USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Pancakes on Wednesday ~ 5 November 2003

Canteen FRiends ~ Radix ~ Society for the Banishment of Burkas

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!!

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!

[Kathy in Alaska]

U.S. Coast Guard cutter Steadfast offloads 31 bales of cocaine

SAN DIEGO - U.S. Coast Guard cutter Steadfast homeported Astoria, Ore. offloaded 31 bales of cocaine weighing 1,600 pounds and turned it over to U.S. Customs this afternoon in San Diego.

On Oct 18, 2003, U.S. Navy USS Stephen W. Groves was in hot pursuit of a go-fast boat approximately 600 miles off the coast of Costa Rica. The Coast Guard cutter Steadfast was given the approximate location where the crew of the go-fast boat had dumped the bales of cocaine overboard. The Steadfast conducted search patterns for the bales and retreived 31.

Photos of the crew of the Steadfast offloading the cocaine are available upon request by calling Petty Officer Anthony Juarez at 206-220-7237.

[beachn4fun]

Oh Tom, I am so happy for you!

[beachn4fun]

Mr. Tonk....thank you for zapping him while I was gone.

[MoJo2001]

 

GOOD AFTERNOON TROOPS AND CANTEENERS!

I am going to try and come play later on tonight! So?? Fret not if I'm not around much this afternoon!!
Just wanted to stop by and say "HELLO" to everyone!
I hope everyone is having a fabulous PANCAKES ON WEDNESDAYS!

Before I jet, I wanted to leave you with this bit of useless nonsense--MOJO STYLE!

What MoJo would love to ask God one day!
You know..the important questions of life!

1. What is really inside the twinkie? Is it something that you intended for man to eat or was it a mistake and some idiot chose to market it to billions of people? Just curious!

2. Is it really possible to obey speed limits less than 55 mph. MoJo is stressed sometimes having to drive slower. My feet just won't allow me to do it.

3. Did you intend for all the Saudi princes to be short and bald or short and fat?

4. What good reason were hot dogs invented for??

5. Does PreparationH actually work? And which idiot took it orally that forced the company to write on the label that it shouldn't be taken orally. Just curious!

6. Barbra Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Michael Moore are good for human race how? I'd like a really nice list as to what usefulness and purpose they serve. Unlike Lot, I'm demanding at least a 100.

7. How Job couldn't sue you from the Bible?? Wouldn't the ACLU have found you in deep negligence?

8. The ACLU serves as the Civil Liberties watchdog right?? When have they ever done what they were intended for? Just curious.

9. What does Tomkow wear underneath his Burkas?

10. The Goddess has to move for the millionth time why? Can't you just find her a nice oceanfront house with a maid and allow her to work at home?

11. Why was Mr. Goat put up to trade in the first place? Was there a sinister plot by Sylvester to get rid of our beloved Mr. Goat?

12. How come little kids always have runny noses? Was this a conspiracy by the Kleenex people to ensure profits forever?

13. Why do Navy doctors always prescribe Sudafed or Motrin for every ailment?
(I might as well be a doctor!)

14. Is Oprah ever gonna be skinny?

15. Is Dr. Phil ever going to use his own dietary techniques to lose weight? He's always pushing them on someone else. Why didn't he use them? Hmmmm......

16. Are there low carb diets in Heaven for Dr. Atkins? If not, why not?

17. Why do they call it "monkey bread" when there's obviously no monkeys around.

18. Is Al Gore an Alpha or Beta Male? Or does he even register on the scale?

19. Are the French really aliens from a far away land that we don't know about yet?

20. Can you explain to me what George Lucas was thinking when he created Jar Jar Binks?

21. Did Michael Jackson really have a "skin disease"?

22. Does Oprah actually "cheat" on her diet? If so, does she eat greasy hamburgers and steaks from Texas??

23. What were you thinking when you made the female population suffer through child labor because of Eve. She's to blame, not us.

24. Spiders exist for what reason? I know all the science stuff as to why, but honestly. Do they need to crawl around in people's houses?

25. Will the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox ever win the World Series? If so, can it be sometime before I die? Thanks.

26. How many wigs does Cher really have?

27. Sugar is bad for us why? Please explain why I have to eat an apple for nutrition instead of a snickers bar. Apples just don't taste as good. Could you reverse this for MoJo?

28. What the heck do they put in Green tea that makes it "flush" your system? Couldn't you have advised people to eat hot dogs for that?

29. Do you prefer pancakes or waffles?

30. Will MoJo ever not have nappy hair?? Just curious. I'm not saying that I'm ungrateful for having hair. (See the Saudi prince question) However, I really don't like it to look like Buckwheat's hair when I wake up. Honestly. Can't you fix that?

31. Does Ma ever get control over her children? She's a nice person and all, but she lacks parental skills to handle her children. Could you sort of help her with that. She's tired. I guess! Who knows.

32. Go ahead. Tell the truth. Martha Stewart really is a vampire, huh?

33. The reason for creating beanie babies was what?

34. Bambi's mother died because of why? Was there any reason why Bambi's mommy had to die? I didn't think so.

35. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

36. Why aren't the oceans flowing with Mountain Dew instead of boring water?

37. You can answer this. My first grade teacher really was a witch, huh? (She looked like one and most certainly had a nose like one!)

38. Is fishing really that relaxing? And why do you have to be quiet when fishing? No need to go fishing if you can't really talk.

Thanks! That's all the questions I'd like to ask for now, but never fear. I'll think of more. Hehe!

 

[StarCMC]

Hey there Seven - I got yer doll done! Aren't you cute?

[StarCMC]

Hey ye'll! I've gotta run now -- been playing with dolls too long and now it's time to pick up the 2yo. By the way, it's Squeezit GiggleLips 9th birthday today. I would tell you about our plans, but she's snooopy so I can't. I'll tell ya'll about it later when it's over! :o) Hope I see ya this evening! HUGS!

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!

[Fawnn]

tomkow6!!! #100!!!

[Hondo1952]

Sorry to disappoint you, but it gets worse as you get older. I can make better vrooom vrooom car sounds now than ever. Arm pit farts are louder as you get older too. Don't you just love us?

[tomkow6]

[Hondo1952]

5. Does PreparationH actually work? And which idiot took it orally that forced the company to write on the label that it shouldn't be taken orally. Just curious!

I will try to answer this one for you and lighten the load for the big guy. As a former "non-electric pop-up target" spending countless hours walking about on nature hikes you develop problems, serious problems that require the use of PreparationH. Here is what we of my persuasion used them for: ingrown toenails (the only thing I've ever found that works), corns, psoriasis (all those millions of dollars spent in research and I have the cure), insect bites. That's pretty much the complete list. I don't have any idea what other people use it for.

As for the one that took it orally, I'm pretty sure he was either a second leutenant or an ensign. I'm also pretty sure an old sergeant or an old chief told him it would cure his stomach problems.

[Fawnn]

12. How come little kids always have runny noses? Was this a conspiracy by the Kleenex people to ensure profits forever?

LOL!!!

33. The reason for creating beanie babies was what?

[Fawnn]

Happy HAPPY Happy 9th Birthday
Squeezit GiggleLips

[Soaring Feather]

(...the Poet's are in the lard...the Poet's are in the lard...the Poet's are in the lard...the Poet's)

Now what's this stuff Tom????
hmmmmmmmmm???
Inquiring minds want to know!!

[Hondo1952]

Darwin Awards 2003

First Prize

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good afternoon, darkwing! Thanks for helping to keep the world safe for all of us.

Here's an afternoon cup.

[Hondo1952]

I'm going out on a limb here. As you all know I'm a displaced Alabama boy stuck up here in Hoosierland, a former prisoner of love that has broken those chains. As such I would like to speak on behalf of my southern brethren. I don't claim to speak for them all, but those I don't speak for aren't real southerners anyway.

You ready for this? WE DON'T WANT NO STINKING PANCAKES!!!WE DON'T WANT NO STINKIN WAFFLES!!!!

WE WANT SOME BISCUITS AND GRAVY WITH SOME GRITS AND FATBACK BACON AND SOME FRIED HEN AIGS!!!

So since we have holidays approaching I'd just like to make a minor suggestion for the troops and myself. We would like to request a "day" for OUR kind of breakfast. One rolling in lard (if we can get Queenie out of it and keep Tom from playing in it) so unhealthy your arteries clog just thinking about it. One that would even put weight on Oprah (see MoJo's comments above)
WE want BISCUIT AND GRAVY WEDNESDAY!!!

[Old Sarge]

WE want BISCUIT AND GRAVY WEDNESDAY!!!

Ya know, that's not a bad idea, not at all.

And some good, stick-t'yer-ribs chicken fried steak might not be off the mark.

Truck stop chow! Love it!