A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....12-11-03....The Metrosexual Nine and Gore's Endorsement

JohnHuang2; Billie | JohnHuang2

[Billie]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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The Metrosexual Nine & Gore's Endorsement

by JohnHuang2

Democrat presidential hopeful John Edwards recently told a crowd of Iowans that, to win the White House, a candidate must frame his campaign, not around anger, but around optimism. "We don't need more anger in this campaign; we need answers," said the Breck Girl, rookie U.S. Senator from North Carolina. Candidates must look to the future, not dwell on the past.

To show he really, really means it, Edwards on Saturday blasted the President, angrily accusing Bush of stealing the 2000 election in Florida. (Bush apparently accomplished this theft by outrageously getting more voters to the polls than Al Gore).

"We will never forget what happened to Al Gore and Joe Lieberman almost three years ago," declared a forward-looking Edwards, offering delegates to Florida's state convention more anger in this campaign. "We had more votes. We won!" he bellowed. The audience erupted into cheers (It then became apparent there weren't many fans of Katherine Harris in this crowd).

Vowing to avenge Florida 2000, Edwards told the 5,000 convention delegates that "Democrats will win the White House back the old-fashion way -- by counting every vote." Counting every vote unless they're military votes. Democrats like John Edwards believe so deeply in this principle of counting every vote that they fight tooth and nail daily in the U.S. Senate to block counting every vote. They do this through filibusters. (The only thing more ambitious than building a democracy in Iraq is building a democracy in the Senate).

In the mid-term elections last November, Democrats in Florida came close to avenging Election 2000, with Gov. Jeb Bush barely crushing Democrat challenger Bill McBride by 14 percentage points -- 57 percent to 43 percent -- and Republicans barely sweeping Democrats from all statewide offices. Setting aside all these landslide Democrat defeats, it was close! So close, in fact, that Democrats vow to almost defeat Jeb Bush again in 2006 (oh wait, he can't run again -- term limits).

(Democrats say Gore won Florida but the U.S. Supreme Court stopped the "recount." Democrats also note that Gore lost Florida because of Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, who drained votes from Gore).

White House hopeless John F. Kerry also blasted the President, angrily accusing Bush of stealing the 2000 election in Florida. "Florida is the place where America's democracy was wounded," said Kerry, who served in Vietnam. It was then that Kerry stunned convention delegates by revealing a deeply kept secret: That he served in Vietnam!

Seeking a more ennobling and edifying campaign approach than his rivals, Kerry has recently taken to using the F-word in his sharp attacks on Bush. (More ennobling still, expect to see rapper Eminem as Kerry campaign spokesman any day now). Asked to apologize by White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card, the Kerry campaign took the high road, claiming Bush made him do it because Bush may have used the F-word in 1999. Kerry also noted that he served in Vietnam -- and that Bush didn't. (In all honesty, did I expect John Kerry to go off to the Left and say, 'I'm against everything Bush'? Sure. Did I expect John Kerry to [expletive] it up as badly as he did? I don't think anybody did).

Tired former Army General Wesley Clark, addressing the convention from 15,000 ft above, also blasted the President, angrily accusing Bush of stealing the 2000 election in Florida. "I never thought that the front line for democracy would be in the United States, and in this beautiful state," he said, claiming he witnessed "the taking" of the presidency by Bush in Election 2000. So appalled, so horrified was Clark at the GOP's "taking" of democracy, that he slipped into shock on the night of the "taking". The state of shock lasted 3 years. During this period, Clark unknowingly gave GOP fund-raising speeches (captured on video) and sang the praises of Bush and top aids, recovering from shock just in time to run for president. "I'm very glad we've got a great team in office, men like Colin Powell, Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice ... people I know very well -- our president George W. Bush. We need them there," Clark declared at a GOP fundraising dinner in Little Rock back in May, 2001. But that doesn't count because Clark was in shock at the time. He was still in shock 8 months later, when he lavished even more praise on the Bush administration. In a speech at Harding University in Arkansas (also captured on video), he said this: "I tremendously admire, and I think we all should, the great work done by our commander-in-chief, our president, George Bush." (To be fair, Clark, NATO commander under Clinton, says he really "wasn't a public figure" when he said those nice things about Bush. He really, really wanted to condemn Bush for stealing the election, and would've if he could, but he couldn't because -- other than a CNN gig and the lecture circuit -- he had no public platform. An odd explanation because, as CNN military analyst, Clark commanded a mammoth audience -- sometimes as many 20 fat couch potatoes). Anyway, "I believe that this country needed to move on," said Clark, and that's why he raised money for a party that he said stole the White House.

"Everything that you care about ... is vanishing," thundered Rep. Dick Gephardt, newly pasted eyebrows falling off as he pounded the podium in anger. "Our good jobs are vanishing. Our civil rights are vanishing. Our clean air and clean water is vanishing." (Bush is on the phone all day ordering companies to layoff workers, while Karl Rove dumps loads of arsenic in drinking water! Creating as much unemployment as possible, poisoning the air and water -- what marvelous techniques for winning elections!). And if losing good jobs, civil rights, clean air and clean water weren't bad enough, even "Osama bin Laden has vanished. Saddam Hussein has vanished," said Gephardt (I want my bin Laden back!). "There is only one way to fix the problem," noted Gephardt, whose top advisers includes noted scholar Barbra Streisand. "We've got to make George Bush vanish!" The crowd went wild. But in case you think those words don't resonate beyond that crowd, think again: Al-Qaeda cheered as well.

Meanwhile, Howard Dean, dean of Metrosexuals, got the coveted endorsement of fellow Metrosexual Al Gore (strange -- don't Democrats say Gore's the 'real' president? Shouldn't Gore be running for a second term?). The move by Gore, announced Tuesday morning at a fundraiser in Harlem, could broaden Dean's appeal from hard-Left-grassy-knoll-kook-antiwar to harder-Lefter-grassy-knoller-kooker-antiwar.

"I have come to the conclusion that in a field of great candidates, one candidate clearly now stands out," said Gore, as right-wing extremists on Wall Street drove the Dow above 10,000, all to make Gore and Dean look bad and Bush look good on the economy. (For the record, Al did not kiss Dean for nearly 3 minutes during the endorsement).

"So," said Gore, "I am asking all of you to join in this great movement to elect Howard Dean president of the United States." To the other '04 Titans in this field of Titans, Gore says "keep (your) eyes on the prize. This nation cannot afford to have four more years of a Bush administration." (Democrats aren't the only ones who cannot afford to have 4 more years of Bush. Neither can Al-Qaeda).

"This is huge," declared Donna Brazile, who engineered Gore's brilliant 30-state defeat 3 years ago. She added that "It gives Dean what Dean has been missing most: Stature." A silly thing to say of a former governor of MEGA-state Vermont. Dean's command of foreign policy already is formidable. So formidable, he recently offered Bush poignant advice on dealing with the Soviet Union. I think he even knows how many are actively serving in the military. (Hubby to wife: Honey, can't wait to entrust our security to the Deanie-Babies! Kewl!).

To be fair, Democrats say we aren't any safer today than before 9/11. So unsafe is America today, that Democrats in Florida chose an obscure, little-known location to hold their convention: Disney World. Democrats also accuse Bush of manufacturing fear about another 9/11, as if America weren't any safer today than before 9/11. Fear is just a ploy to get re-elected!

On a radio show recently, Dean linked Bush to 9/11, claiming there are theories that Bush got advance warning from the Saudis. His gaffe ignited a firestorm, forcing Dean to quickly retract.

Which begs the question: Why is Dean so gaffe-prone?

There are many theories about it. The most interesting theory that I've heard so far -- which is nothing more than a theory, it can't be proved -- is that his brain never gets advance warning before he shoots his mouth off. Now who knows what the real situation is?

;-)

Anyway, that's...

My two cents

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[deadhead]

"Hey - I resemble that graphic!!"

LOL

[LadyX]

Thank you, Colleen. Yes - I watched the presentation, and thoroughly enjoyed it....now if we only had that kind of budget and the crew to execute our ideas...oh, yes - and a HUGH HOUSE into which to put it all..:))

Actually, it was replayed around 1 a.m. and I saw parts of it again.

[LadyX]

Need to leave for a while and work on dinner.
Will be back later....

[deadhead]

"now if we only had that kind of budget and the crew to execute our ideas...oh, yes - and a HUGH HOUSE into which to put it all"

LOL, I know! Kind of dismisses the thoughts of the Dim's I work with, they seem to think that all Republicans are RICH. They just don't get it.

Have to do some work around my home tonight. Christmas will be celebrated at my house. Some work, yikes...I have lots to do :-)

[deadhead]

Dim's should be Dem's

[firewalk]

Hello LadyX (-:
(thanks for the ping)

Hope all is well with you

[dutchess]

Another quick drive-by billie, sistahs and finest friends...Boy billie...I would have been an absolute mess if the double post thing happened to me! Instead you and our finest friends turned it into great fun...Almost sorry the other one was deleted :)

Am embarking on an attitude adjustment. Although I'm busy and a little stressed I'm going to post something next that I received in email today....it kind of yanked me back into thinking what really matters....

[dutchess]

This is my busiest time of year work wise...plus am "hosting" the family gathering next weekend and have been "consumed" the past week or so. I've actually been the posterchild for BahHumbug the past few days. Received this email today and it was...exactly what I needed. Sorry if this is a repeat for some of you....But it sure helped me remember "WHAT MATTERS"...

"This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.

She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

Finally the elevator doors opened and it was already nearly full... She pushed her way in , dragged her two kids with her, plus all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."

From the back of the elevator everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry we already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the elevator it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.

Merry Christmas to all of you and don't forget to say an extra prayer for our troops overseas. Our veterans are the ones who gave their all so we are free to practice our own beliefs, including the reason we celebrate Christmas. God bless them.

[dixie sass]

Dutchess, I got that yesterday. I shut everything down and just thought about what it said for a long time. Thanks for posting it here at the "Finest".

[deadhead]

Thank You for sharing this wonderful email with us. Like you, I will be hosting Christmas at my home. I have been just a little stressed, OK...a lot stressed. This email snapped me out of it! OK, back to chores in the home....

P.S. I have sent this on to family and friends

[Kudsman]

Candidates must look to the future, not dwell on the past. To show he really, really means it, Edwards on Saturday blasted the President, angrily accusing Bush of stealing the 2000 election in Florida.

Great tongue in cheek reporting. The Dwarves would make good modern day Keystone Cop actors. Come on Senator isn't your handler's handle MOVEON? Move on.

I never really stopped to check out these Finest threads before, but I'm enjoying them immensely now. Love the satire humor. Thx Cal.

[M Kehoe]

Top o' the evening to you two.

Carving up 9 dwarfs with words like a k-bar on a Christmas turkey. Man, that was good.

Fwiw, Ketchup boy must know something we don't. Otherwise, he would get out of the race, and save his wife some money. Braun and Sharpton just want face time, and if they get lucky, matching Federal funds (very long shot). The Breck girl and LIEberman are crying because algore swapped spit with Dean (and the Deaniacs. a rock band). And poor ol' Wesley is out there like a third wheel on a date.

Methinks the harpy jumps into the water in March to save the party. Or what's left of it after McAwful is done.

< /Rant>

5.56mm

[Fawnn]

I'll try this again. I posted to the thread this morning and then wondered why the thread header in my "My Comments" area was blue and nobody was posting today. I started to get paranoid that I'd scared everybody away. Like: Maybe I was only supposed to lurk, not apologize for a decrease in multi-thread-tasking ability that leaves me only lurking and enjoying your threads and appreciating your pings from afar! Then, imagine the degree of my paranoia when I find that by posting, I not only scared everybody off, I caused the entire thread to be pulled! (Do I have an over-inflated opinion of my powers or lack of them? LOL) Anyhoo, let's try this again:


Another wonderful column, JohnHuang2!!!

Thanks Billie -- and the rest of the "FR's Finest" Crew!!!

[Fawnn]

I don't know whether or not you had a chance to see my earlier question. After you'd posted the news about some restaurants offering low carb menus, I'd asked:

Do you by any chance have a recipe for low carb Mountain Dew? ;)

I'll add some explanation that I didn't this morning: I can't handle artificial sweeteners, so I can't drink the "Diet." I'm hoping to make a "syrup" using Whey Low -- a low carb sweetener I can use! Then I can mix that syrup with seltzer water. I'm sure that with some trial and error, I can probably come up with something close; however, if somebody's already come up with such a recipe....

[Fawnn]

It's not only been one of those days, I'm beginning to think it's one of those lifetimes! Anyhoo, I meant to ping you to Post #93, too. Oops!

[WVNan]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....ROTFLOL. That's a funny line Dave.

[WVNan]

Glad you dropped by Kudsman. As you can see the folks here sometimes go to bed early. Me, now I'm the night owl and usually come here and talk to myself. Then there are nights when my cyber "Sistah", LadyX and myself have heated discussion over latenight coffee concerning which of us Momma loved the best. There have been times when DiverDave has donned his referee suit and blew the whistle on us, and called a foul. Looks like tonight is my night to lock up and turn off the lights. That signals the folks in California that it's time for their shift to start. Hope you will check in more often. We're silly, but fun.

[MEG33]

Lots of fun with the dwarves,John and Billie,your layout and hostess pictures are Purrr fect!

[Dubya]

I wish I could help you, but I don't know of any. Atkins says we can use Splenda. Carlos may have some info you can use.

[Bob J]

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