A Few Of FR's Finest....Every Day....12-02-03...Holiday Contest Thread: Rumsfield Doll

12/02/003 | FreeTheHostages

[FreeTheHostages]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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HARK! Welcome to a holiday contest thread.

The prize is a talking doll. But wait, it gets better!
	Secretary Rumsfield is doing the talking! Ah, Rummy, he tells it like it is.  Click here to see a sample of things the doll can say!

Santa sees all, knows all.     Cool Christmas gifts for Rumsfield?   You betcha.  But here’s a more perplexing question: Whatever will Rummy get for the press corps?


How does Donald Rumsfield really feel about THEM?  He probably can't say.   The press corps, being the inexperienced, naive, childlike people that they are, may determine how much Rumsfield really loves them by the Christmas gift he gives them.


So, let's do some fictitious shopping for our beloved Secretary of Defense.  Pretend the President has given you leave to get them what you *really* want to get them.  Best answer wins the doll!

Examples of Gifts From Rummy, To Press Corps, With Luv
Recompense for their thoughts	A Texas snowglobe?
A good gift for Sam Donaldson	Remember, it's the thought that counts . . .
Got the idea?  Good.  So it's your turn: what should Secretary Rumsfield get for his beloved crop of youngsters in the Pentagon press room?

The Rules
1. There are no rules! Everything is subject to change on the merest whim. Needless to say, this contest is not affiliated with the ownership of Free Republic and is run by just me.


The Guidelines
1. Post by 22:00 hours (10 p.m. EST --Rumsfield-time!) your description of what Rumsfield should get for the Fourth Estate.  In this fictious gift-giving contest, you can use words, graphics, sounds, and/or an unlimited ficitious budget.  Your contest entry can describe a gift to the entire press corps or you can select one member to receive Sec. Rumsfield’s gift.

2. Winner will be announced on this thread at 23:00 hours.

3. Humor counts.   Conservatism counts.   Picking on the artwork of The Thin Man counts.   In short, everything counts.   Including how much alcohol I have imbibed at the time of judging.   Oh, and if you have to ask if bribes count, then you don't know me well enough to get me the perfect gift anyway.

4. As always, no complaining that the judge (me) is a raving lunatic.   Everyone already knows that.   Bor-r-r-r-ing.   As per last year, no whining if you lose just ‘cause your entry was clearly better: remember, when the judge is an idiot, there’s no shame in losing.   So enter once, enter often, have a ball.

5. The possibility exists of runner-up prizes and awards.   The possibility also exists that if you don’t want a the Rumsfield doll and would prefer a Coulter doll, I just might have access to one for ya.  Or not.  Depends on my mood, really.

6. Don't post anything that our President and First Lady would disapprove of.


7. Oh, and no not entering because you're afraid of embarassing yourself.  That's the entire point of these contests and you'll have plenty of company!  Ho ho ho!





Just in case you're not motivated and somehow have lost the dander you usually put up when you see a member of the press corps, consider the fact that the ne'er-do-wells just yesterday gave TONS of cnn.com frontpage publicity to a "foot-in-mouth" award for Rumsfield given by a couple of unknown British quacks.  Unbelievably, the press corps is riding herd on the theory that the man can't talk no good!  We, on the other hand, understand perfectly this gem:

We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.   But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.

It makes perfect sense to everyone except a Liberal and we recognize the Rumsfieldian humor and truth in the statement.  I personally hope this contest has many unknown unknowns!

And Merry Christmas, Secretary Rumsfield!  We understand you and you've been a very good boy this year!

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 12-1-03...Military Monday

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' The guy's good, folks!

Thanks, Mixer!

1) Click on the graphic to open the Calendar.
2) Once there you can click on any month and even click to the right to go into next year. Once you are in the month that you joined FR you will need to click on the number in the calendar and then an add item screen will come up.
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Click on the photo to view the album. To
submit your photo, please contact dansangel or .45Man
at
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and include Freeper Photo Album in subject line.

[Dubya]

Nam Vet bump.
Veterans activist gets Army honor

[FreeTheHostages]

re your question about whether I made the pledge graphic -- actually, I did a table to get that done.

the "seasons greetings" graphic with the wreath I stole from last year's thread

'Member Billie's thread recently about last year's xmas threads? It's a *GOLD MINE* of graphics to steal, hee hee!

So I took the wreath and put it in an HTML table with my rummy doll

waste not, want not!

[FreeTheHostages]

This very simple Helen Thomas idea is also very devillish!

[FreeTheHostages]

FreeTheSausages, I've got bad news for you. I've decided not to enter this contest and thus depriving you of another opportunity to rob me of my prize.

LOL, relax, Mr. Mind Game, I can tell this is your way of lobbying for it. And it's making inroads . . . .

[WVNan]

Speaking of monitors, I'm having a terrible time with mine. I think it's totally shot. It's got the quivers so bad I can't see what I'm doing. Can only get it to stabilize for a few moments by turning it off and back on. I think it will be nearly inpossible to enter the contest as I can't search for graphics.

[FreeTheHostages]

OK, I have to totally confess: I don't get 153. Help me. Assume I'm an idiot.

[WVNan]

No Spooky! You don't want to expose those precious children to nasty liberal reporters.

[FreeTheHostages]

Yours are quite clever too. You're a definite contender here.

[FreeTheHostages]

Awwww. Is your monitor, per chance, turning 70 soon?

;)

[WVNan]

Oh, I'll have to stabilize my screen for that report girl. Thanks for going. Wish I could have been there.

[WVNan]

Oh boy. You better count on my better nature after that remark Ms Freesy. Besides you got it wrong. The 70 goes with my moniker, not my monitor. I may have to retire to my hubby's office and use his computer in order to set some people right tonight.

[JulieRNR21]

I like Leni's suggestion of giving the liberal press gingerbread Hillary cookies to hang on their trees.

And I also think he should give the 'good guys' from FOX NEWS, The Washington Times, etc. these George W. Bush cookies:

[FreeTheHostages]

LOL, {{{WVNan}}} I'm just too excited about tomorrow's celebration. Sorry if I got carried away.

[WVNan]

Okay. I read your report and it's a doozy. Hope you don't catch a cold from being out in the freezing wind. Glad you had some good compnay too. I'm so encouraged by the young conseervatives coming up. There may be hope for America yet. Thanks for going L.

[FreeTheHostages]

Oh, now there's a wonderful, holiday spirit suggestion.

[FreeTheHostages]

HARK! Some initial utterances by a tipsy judge

Judge's opening ramblings: I have less problems picking out the possible winners in this contest, happily. All of these are very funny but only certain of them reflect the devillish sense of humor of Rumsfeld. I'm still looking at all the entries, but, 1 hour to closing time, ones that I'm looking at hardest are marked with one or two asterisks. Post 4: Chad Fairbank's a trip to the moon Post 6: "What kind of scam is this? Who is "Rumsfield?" Some poor sap thinking their getting a Rumsfeld doll is going to be stuck with a worthless "Rumsfield."" OK, this non-entry by The Thin Man is a bit of an inside joke, but 'tis true, to Billie's chagrin, I've twice now taken to hiding typos in my titles to bait The Thin Man. He cheerfully takes the bait here, seeming to get the joke this time, and ya can't help but love him for it. Post 7, Kirkwood: "EIB truth detectors for FOX news just to make their jobs a little easier. Lumps of coal for the rest." Hmm, OK, but lumps of coal: Rumsfield would be more circuitious and circumspect in his humor. **Post 17, from xp38: a very strong entry. A game of clue, complete with graphics. Post 18, waterdragon: another suggestion of a portable lie detector! *Post 28, dansangel: "Well *duh* - get them each their own "Rummy Doll."" **Post 30, minutegal's very seasonal list: A Teddy in a pier tree Two peacenik doves Three French chickens Four appalling Byrds Five gold-en zings.....Fa, La, La, La Six Deans a-creeping Seven Daschles weeping Eight Freepers freeping Nine darling Drudges Ten far-right judges Eleven Courics piping Twelve Clintons swiping And a Teddy in a pier tree Fa, La, La. Hmm, complete with imaginary music! Very good. Post 31, spookbrat's How To Lie With Statistics book *Post 32, GailA's Radio-controlled rat! LOL **Post 33, spookbrat's Clinton-less ties Post 34, spookbrat's comment: "I can tell you right now, it will be a woman who wins today. Men can't shop. They'll wait until 9:55 tonight, run out to Google image search and grab what's left on the shelves." Post 36, spookbrat's GWB election pin. Very nice, but a little too direct. *Post 46, spookbrat's Bush vodka *Post 51, spookbrat's GWB baby bib to catch all the rabid foam the press drools Post 54, aquamarine, a ticket to the moon Post 61, spookbrat -- still shopping at the GOP sites for xmas -- comes up with a GOP cooking apron for when the press is cooking up their lies *Post 63, spookbrat -- bumper stickers to place on the press's cars. hmm, nice Post 65, Calpernia -- straight jackets! LOL Very funny. Perhaps too direct for Rumsfeld, but very nice! **Post 66, Pippin's top ten list 10. Dubya in a flightsuit doll for each (Ann Coulter doll for the guys) :O) 09. Free tickets to get "Hannitized" by Sean 08. A Huge heaping helping of crow to celebrate Bush's victory next November 07. This one's especially for Petah Jennings: Free one-way ticket back to Canada. (All others get free one-way tickets to Tehran) 06. Guys: A date with Ann Coulter; Gals: A date with Rush Limbaugh 05. Autographed photo of Rummy singing "To the Right" 04. Video of Hillary Clinton eating crow (PRECIOUS) 03. Latest CD of Dixie Chicks/Saddem Hussien hits. 02. Hairpeace for James Carville 01. Front seat tickets to Bush,s second inaugeration! Post 68, aquamarine, a trip to mars. nice graphic! Post 75, iceskater, brain transplants! Post 80, minute gal, a Hilary gingerbread cookie on a string. Post 85, who else -- spookbrat -- with U.N.T.P. **Post 102, jwfiv, playing expertly to the judge's predilictions, offers up: "...I think Rummy could give the gift that keeps on giving...and appoint The Thin Man as Chief Copy Editor for the Press Corps" [post 116, TTM pleads: "This entry better not win! :-)" Hmm, he's tempting me . . ..] **Post 103, dutchess, with simplicity and genuis, suggests that the corps simply be given Helen Thomas. Hee hee hee hee. Post 104, diver dave, Beano! Post 114, lonestar offers wiene's eccentric list, lol! Um, you can't win 'cause we dread what a dog might do to our beloved Rumsfeld toy! Post 123, Donaeus, she offers Rumsfeld's own special written assessment of various members. LOL, that would be delicious. Hmm, then the post gets a little violent. Err, would Rumsfeld really do that mouth-stuffing thing? LOL **Post 135, spookbrat, pictures of adorable Texas children. Everyone say: "Awwww" Post 140: MeeknMing's Helen Thomas Wind-Up Doll Post 153, calpernia, I'm an idiot but OK what is that a photo of? I can't tell *Post 164, deadhead: Hilary Clinton and a one-way ticket to Freeper Island. Hmm, not bad, not bad . . . . **Post 175, spookbrat: a very kind post to a veteran. maybe not intended to be what Rumsfeld gives the press for xmas, but wouldn't it be cool, to make them write nice letters to veterans . . . . Very good heart there, spookbrat. Rumsfeld would really like that post. You're doing fine in this contest. **Post 192, JulieRNR21: GWB cookies for the GOOD press! Inspired!!

[WVNan]

What are we celebrating tomorrow? BTW, excuse my mistakes in spelling etc. When my screen goes dizzy I can't see what I'm typing. I would already be on Jack's computer if it were not for FOX News. He doesn't have a TV in his office and I do. Sure hope I get a monitor for Christmas.

[JulieRNR21]

BTW....a friend sent me one....I have not even nibbled on it....it's too beautiful!

[deadhead]

Have a glass of wine, Free. And then decide :-) LOL....did I mention that The Thin Man is Mayor of Freeper Island

Sorry, cracking myself up.....

P.S. I have a favorite, waiting to see if it is the same as yours.

[FreeTheHostages]

Your birthday!!