[MoJo2001]

 

GOOD AFTERNOON TROOPS AND CANTEENERS!

I am going to try and come play later on tonight! So?? Fret not if I'm not around much this afternoon!!
Just wanted to stop by and say "HELLO" to everyone!
I hope everyone is having a fabulous PANCAKES ON WEDNESDAYS!

Before I jet, I wanted to leave you with this bit of useless nonsense--MOJO STYLE!

What MoJo would love to ask God one day!
You know..the important questions of life!

1. What is really inside the twinkie? Is it something that you intended for man to eat or was it a mistake and some idiot chose to market it to billions of people? Just curious!

2. Is it really possible to obey speed limits less than 55 mph. MoJo is stressed sometimes having to drive slower. My feet just won't allow me to do it.

3. Did you intend for all the Saudi princes to be short and bald or short and fat?

4. What good reason were hot dogs invented for??

5. Does PreparationH actually work? And which idiot took it orally that forced the company to write on the label that it shouldn't be taken orally. Just curious!

6. Barbra Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Michael Moore are good for human race how? I'd like a really nice list as to what usefulness and purpose they serve. Unlike Lot, I'm demanding at least a 100.

7. How Job couldn't sue you from the Bible?? Wouldn't the ACLU have found you in deep negligence?

8. The ACLU serves as the Civil Liberties watchdog right?? When have they ever done what they were intended for? Just curious.

9. What does Tomkow wear underneath his Burkas?

10. The Goddess has to move for the millionth time why? Can't you just find her a nice oceanfront house with a maid and allow her to work at home?

11. Why was Mr. Goat put up to trade in the first place? Was there a sinister plot by Sylvester to get rid of our beloved Mr. Goat?

12. How come little kids always have runny noses? Was this a conspiracy by the Kleenex people to ensure profits forever?

13. Why do Navy doctors always prescribe Sudafed or Motrin for every ailment?
(I might as well be a doctor!)

14. Is Oprah ever gonna be skinny?

15. Is Dr. Phil ever going to use his own dietary techniques to lose weight? He's always pushing them on someone else. Why didn't he use them? Hmmmm......

16. Are there low carb diets in Heaven for Dr. Atkins? If not, why not?

17. Why do they call it "monkey bread" when there's obviously no monkeys around.

18. Is Al Gore an Alpha or Beta Male? Or does he even register on the scale?

19. Are the French really aliens from a far away land that we don't know about yet?

20. Can you explain to me what George Lucas was thinking when he created Jar Jar Binks?

21. Did Michael Jackson really have a "skin disease"?

22. Does Oprah actually "cheat" on her diet? If so, does she eat greasy hamburgers and steaks from Texas??

23. What were you thinking when you made the female population suffer through child labor because of Eve. She's to blame, not us.

24. Spiders exist for what reason? I know all the science stuff as to why, but honestly. Do they need to crawl around in people's houses?

25. Will the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox ever win the World Series? If so, can it be sometime before I die? Thanks.

26. How many wigs does Cher really have?

27. Sugar is bad for us why? Please explain why I have to eat an apple for nutrition instead of a snickers bar. Apples just don't taste as good. Could you reverse this for MoJo?

28. What the heck do they put in Green tea that makes it "flush" your system? Couldn't you have advised people to eat hot dogs for that?

29. Do you prefer pancakes or waffles?

30. Will MoJo ever not have nappy hair?? Just curious. I'm not saying that I'm ungrateful for having hair. (See the Saudi prince question) However, I really don't like it to look like Buckwheat's hair when I wake up. Honestly. Can't you fix that?

31. Does Ma ever get control over her children? She's a nice person and all, but she lacks parental skills to handle her children. Could you sort of help her with that. She's tired. I guess! Who knows.

32. Go ahead. Tell the truth. Martha Stewart really is a vampire, huh?

33. The reason for creating beanie babies was what?

34. Bambi's mother died because of why? Was there any reason why Bambi's mommy had to die? I didn't think so.

35. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

36. Why aren't the oceans flowing with Mountain Dew instead of boring water?

37. You can answer this. My first grade teacher really was a witch, huh? (She looked like one and most certainly had a nose like one!)

38. Is fishing really that relaxing? And why do you have to be quiet when fishing? No need to go fishing if you can't really talk.

Thanks! That's all the questions I'd like to ask for now, but never fear. I'll think of more. Hehe!

 

[StarCMC]

Hey ye'll! I've gotta run now -- been playing with dolls too long and now it's time to pick up the 2yo. By the way, it's Squeezit GiggleLips 9th birthday today. I would tell you about our plans, but she's snooopy so I can't. I'll tell ya'll about it later when it's over! :o) Hope I see ya this evening! HUGS!

[Hondo1952]

5. Does PreparationH actually work? And which idiot took it orally that forced the company to write on the label that it shouldn't be taken orally. Just curious!

I will try to answer this one for you and lighten the load for the big guy. As a former "non-electric pop-up target" spending countless hours walking about on nature hikes you develop problems, serious problems that require the use of PreparationH. Here is what we of my persuasion used them for: ingrown toenails (the only thing I've ever found that works), corns, psoriasis (all those millions of dollars spent in research and I have the cure), insect bites. That's pretty much the complete list. I don't have any idea what other people use it for.

As for the one that took it orally, I'm pretty sure he was either a second leutenant or an ensign. I'm also pretty sure an old sergeant or an old chief told him it would cure his stomach problems.

[Fawnn]

12. How come little kids always have runny noses? Was this a conspiracy by the Kleenex people to ensure profits forever?

LOL!!!

33. The reason for creating beanie babies was what?

[Kathy in Alaska]

Good afternoon, Kiddo!! Hope today is treating you well.

[Old Sarge]

MOJO!!

I have indeed, heard thy pleas and desires, thou good and faithful servant, who art pleasing in My sight. Therefore shall I reveal unto thee, My purpose and My mind, thus:

1. The Twinkie, and the contents therein, art the creation of those who received inspiration unto them from My hand. Rejoice thou in their creative talents, which proceed from My bounty;

2. Through Me, all things art possible. Therefore I sayeth unto thee, Mojo, obeyest thou the law with good heart;

3. All of My children of many lands, are precious and beautiful in My sight;

4. Turn then, thy eyes toward My first response, wherein thou mayest find thy answer;

5. The creators of medicine wish first, that they doest no harm unto thee. Those of My children, who art precious in My sight, who mayest read those words in confusion, or those who possess no caffeine in their veins, and are to be pitied, are deserving of thy help in wisdom. Deny them not thy aid, for I am with them;

6. Those unhappy souls, who harbor little love in their hearts for thee, yea, even they art blessed in My sight. For from these, thou shalt see the paths of sorrow and torment of the heart and spirit, and thus shalt thou knowest when to turn aside from wrath and ignorance. My word shalt thee follow, as if it proceedeth from a hundred mouths;

7. My child, Job, was possesed of such faith as to be held as example of My infinite love for thee, yea, even unto your days, Mojo. For I sayeth unto thee, even in Job's deepest despair, his faith was shaken not. Be like unto him, for I shall be with thee, yea, even as thou drivest the highways;

8. Ye shalt have patience with even these of My children, for their purpose, when served, shall further glorify My design;

9. My child, whom you otherwise callest "Tomkow", hideth many secrets within his veil. Some he shalt share with thee, whereupon thou shalt not fear what is contained within, for I am with thee;

10. My child, whom you otherwise call "Goddess", She who is beloved of Heaven and Earth, all praise to Her name, verily shall She journey to and fro, and up and down the beach, in Her search for that which is Her goal. Sharest thou with Her your patience and strength, for I sayeth unto thee, She shall truly find Her place, even unto oceanfront and central air;

11. Thy concern for the animals of the fields truly reveals thy glad and caring heart, O My child, Mojo. Verily, I sayeth unto thee, thy fears must needs be put to rest, for naught is done that I shalt not permit;

12. All children, who art shining as gems and jewels in My sight, shalt recieve of thy compassion and care in their affliction, given unto them from thy hands with glad and smiling countenance. Got that?

13. Turnest thou, thy eyes toward Response #5, being the fifth number, wherein thou shalt find truth revealed unto thee;

14. Meddle not in the punishment of the Lord thy God, who is just in His mercy and His anger. Turnest thou thy eyes from this unfortunate, lest thy waist expand in turn;

15. Turnest thou, thy eyes toward My previous response, being the fourteenth number, wherein thou shalt find truth revealed unto thee;

16. My good and faithful servant, who truly resides this day in Heaven, dost enjoy the fruits and vegetables of his labors;

17. Seekest thou the truth, by way of My prophet on Earth, the Great Google, whereby which your desire shalt be seen;

18. Avert thy eyes, so full of innocence, from this sight, O My child Mojo, lest thou joinest that one as a pillar of wood three cubits in height;

19. Truly I sayeth unto thee, My child Mojo, those who dwelleth in the land across the sea, who revileth thy nation with pithy words, even such as they art children of My mind, precious in My sight, who have but fallen from My grace in their naughtiness;

20. Truly I sayeth unto thee, Mojo, that even the brightest and most brilliant mind cannot approach the mind of the Lord thy God, in this which, the concept was Mine alone, and My faithful servant, obedient in My sight, made of it a copy, as a child might mimic the works of the father;

21. This afflicted one, O My child Mojo, truly is worthy of both pity and of scorn - pity for his affliction, and scorn for his lack of shame;

22. Verily, this unfortunate child of My heart, whose girth is the stuff of legend, does eat of the gumbo and jambalaya, which art the foods of the lands beyond the marshes and swamps, wherefore art found those people known unto you as the "Cajun";

23. Question not My judgement upon thee, O My child Mojo, for reasons of thy affliction, for truly I sayeth unto thee, the issue is touchy;

24. Even the lowliest creature that creeps upon the land, or swims in the deeps, or flies through the airs, are precious to Me. Consider their gossamer webs in the dewy mornings, and the inspirations even these have given my child, whom thou callest Bentfeather, weaver of words, even as the spider weaves;

25. I sayest unto thee, their fortunes will change next year;

26. She who is known unto thee as Cher, posesseth but one covering for her head, for which she alters her appearence - she merely changes it for each situation, for she is bald;

27. Turnest thou, thy eyes toward the twenty-third response, being the fourth response before this, wherein thou shalt find truth revealed unto thee - the apple is a sign unto thee, and a reminder of that transgression;

28. Green tea contains that which is conducive to health, and can be drunk in great quantities - the hot dog contains that which is conducive to health, but thou shalt not eat of it in mass, lest thou surely go;

29. Thou shalt not eat of any unclean thing, as told unto thee - so waffles AND pancakes are pleasing in My sight;

30. My precious child Mojo, fair in the eyes of Man, whose beauty proceedeth from My hands unto thee, thy hair is but one facet upon the fabulous jewel of price wich is even thee, so get used to it;

31. I indeed, have seen the plight of she whom you otherwise call Mother, and truly I sayeth unto thee, your Mother has yet to use the greatest and most terrible of all powers which I bestowest upon the afflicted women, that which is known among men as THE GUILT TRIP;

32.

33. Turnest thou, thy eyes toward Response #1, being the first response, wherein thou shalt find truth revealed unto thee;

34. O My child Mojo, did you not see that, the doe fell to the hunter, so that the hunter could feed his four children at his home, and share the bounty of the hunt, which is venison, with his neighbors, who praised his name for providing for the hungry? That, and it was part of the plot line, but I digresseth;

35. O My child Mojo, compassionate in sharing, whatever other place would he, whom you call otherwise "Old Sarge", find sustenance as he watches the walls by night?

36. Turnest thou, thy eyes toward Response #32, being the thirty-second response, wherein thou shalt find truth revealed unto thee;

37. Truly I sayeth unto thee, your suspicions are not correct;

38. Those who cast their lures upon the waters, seek Me in the silence of the air, and the quiet of their hearts. And if they listen with care, trult they discover that I have been present all the time, at their side, wherever they may be.

As I am always at your side, O My child Mojo. Go therefore in My peace, with My understanding to guide you.