is apparantly a family trait.

During an interview she intimated that they really weren't that afflent. Howie had to room in the dining room after his birth because they didn't have room for the live in nurse otherwise...
72 posted on 01/05/2004 11:31:24 AM PST by TASMANIANRED (black dogs are my life)
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To: Sloth
Funny stuff
thanks for the ping
73 posted on 01/05/2004 4:01:37 PM PST by firewalk
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To: MeeknMing
Thanks for the ping, M&M!
74 posted on 01/05/2004 8:45:44 PM PST by potlatch (Whenever I feel 'blue', I start breathing again.)
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To: kalt
*PING*
75 posted on 01/07/2004 7:18:28 AM PST by AuH2ORepublican (Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.)
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To: Sloth; NormsRevenge
"I was watching a NASCAR game last week, and during half-time,

Roflmao!

Norm, it's only one reference, but it is something in the depths of January. ;-)

76 posted on 01/07/2004 10:36:51 AM PST by StriperSniper (Sending the Ba'thist to the showers! ;-)
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