Time to end the dating game....

[1stFreedom]

My friends unwed, 20 something year old daughter got pregnany recently. The young woman had an abortion, but thank God it didn't take. Now she is going to keep the baby.

The father is half way across the country and wants to have the baby killed. Typical man, want's the fun involved in making a baby but doesn't want the responsiblity of the results of having sex.

My friend is involved in the Church and pro-life activities. Her children were brought up pro-life. So how is it her daughter had an abortion??? How is it her daughter got pregnant in the first place?

Dating.

It all comes down to the fact that people, for the most part, cannot or will not control themselves. I know this from personal experience.

Letting your 20 something year old daughter travel across the country to visit a boyfriend is absurd. You can bet that about 90% of overnight visits by young adults involves sex.

In the past the problem of overnight sex romps was dealt with by sewing the man up in a sack that he couldn't get out of until the morning. Sounds silly? You bet, but, what would you rather do, do something silly or have a pregnant daughter and/or a dead grandchild?

In the past "dates" were chaperoned, providing little or no opportunity for intimate relations. The benefits of such "dating" is that once your jets cool, you can make good decisions about the other person.

Our daughters, even those into their 20's, need protection by parents. If they live at home, there needs to be rules about dating and men. One might think that this would scare away men. If a man isn't willing to abide by these rules, then what is he really after? Is he just after sex? If he is really interested, I bet he'll be willing to be chaperoned.

Friends need to chaperon friends. Double "dating" provides accountablity, peer pressure not to have sex, and it lessens the opportunity for sex.

Also, women shouldn't let a man in their home at all unless a parent is there.

Finally, tell your daughters that if they are pregnant, to tell you first before telling the baby's father. Have them invite the gentleman to your home, and have them tell the father there.

Why? Because more often then not, a man will arrange an abortion appointment. When the woman comes over he'll drive her to the clinc. This is what happened to my friends daughter. She went to his state and house and he drove her right to the clinic!

Never, never, as long as your daughter lives under your roof, ever let your daughter spend the night with a boyfriend. IF she thinks this is silly and does not abide by it, show her the door.

If you think this is silly, then you are just part of the problem. What is worse, chaperoned "dating" and protecting your daughters, or rampant abortion, AIDS, and children without participating fathers? Think about it really good.

So far, Dating is an utter failure.

[1stFreedom]

Abortion clinics are filled with Catholic/Protestent women, some even wearing WWJD bracelets.

[Cable225]

Are YOU paying for her college education? Because if YOU are, then you have EVERY right, on certain things, to be asked PERMISSION. IMHO.

Sometimes I just don't know how to respond...this is one of those times. But I'll take a shot at it.

My daughter is 18. She can vote, serve in the Armed forces, enter into contracts, etc. Do I pay for her college education? You bet, because I have the means to.

I raised my daughter to think like an adult and act like an adult if she wants to be treated like an adult. In short, that means if the discussion is MY MONEY, she needs my permission to spend it.

In all other matters, I'll trust that I raised her to be her own person. She has yet to disappoint me in that regard.

[1stFreedom]

>>In other words, I am insulted that you basically say that young adults like myself are a bunch of raging maniacs who hop in bed. No.

I'm sorry if you get insulted by reality. Take a look at the figures, and most people are not virgins into their mid 20's. So yes, young adults are a bunch of raging maniacs. There are exceptions to the rule, and you may be one of them.

>>You insult your daughters by making them into sex-crazed people.

No, this won't make them into sex crazed people. Having sex makes one into a sex crazed person. They won't know what they are missing till they have it, after all!

[azGOPgal]

Thanks for the ping. Parents can't really control what their 20-something year olds are doing, and they can't control what their kids at college are doing. Kids these days are just so open about sex and think it's so uncool to wait. Don't even get me started when alcohol gets in the mix. My friend got a little drunk, and had some fun in the back seat of my car with a guy she just met. I, OTOH, plan to wait for marriage, no matter how uncool that is.

[retrokitten]

And this is the post you chose to answer of all 140+? Some people on this thread make some very good points and ask very good questions that deserve a reply before mine.

[1stFreedom]

>>BTW, what is this 'church-going girl' doing having a boyfriend clear across the country?

That's part of my point. It's absurd that one would allow their daughter to do such a thing.

>>What is she doing dating a guy who will even consider having sex and then demand an abortion?

Good question. One more thing to instill in our children!

>>Why don't you put any of the blame on her??

It's obvious that both are to blame. What I'm advocating is protection since men are typically the ones to be more sexually agressive. (Notice I say typically!). Women who get pregnant have a child to deal with. It's all the more reason why they need extra protection.

All in all, both parties are equally as guilty.

[azGOPgal]

I am waiting till marriage.</>

Thank you! Another young adult brought up with morals who respects the sacredness of marriage. I'm waiting too.

[1stFreedom]

>> Parents can't really control what their 20-something year olds are doing,

No, this is not correct. Parents don't try since they have this weird idea that when a child hits 18 or 21 that they are free to do what they want. Parents rule the roost, and if their children want to be independant then parents need to show them the door.

>> and they can't control what their kids at college are doing.

Exactly. So many parents send their kids to college AWAY from home. Very dangerous. Make your kid commute to school.

[1stFreedom]

LOL

You post was very easy to answer!

[retrokitten]

exactly my point

[azGOPgal]

Hopefully, by the time the kids reach 20 something, the "kids" should be able to live responsible lives. That is only if the parents actually played an active role in raising their children. I understand that your friends daughter was brought up in a Christian home, but she obviously didn't take to what was being taught. I don't know how the parents raised their daughter, but most parents these days can afford to be quite a bit more involved in their childrens lives. My parents raised me with love, morals, and boundries. I'm in my first year of college and haven't done anything stupid that I regret, or that my parents would be ashamed of. I was taught that waiting until marriage was the right thing to do, because it makes the relationship all the more special.

I live 2 1/2 hours away from home. Like I said, I'm doing just fine on my own. But that's because my parents did a good job raising me.

[1stFreedom]

Ok. Point taken. But what about the rest of the population?

Obviously, if courting and chaperoned dating catches on, maybe the rest of the country will adopt it. So for people like yourself it wouldn't matter, but for the rest of the millions of young adults it would help.

I was brought up with excellent morals, examples, teaching, faith, etc. Problem was my peers were my parents in HS. One more reason to homeschool!

[azGOPgal]

I know this is wishful thinking, but hopefully more parents will start to take an active role in the upbringing of their children instead of letting the tv do the teaching.

Someone mentioned earlier about double dating now being reffered to as orgies. I think that was a joke, but just because couples are double dating doesn't mean that's going to fix all the problems. Time have changed and kids these days have no respect for how special sex is. I think parents need to start teaching that again, and just maybe then will things start getting better.

With that, I'm heading home for Easter.

[rwfromkansas]

Thanks for clarifying.

[rwfromkansas]

you have a private reply

[Cagey]

Very dangerous. Make your kid commute to school.

Good idea. No kid would ever want to have sex in the back seat of a car.

What you're missing is that you can not stand on guard over a 20 year old.

[bankwalker]

your profile page has some very good advice : )

Thank you.

[BrooklynGOP]

Heavy sigh. Guess 1stFreedom is right Brooklyn... obviously you cannot or will not control yourself.

That's because you are special :)~

[1stFreedom]

Well, if you kids take a bus to college, that solves the problem.

>>What you're missing is that you can not stand on guard over a 20 year old

No, but you can have and enforce ground rules. They don't like them, they can move out ON THEIR OWN with their own money and resources. College room and board isn't cheap.