Irishman on the Bridge

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[EveningStar]

There is an Irishman getting ready to jump to his death from a bridge when a priest walks past.

The man turns to the priest and says, "Don't try to stop me father, I'm going to jump."

"Don't jump." says the priest, "It can't be that bad. Think of the life you have yet to live."

"That's one of the reasons I'm jumping." says the Irishman.

"Well if that won't stop you, think about your family." says the priest.

"That's another reason." says the Irishman.

"Well think about your job." says the priest.

"There's another reason." says the Irishman.

"Well if that won't stop you think about St. Patrick." says the priest.

"Who's that?" asks the Irishman.

"Jump, you Protestant bastard!" yells the priest.

[stylin19a]

good one !

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little sh$t, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

[TradicalRC]

Two Irishmen, Sean and Patrick were discussing their wives. "Ah, Patrick," says Sean, "you've no idea. My wife, she drives me to drink." "Oh, you're a lucky man for sure" replies Patrick, "my wife makes me walk."