It's Operation Iron Hammer Time!
Not only did deposed leader Saddam Hussein try last-minute overtures to avert war (this could get Saddam the nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize by Howard Dean), but now it turns out Saddam never really tried averting war after all. That was last week's double-sourced-checked, unassailable, indisputable media account of what really happened -- and why Bush is such a horrible madman and bloody warmonger and Saddam is not. This week, the word is that the whole Iraq war was Saddam's brilliant plan all along.
"The recent string of high-profile attacks on U.S. and allied forces in Iraq has appeared to be so methodical and well crafted" that this had to be Saddam's plan all along, the Washington Post reports Thursday.
Knowing from the '91 Gulf War they could not defeat the Great Satan even with well-armed conventional forces, "the Baath Party government cached weapons before the Americans invaded this spring and planned to" defeat the Great Satan using even less-well-armed conventional guerrilla forces, through conventional "guerrilla tactics," says the Post. Conventional guerrilla tactics used by these conventional guerrillas include guerrillas blowing themselves up in suicide bombings against dangerous military targets like Red Cross headquarters in Baghdad. And U.N. headquarters in Baghdad. And pregnant women on street corners in Baghdad. These brave guerrillas have taken on even more dangerous targets --- unarmed school children in Baghdad.
Here's the latest final version of Saddam's magnificent plan all along (caution: This final version of Saddam's magnificent plan all along is subject to revisions next week): Pretend you had weapons of mass destruction in order to get invaded, get invaded, get deposed, lose your army, lose every battle, get your butt kicked at Umm Qasr, Basra, Najaf, Al Kut, Karbala, Tikrit, Mosul, Baghdad, etc., lose your 2 darling sons, flee into hiding, don a Burka, get chummy with al-Qaeda (despite never having any links to al-Qaeda -- see Terry McAuliffe), then orchestrate terrorist attacks (despite never having been a terrorist -- see Wesley Clark) all while hopping house-to-house every 2 hours to avoid detection. This plan of Saddam's was so clever, it even envisioned allowing Coalition reconstruction to restore electricity, water and sanitation to prewar levels, renovation of 1,500 schools, reopening of all hospitals and clinics, reopening of all courts, circulation of hundreds of new newspapers (giving Iraqis a taste of press freedom), election of local Councils across Iraq (giving Iraqis a taste of political freedom), unearthing of mass graves, Saddam torture chambers and rape rooms. Saddam's plan, in another brilliant master-stroke, allowed deployment of tens of thousands of Coalition-trained Iraqi police and security forces, restoring order in 90 percent of Iraq.
Despite what you think, all of this is evidence Saddam is making very good progress. All is going according to plan. (Bush critics like Howard Dean and Jacques Chirac might note that this shows Saddam is far smarter than Bush, for Saddam not only brilliantly planned to lose the war, but he planned the postwar as well).
In short, Saddam, even while evading capture, is busy orchestrating the attacks, doing the day-to-day operational planning or direction and resourcing of the effort.
The Washington Post's cites as evidence to back it's new-new-new-new version of Saddam's master plan a U.S. commander, who tells the Post that "there is no evidence that Hussein is orchestrating the attacks. 'He has to move so much that he can't do the day-to-day operational planning or direction and resourcing of the effort."
And "U.S. officials who interrogated former Iraqi deputy prime minister Tariq Aziz and other former Iraqi officials said they found no evidence of such a strategy," the Post admits.
But the absence of any evidence of such a strategy only proves there is such a strategy because, says the Post, "there is no question that enemy attacks on U.S. troops and their foreign and Iraqi allies are increasing in scope, intensity, sophistication and frequency." Oh, and there's this CIA memo which says that patience among the Iraqi people with Coalition efforts to bring the "guerrillas" under control is wearing thin. The memo says that unless Coalition forces bring the "guerrillas" under control, the Iraqi people will stop cooperating with Coalition forces which will make it harder to bring the "guerrillas" under control. Then they'll join the guerrillas! It's all so very clear.
This CIA memo is very trustworthy, says the Post, and we should all be gloomy and defeatist, says the Post, even though "The quality of U.S. intelligence in Iraq has proven to be a major problem in recent months and was criticized in a recent internal Army study," and there's "widespread complaints about the lack of coordination and integration of the data," says the Post. Yes, the quality of CIA intelligence stinks but not the quality of CIA memos leaked to the Post in order to embarrass the President. Those are really, really, really trustworthy.
Not only that, but this CIA memo added that even though Saddam's "guerrillas" were "disorganized by the speed of the U.S. invasion," they "are now regrouping." Yes, the "guerrilla" effort is in the midst of a robust expansion, a solid Recovery, lifting hopes at the Washington Post for a powerful rebound of Quagmire, just like the good ol' days of Vietnam. Guerrilla forecasters at the Post expect solid guerrilla growth and expansion in the coming months, possibly fueled by Bush's tax cuts for the rich. After a halting start, the surge in guerrilla activity proves the Guerrilla Recovery is finally here.
But, alas! it's a Jobless Recovery! Just as guerrilla activity showed promising signs of improvement, U.S. military forces "launched strikes aimed at cracking down on Iraqi (guerrillas)," CNN reports Thursday. Dubbed Operation Iron Hammer, the campaign targeted suspected guerrilla hideouts in "western and southern Baghdad overnight." It's Iron Hammer time! "In southern Baghdad," adds CNN, "an AC-130H Spectre gunship was called in to destroy a warehouse used by Iraqi insurgents to meet and plan attacks against U.S. forces." The strikes dealt a heavy blow to the guerrilla recovery, sparking fear among Democrats that the shrinking guerrilla labor force could trigger a double-dip guerrilla recession. With U.S. forces striking again tonight, using heavy gunships, mortars and artillery on Day 3 of Operation Iron Hammer, the number of discouraged guerrillas who have given up looking for work will likely surge (suddenly staring an AC130H Spectre gunship in the face has a way of doing that).
"Operation Iron Hammer will continue tonight, tomorrow and in the coming days," Reuters quotes Captain David Gercken of the Army's 1st Armored Division as saying. "We're making sure (terrorists) have no place to meet, no place to plan attacks and no place to store weapons. There will be no safe heavens," said Gercken.
For the "guerrillas," with their shrinking labor force, growing unemployment, disappearing paychecks, growing discouragement, shrinking infrastructure, falling income -- if this is a "Recovery," I don't know how much more recovery these guerrillas can stand!
Anyway, that's...
My two cents...
"JohnHuang2"
