Time to end the dating game....

[1stFreedom]

My friends unwed, 20 something year old daughter got pregnany recently. The young woman had an abortion, but thank God it didn't take. Now she is going to keep the baby.

The father is half way across the country and wants to have the baby killed. Typical man, want's the fun involved in making a baby but doesn't want the responsiblity of the results of having sex.

My friend is involved in the Church and pro-life activities. Her children were brought up pro-life. So how is it her daughter had an abortion??? How is it her daughter got pregnant in the first place?

Dating.

It all comes down to the fact that people, for the most part, cannot or will not control themselves. I know this from personal experience.

Letting your 20 something year old daughter travel across the country to visit a boyfriend is absurd. You can bet that about 90% of overnight visits by young adults involves sex.

In the past the problem of overnight sex romps was dealt with by sewing the man up in a sack that he couldn't get out of until the morning. Sounds silly? You bet, but, what would you rather do, do something silly or have a pregnant daughter and/or a dead grandchild?

In the past "dates" were chaperoned, providing little or no opportunity for intimate relations. The benefits of such "dating" is that once your jets cool, you can make good decisions about the other person.

Our daughters, even those into their 20's, need protection by parents. If they live at home, there needs to be rules about dating and men. One might think that this would scare away men. If a man isn't willing to abide by these rules, then what is he really after? Is he just after sex? If he is really interested, I bet he'll be willing to be chaperoned.

Friends need to chaperon friends. Double "dating" provides accountablity, peer pressure not to have sex, and it lessens the opportunity for sex.

Also, women shouldn't let a man in their home at all unless a parent is there.

Finally, tell your daughters that if they are pregnant, to tell you first before telling the baby's father. Have them invite the gentleman to your home, and have them tell the father there.

Why? Because more often then not, a man will arrange an abortion appointment. When the woman comes over he'll drive her to the clinc. This is what happened to my friends daughter. She went to his state and house and he drove her right to the clinic!

Never, never, as long as your daughter lives under your roof, ever let your daughter spend the night with a boyfriend. IF she thinks this is silly and does not abide by it, show her the door.

If you think this is silly, then you are just part of the problem. What is worse, chaperoned "dating" and protecting your daughters, or rampant abortion, AIDS, and children without participating fathers? Think about it really good.

So far, Dating is an utter failure.

[The Mike Device]

You wouldn't presume to forbid your mother-in-law to date though would you?

[discostu]

Only when she's staying at my place ;)

[longtermmemmory]

Any baby born out of marriage must have its parentage determined by DNA testing.

I had an aquantance, a girlfriend stated she was pregnant. Being the upstanding guy he immediatly said they should get married and start planning a proper life together. She was shoked, he wanted her to stay home and take care of "their" child and he would provide. She had a good job and so did he.

Suddenly she started to hesitate. She suggested he just agree to pay support and they would just be engaged until after the birth. He insisted on marriage first. Long story short. The real father turned out to be an unemployed nobody and she just wanted a good checkbook. (BTW he had also insisted on DNA confirmation to protect the child from any suspisions of who was really the child's father.)

[Sloth]

If he is really interested, I bet he'll be willing to be chaperoned.

Not true for me. I prefer self-control and morality, not distrust.

[wardaddy]

more and more I am getting to the end of *dates* and finding the women pushing it

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

My friend is involved in the Church and pro-life activities. Her children were brought up pro-life.

This was my first thought: I'm curious, you mention pro-life, but were the children also brought up with, and consistantly exposed to, the values and beliefs of their particular religion? If so, the pro-life ideas seems it would be a given, but then again, (IMHO) so would the issues regarding dating, relationships and pre-marital sex.

Or, as Pastor is fond of saying;

If you're going to talk the talk, you'd better walk the walk.

[PsyOp]

Typical man...

"Typical woman" to blame it all on the man and make sweeping, unsupported generalizations about "typical" male attitudes. /Sarcasm.

[thesearethetimes...]

"Speak for yourself, chump."

"In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling."


I know this has nothing to do with the thread, but your profile page has some very good advice : )

[rwfromkansas]

"In the past "dates" were chaperoned, providing little or no opportunity for intimate relations."

If your kids need to be chaperoned or they immediately head for the sack, that is your problem.

Demanding that people who are able to control "urges" and just enjoy the company of another person be escorted by another is insulting.

As for bundling, the Puritans did that for courting couples so they could spend time together overnight while stopping any temptation. I think that is a good idea. Again though, if a person needs that to control himself, he is not much of a catch.

[dighton]

Don't say I never ping you for the good stuff.

[retrokitten]

They're all going to laugh at you!

[rwfromkansas]

In other words, I am insulted that you basically say that young adults like myself are a bunch of raging maniacs who hop in bed. No.

I am waiting till marriage. And I neither need bundling nor to be escorted to be able to control myself. The Holy Spirit does that thank you very much.

You insult your daughters by making them into sex-crazed people. Give them a chance.

[longtermmemmory]

I also liked the tradition of asking for the girl's hand in marriage from her father / parents.

Couples always found some place for discrete sex. (discrete being the operative word)

If you respect yourself, both parties, the "urges" should not be an issue. If you respect youself, taking responsibility should also not be an issue.

[rwfromkansas]

No kidding.

This woman acts like the church-going girl is innocent and just deluded.

Uh no. She chose to date a boy who would have sex. She chose to NOT date someone who was a strong Christian.

She chose to sin.

Ultimately, it actually goes back to HER.

[Belial]

Hey, I noticed you have no qualms about describing your friend's daughters intimate problems and sex life.

You sound like a good friend, and pretty liberated to boot. How's your sex life?

[rwfromkansas]

If I liked a girl, I would have no problem being escorted etc or watched the entire time we were together.

But I do not like the insulting tone of this thread's initiator that if it doesn't happen we are going to go out and have sex just because we young adults can't control ourselves.

I also like the tradition of asking marriage permission from the father of a girl.

A friend of mine from college here goes down to Texas to see his girlfriend's father occassionally and he intends to ask him permission to marry her. The tradition is not dead.

[thesearethetimes...]

Thanks for saying what needed to be said in an honest, but not ugly way. Well done.

[rwfromkansas]

BTW, what is this 'church-going girl' doing having a boyfriend clear across the country? What is she doing dating a guy who will even consider having sex and then demand an abortion?

He is not a moral man, but your friend's "good Christian daughter" chose to date the immoral and likely UNSAVED (i.e. non-Christian guy) and despite being an adult, consented to have sex. Why....no doubt your good Christian girl thinks he is a hot guy and so she did not care about his morals.

Why don't you put any of the blame on her??

[rwfromkansas]

Thank you for at least acknowledging that the girl is not some innocent in all of this. She chose this immoral boyfriend and chose to have sex.

[Lazamataz]

In the past the problem of overnight sex romps was dealt with by sewing the man up in a sack that he couldn't get out of until the morning.

In the past = Over two hundred years ago.