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if you ever hear your woman saying any of these things check the closet for rod serling because you are in the twilight zone :-)
1 posted on 08/17/2003 2:08:55 PM PDT by freepatriot32
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To: freepatriot32
69. Let's invite my younger sister and do a threesome, shall we?!
104 posted on 08/17/2003 8:17:32 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Go ahead, make my day and re-state the obvious! Again!)
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To: freepatriot32
Here's another:

You did a great job cleaning that toilet!

107 posted on 08/17/2003 8:35:43 PM PDT by frodolives (Moose bites can be pretti nasti)
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To: freepatriot32
"Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire."

Ding! Ding! Ding!

*I* said this to my husband when I was interviewing for a six-figure a year position that required 42 weeks of travel annually. It was the job of a lifetime, and I wanted it BADLY!!!

What did Hubby say? "Who's going to clean the house and take care of the kids while you're gone?"

"You are," I replied. "I'll bring home the bacon and you stay home with the kids."

"But I'll never see you," he insisted, perturbed.

"Look, plenty of men do it," I reasoned. "My Dad worked away from home for 3 years, and my Mom did a great job raising us. You could be a Mr. Mom."

His tone quickly shifted to terse. "So, you're going to be sleeping in a different city every week, traveling for days on end?"

"Yes, Honey. Extensive traveling is part of the job, which is why it pays so much. Sometimes I'll be in a different cities during the week. Look, I already passed the screening interview and the personality profile. I'm half-way home. Think about it!"

"Absolutely not!" he roared. "You're my wife. You will sleep next to me at night! I'm not going to spend everyday worrying about what's happening to you in some distant city."

Some may look at the exchange above and think..he's jealous, or over-protective, or worried that I would cheat (of course, I never would, my husband is my love for all time). Me, I look at the above exchange and think...he still adores me after all these years.

P.S. I notified the company that I would not be pursuing the position. If my husband wouldn't support me in it, I didn't want it.

110 posted on 08/17/2003 9:13:23 PM PDT by TheWriterInTexas (Under Seige - MWCF)
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To: freepatriot32
"Boy those Detroit Tigers can sure play some good baseball."

Come to think of it, you'll never hear any guys say that either.
116 posted on 08/17/2003 9:54:33 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: freepatriot32
One thing you will never hear a man say, "Excuse me mam, when you bend over like that I can see right down your blouse."
123 posted on 08/17/2003 11:10:06 PM PDT by BJungNan
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To: freepatriot32
10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

The rest are funny, but this one pisses me off. There is a real trend to accept lesbianism because of some bizarre perception that most men enjoy this perversion. I've met guys who like that stuff, but OTOH I've met faggots too. Me and most of my friends have only ever sought one woman at a time. Sorry - most guys are not perverts.

This is just another route to try and make homosexuality mainstream.

124 posted on 08/17/2003 11:10:07 PM PDT by kidd
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To: freepatriot32
"My college roommate is coming to visit this weekend. How about a threesome?"
135 posted on 08/18/2003 8:38:32 AM PDT by CholeraJoe (If Rudy Bakhtiar had no teeth, could she still lie through her gums?)
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To: freepatriot32
136. Arf, arf!
136 posted on 08/18/2003 8:40:32 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Go ahead, make my day and re-state the obvious! Again!)
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To: freepatriot32
#35. Stop and ask directions? What the Hell is wrong with you?
139 posted on 08/18/2003 8:59:11 AM PDT by N. Theknow
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To: freepatriot32
Come quick Honey, Dale Jr. just took the lead!
151 posted on 08/18/2003 9:52:03 AM PDT by gc4nra ( this tag line protected by Kimber and the First Amendment)
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To: freepatriot32
Something I'll never hear my wife say...

"Honey, we just have too many doggone throw pillows in this house."

153 posted on 08/18/2003 9:56:41 AM PDT by opus86
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To: freepatriot32
154. My little elvis is bigger than yours!
154 posted on 08/18/2003 9:58:03 AM PDT by Revolting cat! (Go ahead, make my day and re-state the obvious! Again!)
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To: freepatriot32
3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Hubby got disgusted with a game once, left and went to the barn to clean it (he was REALLY disgusted) his team pulled it out, and the coach announced his retirement. (Bama -- Auburn -- Gene Stallings.) He came back and didn't believe me when I told him what happened.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

Actually, I've painted the inside many times, and helped him paint the windows outside. Weekend before last I pressure cleaned the patio and the porch.

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

Do it all the time.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

I've let him sleep through from Saturday afternoon until Sunday morning, when he had promised to take me out for dinner after a short nap. He needed to sleep, so I let him.

155 posted on 08/18/2003 10:03:24 AM PDT by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch
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To: TheMom; thackney
Ping!
159 posted on 08/18/2003 12:56:27 PM PDT by Eaker (This is OUR country; let's take it back!!!!!)
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To: freepatriot32
160) Yes, I suppose that since I supported Clinton I have to be consistent and go along with his definition of "sex". >:)
160 posted on 08/18/2003 1:02:36 PM PDT by E Rocc
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To: freepatriot32
"quit being a back seat driver. Shut your eyes and enjoy the scenery."

"Did you know that Ingemar Johansson knocked out FLoyd Patterson in 1959 in round 3?"
162 posted on 08/18/2003 1:38:29 PM PDT by samanella
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To: freepatriot32
Look, not to beat a dead horse, but this 'why men don't get married' thread was on FR a few days ago. As a single man, 28yo, I haven't heard any believable rebuttals to the patterns suggested by nomarriage.com.

The only attempts at defending against this site, and this anti-marriage movement in general, tend to be first-hand accounts. And we all know that first-hand tends to be unreliable statistically. AND, these first-hand stories I believe originate from 15 to 20 year long marriages, so in effect they are from the 'old-school' of marriage.

But as far as any statistics, patterns, societal observations actually supporting the idea that a man is better off coupled to one woman for the rest of his life, and is better off exposed to the potential liabilities that a marriage brings, I haven't heard any.

Not that I want anyone to try to talk me into marriage (it ain't happenin'), but somebody needs to at least try to put up a good fight...

188 posted on 08/18/2003 7:09:38 PM PDT by natewill
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