Today's dangerous toys pale to those of past

Chicago Sun Times ^ | November 26, 2003 | MARK BROWN SUN

[Mike Darancette]

The "Lawn Dart" was a great toy for the whole family.

[muawiyah]

My first thought too!

LAWN DARTS

[Delta 21]

Happy FUN BALL!

-only $14.95-

* Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
* Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
* Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
* Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.


Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse sweating
* Heart palpitations


If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Happy Fun Ball

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

[Conservative4Ever]

After a quick scan of the article...I didn't see any mention of the EasyBake Oven......some things are just too sacred for PCness. Still remember my Dale Evans cowgirl outfit complete with sidearm and holster. Talk about being Queen of the West...

Red

[KneelBeforeZod]

I just saw an ad with the new and improved version of the easy bake. Over the ones I remember from the 70s anyway.

sleek black accents...none of the girlie pink explosion...

maybe they are trying to get boys to play with it...after all, all the great chefs are men. (except julia c.)

[Vermonter]

Could we have a show of hands for anyone who knows someone who put someone else's eye out with one of these toys from back when?

I'm sure it happened, but not to anyone I ever knew or heard of

(let's not forget slingshots and electric trains for the dangerous toy list)

[ServesURight]

I remember the science sets for kids that contained LOTS of chemicals and glass beakers.

[KarlInOhio]

And the followup ad:

Happy Fun Ball -- still legal in 16 states.

Yikes, I feel old. The line "Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq" reminded me that this came out during the first Iraq war.

[annyokie]

My brother and I loved our "Thingmaker". Many were the times we scared the bejesus out our mother with the giant spiders.

[Inspectorette]

Oh those chemistry sets were great. My friends and I whipped up a concoction one time that spattered all over the kitchen ceiling. Try as we might to clean it up before the parents got home (we were about 12), it never did come off.

[KneelBeforeZod]

I shocked myself a couple times with my train set. of course it was nothing serious...

[netmilsmom]

WHAT is a Happy Fun Ball?

[Tijeras_Slim]

There was some gunk in a tube that you could blow into enormous multi-colored bubbles circa mid-60's. I played with it a lot. It had a distinctive odor which when I happened upon it again when I was in my 30's came from a can marked Acetone. LOL! I was a sniffer and didn't even know it.

[chindog]

After a quick scan of the article...I didn't see any mention of the EasyBake Oven......some things are just too sacred for PCness.

EasyBake Ovens are still available. I was in Wal Mart yesterday, and they had a big display of them on sale for $8.88.

[annyokie]

Did you ever have one of those airguns that you could pump up and they made a "bang!" noise? If you jammed the barrel in the dirt you could really sting your little brother in the backside.

[KarlInOhio]

It was a fake advertisement on Saturday Night Live. It had about 10 seconds announcing the product followed by about 90 seconds of disclaimers and warnings. It was SNL at its finest. See post 4 for the entire script.

[daylate-dollarshort]

Yep...had one of those. Made by Gilbert. Made delayed incendiary devices and really great stink bombs. Wonderful!

[Vermonter]

And heaven forbid any child today got a cap gun.

The horror of it. All that dangerous gunpowder in the hands of innocent children.

We used to buy the stuff in huge boxes and probably had enough powder to load shotgun shells

[gorush]

Erector sets and chemistry sets...lots of metalic pointy parts or the ability, at the very least, to make a huge stain, whether toxic or otherwise.