Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Today's dangerous toys pale to those of past
Chicago Sun Times ^ | November 26, 2003 | MARK BROWN SUN

Posted on 11/30/2003 2:08:21 PM PST by KneelBeforeZod

'Tis the season for dangerous toy warnings. The Public Interest Research Group issued its 18th annual "Trouble in Toyland" report Tuesday, while the Consumer Product Safety Commission was releasing its list of toys cited for safety recalls. Last week was the 31st annual presentation of the "10 Worst Toys List" from WATCH -- or World Against Toys Causing Harm.

You know the drill by now: toys that might choke a kid, toys that could put You know the drill by now: toys that might choke a kid, toys that could put somebody's eye out, toys that could poison you if you chewed them up, many of the toys so obscure that you'll never see them on the shelves.

Through ever-increasing levels of vigilance, diligence and litigiousness, we Americans theoretically keep making our toys safer and safer year by year.

I was just wondering then: How do you explain the fact that the world into which we're sending our children to play is becoming more and more dangerous every day?

Is it possible we're spending so much time sweating the little things that we've lost track of the bigger picture?

Unfortunately, I have no answer to these deep philosophical questions.

What I have is a list of my own: Favorite Dangerous Toys from Childhood.

It's a compilation actually from interviews with other guys. It's amazing that we're all still alive to talk about this stuff. Just don't let your kids read this. They'd be jealous.

First off, there used to be toy guns, lots of them.

Let's set aside for a moment the issue of BB guns or pellet guns, which were always a matter of parental dispute.

There was a time when nearly every boy had a six-shooter with a holster. Most of them fired plastic bullets.

The projectiles didn't move fast enough to break a pane of glass, but they could have certainly "put somebody's eye out" under just the right circumstances.

There were toy rifles, too. Spring-loaded ones with big cartridges.

"I had the Johnny Seven," one protective father told me wistfully. "It was seven weapons of destruction in one. You could pull out the Lugar or convert it into a grenade launcher."

Neither he nor I would allow our kids anywhere near such a thing now.

"Don't forget the dart guns," said another product of a pre-PIRG childhood.

Oh, yes, the dart guns with the hard plastic darts and the rubber suction tips. When you removed the tips, you could do some real damage to your little brother, but you had to keep in mind that his chance would come, too.

I was surprised to find one of those dart guns on this year's most dangerous toy list. I suppose the Chinese are still churning them out somewhere.

There were also bows and arrows with the same suction cup tips. Every boy knew that these could be removed and the arrow point whittled down into something more useful.

My friend Pittsburgh John did this one better. He and his brothers were allowed to have toy arrows with actual steel tips that they would let fly at squirrels and rabbits.

"I don't think we ever hit anything. I'm surprised we never killed one another," said Pittsburgh John. That possibility never curtailed their use, but when the boys started using the bow and arrow inside the garage and put holes in the wall, their father had to put his foot down.

The hazard posed by other toys was only slightly more subtle.

Take the Vac-U-Form from Mattel, which used a sizzling 110-volt hotplate to mold small toys from melted sheets of styrene plastic. The Vac-U-Form heating plate was also later used for Creepy Crawlers and Thingmaker molds.

There's no telling how many ways these would flunk the safety tests today. They could burn you. They could burn the house down. There were toxic materials that let off what were probably toxic fumes.

Boy, oh, boy. What a great toy.

"A sense of danger is what makes a toy interesting," observed another very proper father.

This particular father reminded me of the most important rule about toys: You can never keep a kid from using a toy for a purpose for which it was not intended, not that this would deter either of us from trying to anticipate each and every one.

"You can make anything dangerous depending on what you do with it," he observed. "Superman capes were dangerous because then you'd jump off the garage roof, which I did."

OK, he might be a special case.

I received varied opinions on the potential danger from chemistry sets in that time period. Everyone has a story about combining the various chemicals in random ways that they thought might blow up the house. But nobody could cite any example of actually blowing something up that way.

I've got to be careful. Kids really did get hurt with some of these toys. And I don't want to diminish the work of the safety watchdogs. You can't argue with somebody trying to protect kids.

Another buddy, Scott the Jeweler, had a favorite toy cannon that he fired off in a closed garage. It didn't really shoot anything, but it made one heck of a noise, the louder the better as far as Scott was concerned. These days there's a special category on the watch lists for dangerously loud toys.

Come to think of it, Scott is a little hard of hearing.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: christmas; santa; toys
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 261-273 next last
To: KneelBeforeZod
I have find memories of setting off smoke alarms in my house making shrinky dinks.
21 posted on 11/30/2003 2:36:30 PM PST by TrebleRebel (If you're new to the internet, CLICK HERE.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KarlInOhio
Remember Dan Akroyd and his Bag-o-glass? Or his Johnny Space Cadet Halloween costume?
22 posted on 11/30/2003 2:37:37 PM PST by TrebleRebel (If you're new to the internet, CLICK HERE.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
I grew up in the Depression and the Christmas tree lights were the most dangerous thing about Christmas.

Threadbare cords and sputtery lights all over a dry Christmas tree.

July Fourth was even more dangerous.

No one warned anyone about anything and we all survived.
23 posted on 11/30/2003 2:37:45 PM PST by Mears
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
As Mad Max is fond of saying, "Sling shots, air rifles, and lawn darts were invented to cull the stupid children from the gene pool."
24 posted on 11/30/2003 2:38:05 PM PST by JoeGar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
FOND memories too......
25 posted on 11/30/2003 2:38:38 PM PST by TrebleRebel (If you're new to the internet, CLICK HERE.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Vermonter

I have it on good authority (my Mom) that the fellow in the back left of this group got that cool eye patch as a kid with a BB gun. Small town fun.

26 posted on 11/30/2003 2:41:40 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim (SSDD - Same S#it Different Democrat)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: TrebleRebel
Remember Dan Akroyd and his Bag-o-glass?

The president of Mainway Toys. :) "Hey kids, you be careful wit dat, ok?"
27 posted on 11/30/2003 2:43:02 PM PST by July 4th
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
I recently bought a a bunch of Slinkys. It's a wonder they've not been banned by the toy police for fear of a child doing SOMETHING horrible with it.

Are Superballs still allowed? Silly Putty, cap guns, slingshots, Cox glow engines?

Sleds...certainly they've been banned, Flexible flyers. Dart guns banned but not bicycles?

Certainly Erector sets are prohibited--so many small parts. Probably the greatest toy ever invented.

Take me back 40 years. The world is now a hell hole.

28 posted on 11/30/2003 2:44:00 PM PST by Interious
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
Vast conspiracy to insure American males grow up to be sensitive, nurturing care-givers who excel in picking out curtains.

Then they grow up to find women wistful over the lack of "real men" to choose from.

I went too far the other way (pellet guns, fireworks, BMX biking on construction sites decades before anyone thought of it as sporting). I rejected GI Joe because he is, to be exact, a DOLL.

Bottom Line: The kids are okay as long as they aren't out torturing animals.
29 posted on 11/30/2003 2:44:10 PM PST by NewRomeTacitus (Happy Fun Ball, I f*rt in your general direction. What are you doing? Oh, noooo!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

A small thing perhaps, but indicative of the times - Cracker Jack used to have real toys with wheels, moving parts, whistles, etc. Now, every box seems to have stickers or some lame paper item. Sad...
30 posted on 11/30/2003 2:44:10 PM PST by radiohead
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: Mike Darancette
The "Lawn Dart" was a great toy for the whole family.

Jarts! We had a set of those babies- they had a (slightly) blunted steel tip mounted in the center of the weighted collar... things of beauty, really. My younger sister and I were warned to be careful with them, but she was too small and inept for much of a safety factor.

I ended up knocking her unconscious with a dirt clod one time (best toss of my life- if she'd have been standing still, I'd never have hit her), but I don't know if that would classify as much of a toy.

31 posted on 11/30/2003 2:44:27 PM PST by niteowl77 (If you haven't prayed for our troops, please start; if you stopped, then do some catching up.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: TrebleRebel
My favorite was the Bassomatic!
32 posted on 11/30/2003 2:44:50 PM PST by Tennessee_Bob (LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Tijeras_Slim
SUPER ELASTIC BUBBLE PLASTIC

33 posted on 11/30/2003 2:45:08 PM PST by Delta 21 (I dont need no stinking spell checker !)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Tijeras_Slim
As I indicated, I'm sure it happened, and I'm sorry for the gentleman's misfortune, but I had never personally known of anyone who was injured in this way.
34 posted on 11/30/2003 2:46:12 PM PST by Vermonter (No sweatshop labor was used in the production of this tag line)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: NewRomeTacitus
BMX biking on construction sites decades before anyone thought of it as sporting

I used to jump a Stingray bike with the huge "easy rider" sissy bar and that gigantic shifter clamped to the top tube. We were always crashing and racking ourselves.

35 posted on 11/30/2003 2:46:32 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim (SSDD - Same S#it Different Democrat)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
"I shocked myself a couple times with my train set. of course it was nothing serious..."

Dittos with the shocks. I got a Lionel, remember the three rail tracks, that came with smoke pellets...really great effect. It wasn;t long before the smoke pellets were used up so, genius that I was, I substituted aspirin tablets. Talk about gettin' sick.......

36 posted on 11/30/2003 2:48:05 PM PST by daylate-dollarshort
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Vermonter
Could we have a show of hands for anyone who knows someone who put someone else's eye out with one of these toys from back when?

I'll go you one better. I darned near blinded myself with a BB gun once. My cousin and I were shooting at tin cans sitting on a plow. A BB hit the plow frame and bounced back perfectly hitting me in the right eye. Fortunately, it missed the eyeball and lodged in the corner of my eye socket. Neither my cousin nor I could tell anyone for fear of losing our BB guns. My eye turned red and almost swelled shut. Finally my Mother noticed it in spite of my trying to keep it hidden and made me fess up. A trip to the family doc confirmed that the BB was no longer there. So you see, Mom and Dad are always right.

37 posted on 11/30/2003 2:48:39 PM PST by GreyWolf (My $.02)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Vermonter
The guy's still a character. Given some of the stuff he's done, he probably thinks he got off easy.
38 posted on 11/30/2003 2:48:59 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim (SSDD - Same S#it Different Democrat)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: Delta 21
SUPER ELASTIC BUBBLE PLASTIC

Yes! Now why couldn't I remember that? :-D

39 posted on 11/30/2003 2:50:11 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim (SSDD - Same S#it Different Democrat)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: KneelBeforeZod
Ha, my brother and I used to play a game of chicken with our Lionel electric train set. Put your face on the tracks facing the train and see how long you can stay there before pulling away. The eye level view of the train coming at your face, especially with the lights off in the room so all you see is the train light coming at you, was frightening to say the least. I think my brother won the time he let the train hit him right in the nose. Ouch!
40 posted on 11/30/2003 2:50:24 PM PST by saquin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 261-273 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson