Today, we are not having a WFTD. Instead, we are going to have a BBQ. Music, food, beer, and fun. :-) So, relax, enjoy yourselves, because tomorrow there will be a pop quiz.
Posted on 05/26/2003 4:30:52 AM PDT by Bella_Bru
Today, we are not having a WFTD. Instead, we are going to have a BBQ. Music, food, beer, and fun. :-) So, relax, enjoy yourselves, because tomorrow there will be a pop quiz.
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "well, it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her....so I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt....so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants...so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says "Now go to town cowboy.....And here I am."
The townsfolk immediately notice that he is dressed differently. Everything he is wearing is made out of brown paper. Brown paper pants, shirt, jacket, chaps, and even brown paper boots. They look outside and notice that his horse has a brown paper saddle and a brown paper blanket roll.
About the time the cowboy is finishing his drinks, the sheriff walks in. "Sorry to do this son, but I'm going to have to arrest you." "What's the charge sheriff?"
"Rustling."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." Then he asked, "How about you?"
She said, "I'm gay. I spend my whole day thinking about women."
A little later a man sat down on the other side and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
The Cowboy replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I am gay..."
Give the shrimp a try, easy, soooo easy to make. :-)
Well I've been a bit preoccupied lately, you might say. Jobhunting will do that to ya.
Well, it's SH!T...That's right, SH!T!
Sh!t may just be the most functional word in the English language.
Consider:
You can be sh!t faced,
sh!t out of luck,
or have sh!t for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your sh!t together,
find a place for your sh!t
or decide to sh!t or get off the pot.
You can smoke sh!t,
buy sh!t,
sell sh!t,
lose sh!t,
find sh!t,
forget sh!t,
and tell others to eat sh!t and die.
Some people know their sh!t,
while others can't tell the difference between sh!t and sh!neola.
There are lucky sh!ts,
dumb sh!ts,
crazy sh!ts,
and sweet sh!ts.
There is bull sh!t,
horse sh!t and
chicken sh!t.
You can throw sh!t,
sling sh!t,
catch sh!t,
shoot sh!t,
or duck when sh!t hits the fan.
You can give a sh!t or
serve sh!t on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep sh!t
or be happier than a pig in sh!t.
Some days are colder than sh!t,
some days are hotter than sh!t,
and some days are just plain sh!tty.
Some music sounds like sh!t,
things can look like sh!t,
and there are times when you feel like sh!t.
You can have too much sh!t,
not enough sh!t,
the right sh!t,
the wrong sh!t or
a lot of weird sh!t.
You can carry sh!t,
have a mountain of sh!t,
or find yourself up sh!t's creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh!t
and other times you fall in a bucket of sh!t
and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your sh!t,
you don't need to know anything else!
You could pass this along, if you give a SH!T!
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual (later discovered to be a public school teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
You're welcome.
Easy Halloween costume - peanut butter with pieces of toilet paper in it!!!!!!!!!!!
C'mere Sweetie, I'll buy you a drink.
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