Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Ductape to Privates...(A MUST READ!!!!)

Corona Times | Feb. 15 2003 | Unknown

[Blue Scourge]

Man Sues Tom Ridge Over Duct Tape Fears

Corona, CA - Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush.

Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.

"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."

Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair. After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.

"I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out".

Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed.

The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.

Corona times,

[mikrofon]

Go to the dictionary under LOOSER and you will find a picture of this fellow...
(extra "O" intentional for extra stupidity ;^)

[O.C. - Old Cracker]

Hey, there are idiots offering themselves to Saddam as a human shield, this isn't that hard to believe.

[muir_redwoods]

So now I know who voted for Gray Davis

[RummyChick]

another report of it


http://www.migente.com/Members/index.html?LAUNCH_PAGE=http://members.migente.com/Section08/

[tracer]

He's claiming that he was forcibly taped.....

[TADSLOS]

After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.

LOL!! YA THINK?! Hopefully the ingredients of the tape residue will leave this moron sterile. He doesn't need to be breeding.

[the_doc]

Any lawyer who takes his case should be disbarred.

[Normal4me]

"SUCKERS! Steven J. Bosell is a Phil Hendrie character!"

DING-DING-DING! We have a winner!

No more callers please.

[CaptainJustice]

I live in the PRC and I haven't heard anything about this yet... I just pray to God this is fake because its too depressing if it's real.

You can't sue the president can you?

[glock rocks]

hendrie ping!

[FeliciaCat]

Funny, but not true..there is no Corona Times...the local paper is the Press Enterprise or the Daily Independent.

I'm from Corona/Norco, California. :)

[Redcloak]

It can't be. He was on the radio just they other day. (KFI640-AM in Los Angeles)

[Reeses]

They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed.

When men cry, in general they are unable to speak in coherent sentences. That's one way to tell if it's an act. The other is no tears, no water. One thing I really hate is all the fake bad actors, men crying without tears and carrying on conversations. I think we owe all this fake sobbing these days to Clinton himself.

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

LOL this loser needs to follow directions he now has to put duck tape and plastic on and off his testicles and in and around his anus, to protect him from dumba$$itis.

[radioman]

It could be true. There are a lot of wacky people out there filing frivolous lawsuits all the time

It's the Socialist Republic of California! This guy will be awarded millions if it makes it to the jury.

I know I'm warped, but in my mind this guy looks like Greyout Davis.

[xm177e2]

This is obviously a hoax. Newspapers report that people "said" things, not "sobbed" them.

[Tribune7]

This guy owns a business?

[Xenalyte]

Dip$hit ping!

[HEY4QDEMS]

I can't breath!!!ROFLMAO

[underthesun]

AHH, the many uses of duct tape.

I guess we're not the only place the breeds a special kind of stupid. LOL!!!