Posted on 05/09/2002 9:39:03 AM PDT by the
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| Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former President Clinton, arrives at the Donatella Versace Fall-Winter 2002/2003 show in this March 5, 2002 file photo in Milan. Man in the background is not identified. It's a long road from gawky adolescent to twenty-something sex symbol, but Vanity Fair magazine says Chelsea Clinton has made the transition. (AP Photo/Luca Bruno, File) |
Of course, by calling her a "sex symbol" VF could be poking fun, just maybe. At least, for taste's sake, let's hope so.
"It's duck season!"
"It's rabbit season!"
"It's duck season!"
"It's rabbit season!"
She's so ugly...
...the tears roll down the back of her head when she cries.
...she'd make a freight train take a dirt road.
...her parents had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
...if my dog looked like that, I'd shave its rear end and make it walk around backwards.
...she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
...she'd scare a bulldog off a meat truck.
...rain won't fall on her.
Anyone have some more???
One more. To some folks, rich and/or powerful == sexy. Looks aren't even an issue.
Remember some of the hotties Kissinger used to date?
I disagree.
Chelsea looks a bit like Webb, a bit like Hillary, nothing at all like Bill. But Webb's looks aren't all that distinctive. Neither are Hillary's. The teeth tell the story. Neither Webb nor Hillary have teeth like that.
Jimmy Carter has teeth like that. He had an illegitimate daughter by an unknown woman who looks a bit like Webb and a bit like Hillary. The south abounds with such people. Other white southerners uncharitably call such people "trash".
Carter paid off the mother and got rid of an embarrassment. To Carter's credit, no abortion. Bill and Hillary got a show-child and quite a bit of behind-the-scenes political pull. Deal made.
Eleanor Roosevelt had teeth like that. She had an illegitimate son by Joe Kennedy. Legally she could have passed him off as Franklin's, but Franklin was with Uncle Joe at Yalta (or was it Teheran) during the appropriate time frame. Franklin would have known it was not his.
Carter's putative mother Miz Lillian was just a decent southern lady who'd just had a miscarriage that left her sterile. Joe Kennedy found her. She wanted a baby. Deal made. Sworn to secrecy, of course. The only decent human being in this sordid family saga.
Joe Kennedy's legitimate sons have looks that take after their mother Rose, a beautiful woman. John-John inherited those looks.
Chelsea Roosevelt Kennedy Carter inherited Eleanor Roosevelt's teeth, but the Vanity Fair folks compare her to her cousin John-John. They know the score.
Or, as my wife is fond of saying, "you can't polish a turd."
Which is why I've been having mixed feelings about Bubba! Are we now supposed to gain additional respect for Bubba knowing that he apparently had the better taste than to ever touch the Wench?
Is that Roy Orbison or Lyle Lovett in the background?
Translation please?
With those teeth, she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence...
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