[Just another Joe]

The Lounge is open!

[doubled]

Joe, could I have a cold, frosty, amber brew in one of the big glasses?

I thought the smoker's lounge might get a kick out of this:

A man walks into a pharmacy and says to the druggist, "Say, my wife asked me to get her some tampons. Can you direct me to
them?" The pharmacist replied, "Right down aisle six."

A few minutes later, the man returns with a bag of cotton balls and a ball of string. The pharmacist asked, "Didn't you come in
here for a box of tampons for your wife?"

The man explained, "Yes I did, but let me explain. A few days ago, I asked my wife to come here to get me a pack of cigarettes.
About two hours later, she came back home with a can of loose leaf tobacco and some cigarette papers and said, "roll your own."

[Grit]

Hey Joe, How about a Sapphire Martini?

You know, if I didn't have a football game to go to this weekend, I would have considered a road trip up north to see if I could help out the Canadian strippers. :)

[Robert A Cook PE]

Hey Joe, would you ask your new waitress to bring me something wet, hot, steamy to slake a poor engineer's thirst?

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.asp?PicID=6481

Oh yeah.....
And a cup of coffee too.

[Gabz]

Sorry to do a hit and run folks - but I've been rather busy this week - and it is now time for my weekly date with my husband.

Here's part of what I've been busy with this week!!!!!

I'll try to make it back later - gotta go deal with things!!!!

[MeekOneGOP]

Just in time for Halloween....

A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days, so the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear. When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume. The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear."

The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement. The husband comes home from work, goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume. He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"

The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and the third item is a 2 X 4. The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?" The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 X 4 up your a** and go as a fudgesicle."

[MeekOneGOP]

Hung Chow: "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache,stomach ache and my legs hurt, I not come work."

The boss says: "You know Hung Chow I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great, I be at work soon. You got nice house."

[aaaDOC]

Hi Joe. I need something appropriate to go with my after lunch pipe. B&B maybe?

Here are a couple of jokes for all:

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The Missing Scientists

A Russian scientist and a scientist from the Czech Republic had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear.  Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts.

Finally, their request was granted and they immediately flew to NY and then on West to Yellowstone.  They reported to the local ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was much too dangerous to go out and study the animals.

They pleaded that this was their only chance.  Finally the ranger relented.  The Russian and the Czech were given cell phones and told to report in each and every day.

For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists.  The rangers mounted a search party and found the scientists' camp completely ravaged.  No sign of the missing men.

They then followed the trail of a male and a female bear.  They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists because they feared an international incident.

They killed the female and cut open the bear's stomach...  only to find the remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"

"Of course," the other ranger nodded.  "The Czech is in the male."

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Black Poem


When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in sun, I black

When I cold, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black.


You white folks

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you gray.



So who the Hell you callin' colored?

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Saddam gets ready for battle:

A few days ago Saddam decided to promote a trusted Lieutenant named Habib to serve as a "right-hand man" to serve his every need in case of impending war.

After informing Habib of his decision, Saddam gave him these instructions: "In case of attack I am to be handed my lucky rifle and red shirt."

"Why a red shirt?" asked Habib.

"That is so if the infidels should attack me and shoot me, my men won't see the blood and will continue fighting to victory!" yelled Saddam.

"Wow, you're a hero to us all!" exclaimed Habib.

Soon after, Saddam was out on his rooftop and saw the entire US and British forces in the air and on the ground.

"Habib!", he yelled.  "Get me my lucky rifle and my red shirt."

After pausing to think, Saddam then whispered, "and my brown pants!"

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The Language

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London.  The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband.  The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.  She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.  The butcher got the message and the lady went home with chicken legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts.  Again, she didn't know how to say it, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast.  The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.  Unable to find away to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
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What were you thinking?
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HELLO!  Her husband speaks English!!!!! 


Have a great weekend!

[SheLion]

Hey Joe! Hi everyone. Sorry I am so late.......