Morford: The Hot Porn Of Pottery Barn (Think Abercrombie & Fitch is racy?)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, December 3, 2003 | Mark Morford, Wears Mostly Rhinestones, Vinal & Feathers

[presidio9]

Here it comes again, another dumbly predictable, panicky little outcry from terrified parents' groups and petrified dads all aflutter over the recent sexed-up, "racy" Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, just in time to stuff your proverbial stocking.

You know the one, that new A&F Christmas catalog that dared to go so far as to show actual young half-naked models laying around in half-naked splendor doing half-naked nothing much. Same as it ever was.

[Ichneumon]

[Maybe Morford's acid will disolve him one day and deprive us of his wit.]

I must have missed that part.

Well *I* found it absolutely hilarious, at least.

He absolutely nails the carefully cultivated artificial lifestyles presented by the various catalogs.

"...like the 4-inch-thick Sears tome with its countless pages of busty bra models who looked like your best friend's mom?" Been there, done that.

"Or what of the super-rich diamond-encrusted ultra-slick porn of the Neiman Marcus catalog, packed with all those untouchable preening fur-clad mistresses descending the steps of your new Lear jet?" Ayup. Describes the NM catalog to a "T".

"Here is, quite simply, 160 pages of pure kitchen-fetish smut, raw and glossy and openly explicit, all gleaming $400 KitchenAid blenders and wickedly overpriced stainless steel All-Clad cookware and gorgeously photographed slabs of steaming gourmet meats being perfectly sliced with spotless $200 Wusthof knives. Mmm yeah, baby. Do it to me just like that." ROFL! I too have lusted over fancy kitchen gadgets and perfect professional-quality food preparation.

[Hodar]

Please tell me you are not as immature as you appear to be. Is this typical of your 'style'? Mislead, misinform and insult?

This article made a valid point. The material in question was NOT made available to children (please re-read that, or have someone read it for you). You are asserting that it was freely distributed, it was NOT. Thus, the 'advertisement' is little more than a 'Playboy' magazine featuring A&F merchandise. People PAY for the magazine, the magazine was marked as Mature Material. What part of this is beyond your grasp?

[Ribeye]

This walking puddle of puke called Morford is a pathic wretch. If he thinks he's the PJ O'Rourke of the wild-eyed left, he's more than wrong.

However, he's right about this:

"I'd be far, far more worried about what, say, Kraft is selling to your kids in all those millions of boxes of toxic and openly poisonous Kraft Lunchables..."

Why any parent would give that horrible crap to their kids is beyond me.

[Hodar]

And, its target market is the immature - adolescents, teens, and adults.

Yes, and the same arguement could be made for Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler and others. The fact that it was SOLD to legal adults is a key point. It was NOT provided, displayed or given to pre-teens or minors; as was alleged.

[Rummyfan]

Yeah, but my daughter loves those Lunchables. Also Subway turkey breast subs...

[presidio9]

Please tell me you are not as immature as you appear to be. Is this typical of your 'style'? Mislead, misinform and insult?

This was notintended as an insuilt, but rather as a frame of referrence. It was a response to another person's observations about you.

And I find the term "immaturity" a bizarre criticism on your part, since you are already on record for rejecting the concept.

[Hodar]

It comes in the mail and anyone with a child under 18 is bound to see it. It's soft porn, period.

Please re-read the article. It is SOLD to people over the age of 18. It does not just show up in the mail, unless you ordered it, and paid for it. As for children ordering and puchasing a catelog marked MATURE MATERIAL, this falls into the realm of parential responsibility.

[jjm2111]

"How can he say things like this and get away with it?"

Probably because Morford IS violated on a nightly basis. (Something tells me Morford is NOT a "top"). Did he mention BushCo once in the whole article? I didn't see it. There was the obligatory masturbation reference.

[ArrogantBustard]

Only Morford would get off at the thought of Kitchen Aid mixers. I hate to think of what (s)he would do with a dough hook...

[Hodar]

OK, let's for the sake of arguement say we are talking about A&F, not Santa. How are the two related? I fail to see the relation.

One one account, you have my opinion that being honest with a child is always the correct path. Here, we are dealing with flagrant dishonesty in the way the A&F (granted, stupid)marketing campaign was disseminated.

The A&F critics stated that the magazine featured op-eds on masturbation, oral sex, orgies and was targeted specifically at children. That would be wrong, and I doubt any reasonable person would argue that point.

However, we find out TODAY that the A&F magazine was SOLD to people 18 yrs old and above. This places the magazine in the same realm as Playboy. Thus, A&F was not marketing adult based ideas, clothing and lifestyles to children. That is not what was alleged previously.

[ILBBACH]

I think this is another leftist anti-capitalism diatribe - defending a leftist ideas by putting down the catalogs of companies that don't cater to his crowd (LL Bean, J Crew, Pottery Barn Kids, etc.).

BTW, why didn't he mention Victoria's Secret? He probably thinks that catalog is...yucky!

[jjm2111]

"He absolutely nails the carefully cultivated artificial lifestyles presented by the various catalogs."

That's true and seeing the way some people try to match those artificial lifestyles is funny, too. But I doubt clothing stores would have much success if they left out the artificially cultivated lifestyle. Could you imagine a catalog where the male model would be wearing fashion forward leather pants and a very conservative Brooks Brothers-esque shirt? Or the female model was wearing an LL Bean-type warm sweater and ultra-trendy boots? I'm not sure who would shop at a place like that.

[spodefly]

Still, Maryam Kubasek of the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families ... apparently thinks the catalog is literally capable of stripping her young son naked and plying him with massage oil and anal beads and a nice Burntbridge Pond Striped Polo shirt with moose embroidery for $39.99.

If anyone knows about stripping young sons naked and plying massage oil and anal beads, it's Morford.

[Irene Adler]

Unfortunately I get the catalog because my daughter used to order some things from them. I HATED it from the first time I saw it, but my daughter was always a good kid, very responsible in every way, so I didn't make an issue of one catalog, when everything else she did was always so sterling. However, my daughter now has a job in another state, and we are still getting the catalog. I have been throwing them away, but I am going to send the next one right back to the company with a letter telling them in no uncertain terms not to send me another.

The odd thing about it is that one thing I really, really dislike is the look the models so often have on their faces, a distinct, sort of slack-jawed leer is the only way I can describe it. Having their pants partway unzipped is another lovely feature. And the guys look so oddly feminized. ICK!

[Irene Adler]

I would just like to make clear that my last post concerned the catalog, not the magazine. I consider the catalog to be soft porn. I have never seen the magazine for which I am thinkful.

[presidio9]

My advice to you and Morford: Those who can't stand to have their opinions used against them are wise to keep those opinions to themselves.

[goodnesswins]

I must be getting old........"anal beads?" I'm afraid to ask....

[Jim Cane]

I mean, whatever happened to the innocent and tantalizing catalogs of yore, like the 4-inch-thick Sears tome with its countless pages of busty bra models who looked like your best friend's mom?

I always thought the mom from Family Circus had a nice rack.

[sarasota]

Wonder why I've received copies then...? Not recently, however, but a year ago.

[sarasota]

OK, that's why I received it in the past. Previous order. Have since been in the store once where huge posters of the naked photos appear. Picked up a pair of flip flops on sale and declared that I won't go back and support their program with my dollars.