Cannibals

email | 8/2/03 | Rob Wright

[strela]

A plane carrying news anchor Dan Rather, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR reporter Cokie Roberts, and a Navy SEAL crashed in the jungle. After burying the pilot who was killed in the crash, the group hiked through the jungle trying to find civilization. Suddenly, they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the cannibal's village, and brought before the chief.

The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"

Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."

Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job til the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief turned and said, "And now, mysterious one dressed in black, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the SEAL. "What?" the chief replied. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the SEAL.

So the chief shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The SEAL went sprawling but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm H&K P9S from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his MP5N submachine gun, and sprayed the remaining cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, all the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the SEAL was untying the others, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

"What!?" said the SEAL, "And have you a**holes call ME the aggressor?!?"

[onyx]

Excellent Liz, just excellent!

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

This is a true story, RIGHT









:o)

[dansangel]

Thanks for the funny ping, ((((Meekie))))

Pings to a few of my FReeper Friends......

[Iscool]

That would be a democrat eskimo wouldn't it??? That was funny...

[Squantos]

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find
out that she's pregnant. She is furious. Here she's in the
middle of her first term as Senator of New York and this has
happened to her. She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and
immediately starts screaming.

"How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on
right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't
believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and
it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to
say?"

There is nothing but dead silence on the phone.

She screams again, "Did you hear me?!"

Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice.

In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

[Darksheare]

GaaaH!

[Soaring Feather]

[Darksheare]

The sword slashing guy on the right is rather amusing.
*Aaaaaarggh!*

[Soaring Feather]

You should see my Sir Lancelot!! WHOO HOO

[Darksheare]

*chuckle*
And the thought that drifts through my skull for some odd reason..."That can be misinterpreted.."
I'm gonna shut me trap right here...

[Soaring Feather]

Oh My!!!! Never occurred to me!! ROTFLMAO!!

My Sir Lancelot!!
THERE NOW CLEAN UP YOUR MIND!!!

[Darksheare]

After the day I had, I need it.
Thanks!

[TaxRelief]

Thanks for the (((((ping)))))! I needed that.

[Iscool]

Was that a joke, or a true story???








LOL

[oyez]

Of course its true.

[theDentist]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
John Malvo.
John Malvo who?
Very well. You're on the jury.