30 things you'll never hear a woman say

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[freepatriot32]

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

[NYC GOP Chick]

33. "Today's wrestlers can't compare to the glory days of the 80's, when Ric Flair was in his prime, The Four Hoursemen were dominant, and the NWA had the highest rated program on WTBS."

33a) Actually, Tommy "Wildfire" Rich was always my personal favorite. For tag teams, I was partial to The Samoans.

[NYC GOP Chick]

Actually, I've said and/or done all those at one time or another in my life.

[LanPB01]

I was a fan of Rich's in the early 80's, but he really let himself go once Ted Turner bought the promotion from Jim Crockett. Looked like he hadn't seen the inside of a gym in ages.

[NYC GOP Chick]

With very few exceptions, I wouldn't want a guy who's much like that list.

[NYC GOP Chick]

Yes, and that he spent *far* too much time at the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. :(

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Yes, definitely. Furthermore, if I saw one of those in a swimsuit, I'd call everyone I knew over to take a look.

I guess I'm just not "girly"!

[LanPB01]

Of course, with my metrosexual tendencies, I'm naturally going to cheer for a limousine riding, jet flying son of a gun like The Nature Boy, Ric Flair. WHOOOOOOO!

[NYC GOP Chick]

I always assumed he's gay.

[Scenic Sounds]

I guess I'm just not "girly"!

Who are you trying to kid, Little Bo Peep? ;-)

[LanPB01]

Blasphemy! The Nature Boy has been treating the ladies to rides on Space Mountain - WHOOO! - for over 30 years. He's a sixty minute man, and he's all night long!

[gc4nra]

Come quick Honey, Dale Jr. just took the lead!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Ummmm...you? ; )

[opus86]

Something I'll never hear my wife say...

"Honey, we just have too many doggone throw pillows in this house."

[Revolting cat!]

154. My little elvis is bigger than yours!

[Tuscaloosa Goldfinch]

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Hubby got disgusted with a game once, left and went to the barn to clean it (he was REALLY disgusted) his team pulled it out, and the coach announced his retirement. (Bama -- Auburn -- Gene Stallings.) He came back and didn't believe me when I told him what happened.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

Actually, I've painted the inside many times, and helped him paint the windows outside. Weekend before last I pressure cleaned the patio and the porch.

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

Do it all the time.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

I've let him sleep through from Saturday afternoon until Sunday morning, when he had promised to take me out for dinner after a short nap. He needed to sleep, so I let him.

[NYC GOP Chick]

And he looks like a flaming fruit.

[CholeraJoe]

And he looks like a flaming fruit.

Bananas Foster?;)

[NYC GOP Chick]

Um, OK. ;)

[Eaker]

Ping!

[E Rocc]

160) Yes, I suppose that since I supported Clinton I have to be consistent and go along with his definition of "sex". >:)